ok, i'm feeling very sick on new year's eve. fun, huh? been sleeping for most of the day. sigh~ until i couldnt fall asleep. i realized i'm as naughty as my hamster; it's like i need to get up and walk around even when i'm very sick. so, i spent 2hrs watching "taste of love" and went back to nap until dinner. dont feel like eating any solid food now, thats why i'm hungry >_< well, thats sth new for new year's eve than how i spent all the other times on firework shows on TV.

suddenly miss the time when roomie chats on my aim, checks if her crush is on aim,etc. ^_^ hehe, it's just cute now, but annoying at the time. anyway, yeah, i still have her crush's sn...thats the odd part. lets call it her ex-crush. cuz roomie still loves me. =P

u know, it's strange how i havent talked to my les buddies for a long time. i actually had fun chatting tonite. i've always doubted her. not very sure cuz she's not obvious. damn, i lost! (cuz i always have a good sense in telling les/gay from others, except this one!) lori always asks how could i be so sure when i tell her that person is gay. ^^ i was never that sensitive until..hmm...senior year. i dont know, somehow i just got the talent all of a sudden. maybe from ally. oh yea, talked to him on aim and told him that my school starts next week. he said i sux!!!! argh. not that i want to go back to school (or go to school at all) if i had a choice.

i want to watch "lavender" so badly~ cuz i heard it's good. oooh, still need to watch meteor garden ONE.

life's been peaceful and slow. ahhh, so good. got one more week to enjoy the very last taste of it too. anyway, been doing everything i've longed to do during school days, eating as much as i want, being as lazy as i want,etc. ^_* yeah, life at home is awesome. maybe it's kinda good to be seeing family members instead of housemates, classmates, friends fr college, and studying for a while...it's like taking a break from the usual daily routine. u know, it's funny how internet became a luxury that i dont need at all here. it's a good thing cuz i'm no longer addicted to it.
btw, happy new year! to my friends who live close or far from me yet mentally close to me. oh yea, just lied to my friend that i have to stay home to have dinner with my family so i could stay home tmr night. hmm, oh well.

merry xmas, everyone~ whoa! it's xmas! hrm, a year has gone by fast! anyway, not a custom to me to make new year's resolution. naw...i'll change when things happen =P had dinner with my family tonite. mom cooked the steak too raw...so yea, had to have her re-cook it.

been thinking, am i doing too little about us or is she heading the wrong direction on this? we need to sit down and discuss. when will be a good time when both of us feel like to share and accept comments and thoughts? and again, i'm not sad about this. the whole entry wasnt meant to be "gloomy" if u felt it was.

been home. getting plenty of rest and food.just went up to davis on monday just to accompany lori. it's quite fun driving for 1.5hrs... almost missed the business hour of our bookstore. was informed that physics 7 series probably wouldnt have any textbook and was glad about it..hehe, yay~ no need to buy book for it nor searching for used ones online. plan for the rest of my winter break? hmm...waiting for after-xmas sale, gonna chill at home, finishing the next drama series, and hopefully reading ahead for ochem. ohh yea, got a C for stupid BIS1b!!!! ARGHHHHHHHHH. am still pissed off. (yea, and whose fault was that? sigh)

damn, wasnt invited to any xmas party...>_< so not christmasy~~

ARGHHH, STUPID AOL. JUST TOTALLY LOST MY BLOG ENTRY OF THE DAY.

anyway, "a step into the past" isnt as addictive as what i expected. could find the time to finish it since last yr. my fd lent it to me last xmas..hehe... hmmm... what else i wrote? anyway, still remembered what i was doing last yr during xmas break. i was in a confusing relationship and planned to get rid of my spiritual weaknesses by attending a christian conference where i met most of my fds fr Davis Chinese Chrisitan Church. we had fun cuz i lived with 5other girls in a house. it's just like girlscout camping. altho it was freakin' cold,etc... wendy going this year... hehe, she'll have to wear 5layers to resist the weather...haha, cuz the camp site is near the mountain top.

been home, watching TV most of the time or bugging my hamster or tucking my hamster in bed (in the afternoon).. yes, so wasting my time...oh well. sorta reading a book by jimmy too.

oh yea...does love have to equal forever? not necessary. cuz love=love. if love means sth else, they would've named it "forever". just my suggestion.

been getting up after 1pm lately. home is good. altho somehow i just lose conscious whenever i sleep in my own room, whats wrong? oh well~ got 3weeks to slack off..didnt even bother to call tapioca express back to see if they need me. what for? when i cant have the car for the most part of the week. naw, i'll stay home and rot with my TV and tapes/VCD. i've always like staring at people's 4 or 6-pack...i think it's awesome. i dont know..muscles are cool. butches need to have some muscles... (not talking about 4-packers) hehe, i'm sure everyone has biceps~(by definition: everyone has muscles, but are they well-built? thats the question)

oh yea, joey invited me to a group dinner on next fri. i wish lori could go with me. hmmm, or should i save some "quota" for future use? anyway, things to accomplish this week: finish all tapes and VCDs or movies. then move onto reading some books next week. ahh! perfect.

oh yea, lori got me a fleece throw with "love hon" sewed on the right hand corner for xmas..hehe, she said it's to warm me up. hehe, thx woh. yea, that throw is quite warm and thick. what else i got for xmas? hmm, bro got me a ring that i wanted fr Banana Republic. altho the reason behind my constant window shopping at BR is to get the ring for lori, hehe, my silly bro.

yay~ me home at last! got a card fr lynn, kinda warms my heart to hear fr her. i was going to email her some time ago but was afraid that i'd disrupt her. it's funny how her imagining of us worshipping together sorta makes me picture how it is to meet her knowing that she's a friend who truly loves me. that's a strange feeling. feeling close to her yet the thought of such seems distant.

drove fr davis to san jose today! hehe, in the rain too! hehe, it's quite fun cuz i was speeding =P anyhoo, still adjusting to life at home. i miss talking to terren, wendy and lori~ hehe,thats why i'm having fun chatting with terren honey on aim now. our conversations always crack me up.

suddenly remembered how i was asked if i'd go for a girl who's non-asian or asian? my answer was that i'd prefer a chinese. why? i guess i'm not white enough. oooh, forgetting my chinese lately, i couldnt finish my sentence without english substitutions. gosh!!! and i had a hard time translating what i wanted to say in chinese too! what the~ it's not like my roommate and friends speak eng with me!! i guess listening to lectures would turn a person white too. ahh, something to be related to my sociology class: assimilation process!

got a UCD bear for my bro cuz he's graduating fr SJSU. it says "someone at UCD loves me" on the bear's tshirt. i showed it to my mom and she could translate the whole sentence in chinese and i was proud of her english for a moment until she looked at me blankly and asked, "huh?" i was like, what? what's more to explain since u already repeated it in chinese!!" so i was quite pissed off and just head back to my room with my UCD bear. sigh.

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i'm finally done with this quarter! having final at 8am on a saturday is a pain. slept at 4 or 5...so horrible. i will never be so unprepared again! mom scolded me for not studying last weekend and had to stay up late for finals. well~ i had fun and i chose to have fun, so yea. got a C for BIS1a!! thats something nice to know..haha~ mom was quite surprised that i was so happy.. cuz i thought i'd be getting a D+!! shouldnt i be grateful for a C??!

slept at somewhere passed 5am... couldnt get up till 11am today ^^||| mood varied right before i went to bed. F****

spent the nite iwth lori again cuz i needed to take lori and terren honey to finals today. anyhoo, lori mentioned how she'd love to marry me ( o^.^o )...i was just..in awe. perhaps i was touched cuz no one has said or had such thought cuz of me b4. anyway, it felt very sweet tho (hehehe) ok ok, acting very gay right now. must stop.

been sleeping pretty late recently. why? no school ma~ dont have finals till wednesday..hehe, a lot of peeps were jealous of my finals schedule. just wanted to spend a bit more quality time with lori since it's 1) our 6th month anniversary 2) that i didnt have any time for her last week, 3) she's got finals and needs to stay up late to study and 4) we'll be off for xmas for 3weeks. i dont know.. i just cherish more of the time i get to see her around. haha, cuz i know i'll miss her ma. =P hmmm, getting mushy here..so..i'll just head back to study.

happy 6th month anniversary, to the one i love.

found a really nice love song in mandarin fr my old data CD. pls enjoy. download here carmen shui- loving powerlessly

quite a few unhappy things happened today between us. altho everything is settled, lets not mention of it again.

i'm possessive also, i'm sorry.

someone hasnt been updating her journal just becuz i didnt spend time with her recently ^^|||| come on, i still check ur journal quite frequently for new entry~

anyway, got my midterm results back today. even the one i took this morning!! omg, efficiency!!! =P anyway, finally did above-average (despite the below-average's all the other times =( i'm looking forward to getting a B for BIS1b, C for BIS1a and C-B for SOC4 and A for CHN-BL1. sigh sigh sigh

oh yea, met lani at the bookstore yesterday. she got prettier! ^.^ didnt say hi or anything but she stared at me for a short while there. it's either she regconizes me or that she's attracted. haha~ ok ok, just kidding.

ok, i'm done with my stupid bio midterm. i guess i did better than all the other times ^o^ so thats good. gonna skip chinese again so i can nap ^_* hehee

thx for ur dinner and daily food delivery on the nites b4 my exams. ^_^ fan kiu woh, leng lui. (thank u, beautiful)

got a flu lately, i think during shopping on sunday. anyways, didnt want to tell mommy cuz she'll just yell at me for my carelessness on my own health. ^^||| so yea. i already finished taking my flu medication last time when i got sick. so i'm on wendy's medication for cold and flu now..haha, hopefully i wont finish hers =P

^__________________________^ did well on my lab practical! (according to personal judgement) anyway, it was easier than what i expected and prepared. SO IT'S ALL GOOD. now, got more bio to study for *frowns*

Dr. Keen is cool! she's awesome. if u gonna take BIS1b, try to take her section. (altho i fall asleep in 80% of her lectures; not that her lectures are boring, but the fact that i havent slept enough the nite b4). Keen rulez!!! try it cuz u wont regret it ^_*

never take Wheelis for BIS1a, he sux!!!! ARGH. even if he gives easier midterms; he's inexperienced in providing a clear and detailed lecture on the subject. SIGH.

oh yea, just found out that i get to stay away fr davis for 3weeks!!! yay~ =D school doesnt start till 1/6!! hehehee~~~~

thx, lynn. got ur msg. it feels very warm and touched to hear fr an old friend. didnt really check if anyone signs my guestbook on a regular basis. cuz my close friends all have my icq or other means to contact. guestbook is a minor-option to them. anyhoo, thx, it means a lot to me.
20, thx la, dont worry. i'm fine. life moves and goes on. as much as i want to remember my pass-away duck, i will forget her sooner or later.
and i'm doing last minute studying for bio midterms, sigh. midterms the week before finals!! %!#$!& aint that fun?

FWD: the rose

The first day of school our professor introduced himself and challenged us
> > to get to know someone we didn't already know. I stood up to look around
> > when a gentle hand touched my shoulder. I turned around to find a
> > wrinkled,
> > little old lady beaming up at me with a smile that lit up her entire
> > being.
> > She said, "Hi handsome. My name is Rose. I'm eighty-seven years old. Can I
> > give you a hug?" I laughed and enthusiastically responded, "Of course you
> > may!" and she gave me a giant squeeze. "Why are you in college at such a
> > young, innocent age?" I asked. She jokingly replied, "I'm here to meet a
> > rich husband, get married, have a couple of kids..." "No seriously," I
> > asked. I was curious what may have motivated her to be taking on this
> > challenge at her age. "I always dreamed of having a college education and
> > now I'm getting one!" she told me. After class we walked to the student
> > union building and shared a chocolate milkshake. We became instant
> friends.
> > Every day for the next three months we would leave class together and talk
> > nonstop. I was always mesmerized listening to this "time machine" as she
> > shared her wisdom and experience with me. Over the course of the year,
> > Rose
> > became a campus icon and she easily made friends wherever she went. She
> > loved to dress up and she reveled in the attention bestowed upon her from
> > the other students. She was living it up. At the end of the semester we
> > invited Rose to speak at our football banquet. I'll never forget what she
> > taught us. She was introduced and stepped up to the podium. As she began
> > to
> > deliver her prepared speech, she dropped her three by five cards on the
> > floor. Frustrated and a little embarrassed she leaned into the microphone
> > and simply said, "I'm sorry I'm so jittery. I gave up beer for Lent and
> > this
> > whiskey is killing me! I'll never get my speech back in order so let me
> > just tell you what I know." As we laughed she cleared her throat and began,
"We do not stop playing because we are old; we grow old because we stop
> > playing. There are only four secrets to staying young, being happy, and
> > achieving success. You have to laugh and find humor every day. You've got to
> > have a dream. When you lose your dreams, you die. We have so many people
> > walking around who are dead and don't even know it! There is a huge
> > difference between growing older and growing up. If you are nineteen years
> > old and lie in bed for one full year and don't do one productive thing, you
> > will turn twenty years old. If I am eighty-seven years old and stay in bed
> > for a year and never do anything I will turn eighty-eight. Anybody can grow
> > older. That doesn't take any talent or ability. The idea is to grow up by
> > always finding the opportunity in change. Have no regrets. The elderly
> > usually don't have regrets for what we did, but rather for things we did not
> > do. The only people who fear death are those with regrets." She concluded
> > her speech by courageously singing "The Rose." She challenged each of us to
> > study the lyrics and live them out in our daily lives. At the year's end
> > Rose finished the college degree she had begun all those years ago. One week
> > after graduation Rose died peacefully in her sleep. Over two thousand
> > college students attended her funeral in tribute to the wonderful woman who
> > taught by example that it's never too late to be all you can possibly be.
> > When you finish reading this, please send this peaceful word of advice to
> > your friends and family, they'll really enjoy it! These words have been
> > passed along in loving memory of ROSE. REMEMBER, GROWING OLDER IS MANDATORY.
> > GROWING UP IS OPTIONAL. We make a Living by what we get, We make a Life by
> > what we give. God promises a safe landing, not a calm passage. If God
> > brings

the 4days zoomed by, sigh~ i had a lot of rest over the long weekend. enjoyed family time again. had a bit fight with lori on the phone but things were solved. so it's cool. had turkey and many other food with family. oh yea, found out that i've lost 3inches on my waist up till now. hehee~ it's weird how things finally go ur way when u least expected it. anyhoo, i miss my hamster already. awwww...BB....(sigh)

went shopping in downtown SF on sunday. we were all exhausted fr hrs of wandering. my leg muscle hurts~

ok, nothing much. i better study than to type away my journal here. so, good day

going home tmr! going home tmr!! ^________^ stayed up till 5am this morning to finish up a term paper for soc4. i actually liked my paper this time; kinda looking forward to a B- *keeps my fingers crossed* anyhoo, missed home while i was on a break last night. just wished to be in my mom's arms cuz i was so stuck on the paper.

oh yea, went to sing karaoke on friday with lori and terren for a total of 4hrs. my first time driving from davis to el cerrito. took 2 photo cards. hehe, the one w/terren is so cute. (and no need to make a comment on the other one la; it remains in the heart, ok)

losing duckie is like losing a child whom i've known for all of her life. i didnt cry as hard when my hamster/rabbit/chicken died. why? cuz they died due to old age or just illness. duckie must had gone through lots of pain before she died *sniff* and she's finally friendlier with us and sorta regconized our calling of her name. yeah, keeping farm animals is annoying, dirty and unusual. but i really learn a lot fr observing their everyday life and behaviors. thats sth i'll never learn fr school, friends, or internet. would i consider keeping hen or ducks or rabbits again? most likely not. i'd get killed if i insist to keep any of those again. bunnies are too still. i need a cuddly pet. (no, not a teddy) perhaps a puppy or chincilla. after playing with guinea pig, i realize how litter interaction or limited stroking i could have done on my hamsters. cuz they dont like being stroked too often or for too long!! SIGH~ bad hamster! bad!

mom called today to inform the death of my 5-6yr old duckie who died after being attacked and brutally eaten by some wild cats last nite.
>___________________<
i instantly cried and continued crying for the next 30mins. i dont know. the thought of picturing my duckie's body just frightened and saddened me. cuz i know how fat he was and how mom's descriptions of his body fit into my imagination. it's funny tho. cuz i cried like someone i know died. that kinda scared wendy. my eyes are swollen now.. and tired too. anyhoo, i feel better now.

the quarter is coming to an end very soon. realized it when i realized that i only have one more BIS1b lab left. awwww!! i really enjoyed BIS1b labs cuz they were fun. as in, really really interesting. anyway, did better on the midterms this time. will i pass BIS1a?? hmmm...*very doubtful*
i want to go home~ >_< i want to play with my hamster! (actually, denise's guinea pig is cute too. that should do it) been having sloooow connection lately;%!$!#%! pacbell! argh. hello~ i gotta download mp3s!! fell asleep in BIS1b today; noticed that there were more people who fell asleep like i did today. so i guess Keen's lecture wasn't as exciting as usual.
oooh, keep forgetting to apply to UNITRANS!! aiya.

had a unpleasant talk with lori about next yr's housing. i guess i've been happy lately (1-2months) that i seldom express my unhappiness. while reading the long-ass word problem on a practice midterm tonite, i suddenly wished that i were in my mom's arms complaining about school and all the restless nights. i cried. even when i was in lori's arms tonite, i cried. tears just keep on falling out whenever i thought of my mom. there's only 15mins left fr viewing leonid meteor shower. sigh~ midterm tmr at 9am. anyway, i still want to cry some more. i need my pillow.

thx for ur dinner woh~ soh gwa

finally listened to the other songs in yong bang's album. found a few other nice songs. the lyric of track3 touches me the most cuz it talks about loneliness. download the song here

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(translation: in the case of a couple, any fight, jealousy, doubt/suspicion, or childlish act is udnerstandable)

lori, remember la

been listening to this song at least once a day cuz it's so good; must share with ya. yong bang- track01-tears of weslleys

watched "dark water" (a jap scary movie). not bad; i actually got scared during a few suspicous scenes. anyhoo, liked the theme song by suga shikao tho. suga shikao
ƒXƒKƒVƒJƒI �‹ó download here (save target as)

spent 2hrs watching "jan dara" with lenlenium and lori. it's pretty good; quite interesting if u give more time to it. anyway, ditching fellowship over a rated-R movie is kinda, hmm, yeah. ok, so whats new for today? oh yea, xtina dropped by today; finally met her mom in person. have 2midterms next week and another paper due in 2weeks.

i need to seriously study!!! ugh.

dude, forgot what i wanted to write earlier. aw, crap. should've written when i remembered. anyway, been busy downloading movies thru kazaa lately. still need to clear some of my mp3s out of the hard drive soon. just realized how messed up my schedule for next quarter is, sigh sigh sigh. okay, i need to sleep now... having class at 10 doesnt mean that i can go through the day without sleep!! (trying very hard to remind myself of that)

keeping a guinea pig is just as troublesome as taking care of a rabbit. ofcourse, i'd rather keep a rabbit as pet than guinea pig. most rabbits are quiet and still. they let u pat without biting u! (altho i haven't been biten by denise's guinea pig yet) her guinea pig just reminds me of my rabbit >_< sigh, i guess i wont be able to keep a rabbit as pet until i get out of college. anyway, got cute pics of my hamster over the weekend~ have u guys seen them?? well, go check it out!

oh, does ur partner have a particular way in calling u? u know, such as, "honey, come and take a look at this!" or "baby, lets watch a movie",etc. well, i just realized how mine started calling me "hon hon" soon after we got together and now it became "my name". the next thing u know, she'll be calling me hon hon in front of her parents. hehee.

oh yeah, been having this strong preference for dark colored clothes lately. why? cuz it makes u look mature and serious (business-like). anyhoo, winter is perfect for dark colored clothes ^_*

just had quite a long chat with my HS lowerclassman, lina. i miss her too..haha~ wanted to call her up over the weekend (seriously), but i was "lack of motivation" to put my thoughts into actions. sorry~ anyhoo, she isn't as gullible as before. that's something new. hehee~ (thinking if it's a compliment or further insult? hehehe) well, as i said, be good, stay non-green and eat more. and thx for ur last comment on my "mushi-ness" towards my gf =P well, at least i wouldn't confess to a friend how much i miss her after she puts on her away msg~~~~ hehehe, anyway.

i enjoyed my long weekend. had fun playing with my hamster and just sticking around my mom for 2days. went shopping too ^_^ havent been able to afford to shop around previously, so yeah. it's refreshing to me. saw "saving private ryan" on TV over the weekend, pretty good; at least it's not as tragic as black hawk down. oh, finally saw the simpsons on sunday. oh, and i've been missing 3simpsons' episodes daily just becuz i dont live around bay area. they show the simpsons 3times a day on UPN44!!!!!!! >___< someone pls fix my stupid cable plug so i can watch basic TV here at davis!!! argh.

oh yeah, gotta stop yapping here. someone waiting for me.

been quite busy downloading mp3s...connection's been kinda slow yesterday but it sped up to 9k-10k!! hehhe. so happy. anyway, got no more albums that i'm sorta interested in to dl (i got most of them already). got quite good songs lately; kinda glad about that. havent heard such quality for a long time~ hehe. been forgetting what i intended to write earlier and now i have to BS about my life. sigh. oh yeah, something exciting to know: I AM FINALLY GOING HOME~ ^____^ u understand how glad and grateful i am about going home?

just read an old fd's journal, quite interesting. that leads me to thinking about why isnt mine as fascinating? mine has become boring~ >_< anyway. whats new? nada. oh yea, found a few really really cute hamster pics. they are so adorable!! everyone went "awww" as i showed them the pics except wendy who screamed. o_o looking at those pics just melts me away~ i'm serious. i gotta stop looking at them ^^||
click here for pics courtesy to www.petshub.com

Congratulations, you're New Orleans, the wild city.
What US city are you? Take the quiz by Girlwithagun.

watched 3movies over the weekend. Mighty Baby, Lan Yu and My left eye sees ghost. Lan Yu and "my left eye sees ghost" are the better ones. Lan Yu is a recent gay film based upon an online fiction. pretty good. i'd recommend them ^_* oh yeah, hey, 20, should check out Lai Yu. it's as interesting as Bishonen. need a copy?

yes~ finally am done with my second set of midterms ^_^ got average on my first set, but oh well. Lori: study hard la.
it's such a relief to know that i have no midterms in 2weeks (cuz i'll have 3-4 within a week!!) >_< okay, so i gotta study really hard b4 it's too late like how it was last week. SIGH. i suddenly felt so bad for screwing my time and school. i really think i should cut back half of the time i spend on socializing. perhaps eating dinner at home will help. spending too much time on everything else except reviewing lecture notes and text. ARGH~ i really want at least a B for BIS1b (since there's little hope in obtaining that fr BIS1a). i shall stop relying on the sure A+ i'd get for CHN-BL01 to even out my GPA. aiya, college. a sudden thought went thru my mind today during class: could i really finish college? then why am i struggling with lower-division classes????????

it's funny how i'm already thinking about whom to room with and where to live for next academic year. getting along quite smoothly with wendy. except the fact that she eats more cough drops now than usual (fr screaming too hard). anyway, got a midterm to study for...why am i not studying? sigh.

oh yeah, let me do a feedback on Stream of Praise's worship celebration last friday. there were several moments when i wanted to cry (about to)...altho i wiped away my tears. why? i dont know... was really touched and it made me think back of what i went through ever since last yr. it's just a really good relief. havent cried for a long time. saw familiar faces fr the band...was quite happy to see them again, too bad they dont know me at all. (how? when there's more than 200 ppl they see that nite and that they do worldwide tour concerts every year??!!) anyway....

drove xtina to sac today to get her a phone. throat hurts fr taking in all those monosodium in the viet noodle. sucshhh.
oh yeah, xtina still calls me roomie in her journal..hahah~ oooh, got a solid C on bio1b midterm ^___^ yes!! without much studying..hehehhehe

wanted to update my journal over the weekend when i was home, but got lazy to even turn on the comp and sign onto aol. anyhoo, missed home. didnt eat a lot but ok.. spent most of my time with my mom. got a lot of necessities this time. again, had to wisely pack everything within a limited range of room. sigh. got a lot more canned food this time so i wont starve during lunch like i did in the past few weeks. bro laughed at me cuz i didnt grow and learn how to be independent (taking care of myself and cooking for myself) cuz my friends and wendy do all the cooking for me. hmm, true. oh yea, picked my very last check from tapioca express /. .\ felt a sense of sadness...oh well~ >.< altho all of them said i look a lot skinnier =P and i got paid more than what i expected/underestimated ^o^ kekekeke~

went to chinatown and el cerrito to buy food in the afternoon-evening. so then i can finally cook for my friends (hopefully).

got kinda pissed off cuz housemate's fd slept in my bed while i was gone for the weekend without my consent at all and how housemate always left a lot of hair in the bathtub. but the anger died away as i took the shower and calmed. SIGH. ppl with long hair. should have kept a better practice of ur personal hygiene and the overall cleanness of the bathroom!!! hate being maid-like taking care of others' carelessness and touching someone else's protein (by a large amount) ~ *shivers*

oh yea, got a handmade scarf fr lori~ ^_^ fan kiu mucho (spanish: a lot)~

good nite/morning.

good morning~ why am i up so early? cuz i'm rushing through a paper for soc4!! hahaa~ yes, it's due tmr. =P why else would i stay up if it's not due tmr?

gonna go home on fri afternoon!! can't wait can't wait! cuz i've been stranded in davis for too long (altho i had fun)...but still... wanna go home, go bug my mom, bring back a few more neccessities, bring back my paycheck fr tapioca express, and to see my hamsters ^_^ awww, such a meaningful weekend~ (the world isnt as gloomy after me done with my midterms for this week, yay~)

oh yeah, got 99.5% on my first chinese midterm~ *chuckles* (for terren: kekekek)

Dear friends:

A woman asked her coworker, "What is it like to be a Christian?"

The coworker replied, "It is like being a pumpkin. God picks you from
the
patch, brings you in, and washes all the dirt off of you. Then he cuts
off
the top and scoops out all the yucky stuff. He removes the seeds of
doubt,
hate, and greed, and then he carves you a new smiling face and puts his
light inside of you to shine for all the world to see."

If you have received Jesus as your Savior and Lord, you have been made
into a new person. 2 Corinthians 5:17 says, "Therefore, if anyone is in
Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!" (sls)

May God bless you and have a wonderful day!

time to bug ur friends:
http://media.smilepop.com/smilepop/flash/10_2002/sept02-smilepop-bugseren2.swf

found a new source of energy in a young singer's voice and singing style. #7 Linda. song title: concert in my own closet. her MTV is pretty cute; very very unique. http://98.to/sheselina the lyric talks about how enthusiastic about love and the guy she likes,etc. nice dance too.

stella wong's new song-love express. pretty good. u can also dl it off http://98.to/sheselina somehow, stella looks cuter and maturer than b4.

Dear Friends,

Have you heard of Stream of Priase? This is a group that sings great worship songs. Most of you probably thinks "oh, Christian stuff." Well, I personally think it's not just some Christian stuff, it's also makes you feel like listen to rock music from the radio station. So I invited all of you to join us and find out if it's true from what I told you and please come to this event and get the feeling of joy. They only stay for two days(10/25, 10/26). Hope to see you all there. If you have questions, please give me a call. Don't miss out. :) Hope to see you there.

http://www.sop.org

10/25/02 8:00PM & 10/26/02 7:30PM at Chinese Agape Vineyard Christian Fellowship
1255 Pedro St.
San Jose, CA 95126
*Child care provided

Directions:

>From San Jose-
Bear Right to take the US-101 NORTH ramp towards SAN FRANCISCO 0.4
Merge on US-101 NORTH 0.5
Take the I-280/I-680 exit towards DOWNTOWN SAN JOSE/SACRAMENTO 0.7
Continue on I-280 NORTH RAMP towards DOWNTOWN SAN JOSE 0.7
Merge on I-280 NORTH 3.1
Take the RACE STREET/SOUTHWEST EXPWY exit 0.3
Turn Left on RACE ST 0.2
Turn Left on PEDRO ST

From San Francisco-
Merge on US-101 SOUTH 34.7
Take the CA-85 SOUTH exit towards CUPERTINO/SANTA CRUZ 0.2
Merge on CA-85 SOUTH 4.9
Take the I-280 exit towards SAN FRANCISCO/SAN JOSE 0.1
Continue on I-280 SOUTH RAMP towards SAN JOSE 0.9
Merge on I-280 SOUTH 7.2
Take the MERIDIAN AVENUE exit 0.5
Continue on MERIDIAN AVE 0.2
Turn Left on FRUITDALE AVE 0.2
Turn Left on RACE ST 0.1
Turn Right on PEDRO ST

From East Bay-
Take the I-880 SOUTH ramp towards SAN JOSE 0.1
Merge on I-880 SOUTH 38.9
Take the CA-82 exit towards THE ALAMEDA/SANTA CLARA 0.2
Turn Left on THE ALAMEDA 1.1
Bear Right on RACE ST 1.3
Turn Left on PEDRO ST

³ÐÖZ


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gone over another difficult time in our relationship. thats actually quite controversial cuz it's not too big of a deal from another perspective. but i was a bit pissed off at the timing. 2hrs of study time devoted to talking our problems out. well, i guess i wasnt in a studying mood anyway. writing my feelings here instead of expressing them in public or to others doesn't correlate to "not willing to share". whenever i type up my journal, it's like talking to my own image or my inner self. talking it out to myself is like recognizing/accepting diff events/feelings/changes. i've grown to be gentler to u cuz u reminded me of how to balance my schedule according to its priority. i'm trying my best to satisfy my own expectation, family's and others'. not saying that u are giving me pressure. but the fact that this is part of my own expectations. ok, wendy sleeping. so should i. shhh

oh yeah, got email from Lynn. ^_______^ altho it's a sharing of fwd mail, it's such a relief to me.

got another simpson's poster at walmart last friday ^.^ there are 2 other ones, but i dont want to scare wendy or give her a wrong impression of how crazy i am over simpsons. anyway, i'll definitely check out posters at every walmart's from now on (when i have a chance to make a visit). have bio midterm tmr. i'm still downloading and chatting with xtina on aim. well, i hardly see that girl online anymore! nor on campus. atho we live only 2blocks away..hmm, yeah. hehee, she just called me a great ex-roomie. AWWWW.

staying this weekend to catch up on other classes (3 out of 4). aiya! what have i been doing??? i'm pretty ready to do bad on my midterm tmr. tamagochi.

oh yeah, i now weight 102-103lbs. muahaha~ (even xtina weights more than i do)

everytime when i recalled the memory of my last few months of dorm life, it hurts when i think of the way i treat my roommate. altho there's a lot of happy moments when i was with other ppl; i guess she'd be hurt if she knew why wasnt i spend as much time with her in the last week of school. i really hate myself everytime i think of roomie and our last week of school. it's very funny how i knew the bond between is kind of like a "mutual friendship with love". sometime, she's like my family. it's just very very strange. i dont even know what it is that's between us.

went to vacaville with lori, wendy and xtina on friday. had so much fun making noises with my shoes at the stores. hahaah~ anyway, everyone was tired after shopping. havent seen xtina for so long (as in spending time with her). i was unusually hyper and naughty. they kept saying that they couldnt stand me but they laughed with/at me ^_^ oh, and i had fun watching "who's line is it?" at xtina's. oh, wendy kicked me as i tried to scare her in the dark without knowing that she knew kickboxing!!!! aiya.

went to SF on saturday with lori and terren. had the greatest jap food with them. it's so yummy. for the first time that i agreed to the price according to the quality of the food there. hehe, thx, honey terren. the place is called the "katana ya" on 5th-6th and judah. fell asleep at lori's till 3am and realized wendy expected to see me at home. so i insisted to go back to my apartment. if my act didn't please u, i'm sorry. i understand i should've spent time taking care of u since u are sick. did i go home all the other time? (altho i didnt go back mainly cuz i was too sleepy) i really thought wendy'd be hella worried about me, or else would i have to walk so unsteadily late at nite dragging my tired body back to my own place?

i love u, but why is this keep reoccuring? ...............................................................

http://hk.geocities.com/dreamdreamhouse/story5.htm

met ex-roomie this week on campus. haha, she missed me cuz i opened my arms to her just for fun. but she really hugged me. awww~ *sniffs* then i saw her twice today. hehee, i made her hug me this time. and i also stole her candies and she let me cuz she was already late for class. anyway, i just totally missed the time picking on her, talking about drama series/songs/lyrics, sharing our everyday events, complaining to each other about various stuff, bugging her every once in a while (most likely every 5-15mins), tickling her at least twice everyday, going to DC everyday, saying "aw, sweetie pie, u're home~" and "goodnite, mwah mwah mwah", etc. ((hehhe)) too many heart-warming moments captured in my head everytime i think of our dorm life.

midterm next tues and next next monday. then i'll have more midterms the following weeks. aiya, i'm SO BEHIND in all of my classes. even chinese!! cuz i returned the freakin' book and found a better deal on line, however, the estimated shipment arrival is within a month!!! by then, i'd only need the book for my finals. ai. been too busy lately. spending way too much time else where (physically and mentally).

oh, i got my RioVolt SP90 today ^.^ just tested it too. ho ho ho. 177mp3s on a data CD.

this is what i wrote last nite but the internet died on me.

******sorry, guys. havent updated for qutie a while, eh? (now that i noticed, hehee) anyhoo, been lazy ma~ can't blame me. and i'm still adjusting life back to school. SIGH. just went home this weekend and brough back a lot of stuff that i forgot to bring earlier. went to Ikea and got a desk lamp. really wanted the big, comfy sheep skin, but not for $19.99. i'll wait till the supply of sheep skins goes up (price would then fall =P ) anyway, i have never seen the back trunk of a camry could be so packed and roomless/gap-less. i'm so serious. then we went grocery shopping and had to put everything in the back seats. but i had fun. oh, took photo cards with lori, honey terren, and wendy at el cerritos. pretty nice ones ^_* so, how's everyone? Lynn? 20? Ada? Lina? (laura?) (if i am really more important than what i thought i am, please let me know that u are also reading my journal and whose name isnt listed above. *i'm sorry*)

didnt have enough sleep last nite. sleepy sleepy sleepy.

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I FINALLY GOT INTO BIS1B!!!!! IT'S SUCH A RELIEF (altho it's sad to know that there are many many unfortunate ones) anyhoo, played with frozen fruit flies for hrs during lab. they are disgusting. was already seriously thinking about taking math21A. hmm..oh well. maybe it's God who listened to my prayers.

i passed my chinese placement exam for chinese1 for bilinguals. my fd and I had to pretend we suck at chinese. hehee. and stupid wendy was laughing at my hw for chinese class cuz they were just simple simple characters. i never see her laugh so hard ^^||| gosh. and oh, i, uh, have about 150pages to do for both of my bio classes ^^|| hmm...yeah. aiya.

i wanna go home. i miss my hamsters. i need my shower gel; dont want to use a bar soap anymore. i want my winter clothes and sweaters. screw welcome nite?

i'm very very glad and relieved to realize how well i get along with wendy. u know, it's weird how i find out more about her days after days. not that i'm interested in her or anything. but i feel closer to her than b4.

i thought i'd lose her tonite. why do i always create insecurity for her?

refunded $270 worth of books today ^o^ yay~~~ why? cuz i found better deals online or elsewhere and i'm sharing books with fds. *chuckles* i was so happy cuz 1) didnt have to carry all those books to my other classes; thank god there's no line for the books refund. 2) saved quite a lot of $$. ((3. the fact that i purchased a Rio CD/CDR player with the order of my books *chuckles*))

stupid BIS1b!!!!! i wanna take math 21A now and if possible, i wanna change my major.

sorry, por. i was doing a lot of personal thinking over school/career/future lately ever since the fear and worries that i wont get into BIS1b hit me. thats why i'd ignore u cuz those things were bothering me. and the fact that we are too behind on soc4 and our other classes. i dont want what happened in fall01 to happen again this quarter. i knew i could do better than straight C's.

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omg, school is gonna have the "Red Dragon" on thurs nite. i'll definitely gonna go. awesome awesome hannibal. i'm still waitlisted for BIS1b!!!!!!! i'm already thinking about taking other class or just taking 3 this quarter (more downloading time for me). i've been kicking way too hard. i need more personal time to just download mp3s and study a few pages and just chill or surf.

went to church today and also fellowship on fri nite. had gay guest speakers for sunday school today. one of them kept staring at me which made me uncomfortable yet i looked straight at his eyes without avoiding eye contact. he is pretty cute and somehow i wish my Alex was there to turn him on (it's such an evil idea cuz the guest speaker obviously walked out of homosexuality sucessfully)

saw many familiar faces on campus last week. i'm still not motivated to study hard. i guess everyone isn't.

have many pics on my wall now..^_^ got dorm pic, hamsters, rabbit, ken chu, F4, nic and a pic of me and joey. another nic's poster and a new simpsons' poster on the wall. dunno, just never have any chances to put them up in my own room at home.. ken's pic is so hot...gosh, it's like he's staring at me..hahaha~ (yes, i'm still sane)

oh, praise the Lord that we finally got our router working. thx to ngan's bro.

from now on, i wanna be more active in church activities.

school finally started. davis is so hot. and i keep on missing buses too~ got a few reading assignments to do; gotta return 4books; go grocery shopping. went to student fellowship tonite; volunteered to set up tables and pass on flyers on monday at MU. i wanna stay for the welcome nite on next fri nite (so i can help out and to check out freshman)

still couldnt get our DSL router going...sigh~

been kicking very hard these days cuz we have nothing to do. and davis is so hot. anyway, i like my townhouse. furnitures are all "usable". should be getting my DSL soon, then i'll have something to do other than homeworks and studying. my fds and I were so bored in these few days. we've been discussing what we could do for the rest of the day everyday. sigh. anyway, life here has been good.

wendy seems pretty nice and friendly. she's very diff fr all the other type of ppl i've known of. i dont know how to categorize her. oh well, categorizing ur friends is bad anyway ^^|||

it's cute to see how many asians (esp. malaysians/singaporean) called it "hokkien". but it's really Fu-Jian. anyway, it's another good or bad way about having diff chinese dialogues.

oh oh oh, my home seems so warm now after ngan and phuong sorta settled everything in the kitchen and bathrooms. our home looks so sweet. hehee. wendy and I are still working on unpacking ^^||

yesterday was my last day at tap *sniffs* yeah and i tripped twice b4 leaving the store which gave my other two co-workers a lifetime memory of me >_< AI.
anyhoo, i'm now at davis. still have to unpack everything. okay, thats it for now. buh bye

bloggers has died on me for several days till now and sorry for the inconvenience (since all of u desperately want to know what goes on in my life =p hehheeh)

so, me back in davis on monday. i originally planned to go back on tues or wed..but then, yeah, me going back early for a person and to fulfill her wish. i'm very touched by how long she's been waiting for school to begin... being her special someone, i have the responsibility to be understanding. there's no standard or a guideline for people in love to follow; but i really feel that she deserves to be treated better. i'll still try my best to not put myself in the center all the time.

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been dealing with our new apartment in davis lately. so so annoying. i dont understand how hard it is to call for DSL service and to buy a router?? how hard could it be when i already settled the house rent, phone bill, n electricity bill? i'm only ur housemate, not ur mom. i finally calculated the most fair way in dividing our house rent. somehow i suddenly realized that i shouldnt be on wendy's side on this. so things are easier to settle now. sigh of relief.

there's many thoughts and ideas that pop up in my head over the weekend (altho i couldnt recall any of those =D)

oh, read 3fictions this weekend cuz i was too bored. couldnt sleep so i read another fiction in 2hrs. ^_^ i never time myself on reading but 2hrs is a good result. received lori's voice msg yesterday after i got off work. was really surprised and happy. anyhoo, we've been thru many doubts and uncertainties about us. i wanted some time to be alone. so i guess the yosemite trip is a nice set-up. it gives us plenty yet not excessive time to deal with our personal feelings or thoughts. i felt a lot closer with my parents over this weekend since i had nothing to do or no phone calls to make so i basically bugged my mom when i was bored ^_* i hope u enjoy the trip and that it was more fun than how u expected it would turn out to be.

hehe, i hate school. but i guess i've gotten enough rest and fun over the summer. honestly, i've never enjoyed my summer vacation as much as this yr's. oh great, still have to go to great america b4 school starts. hrm.

i had a dream about dorm. but there were only me and xtina. and our dorm and bathroom seemed so creepy and quiet. felt like i was in jail or sth. or is it really? =P

hmm, watched 4hrs of tape today. just realized that i've seen "side beat" cuz the plot seems very familiar. so yeah, but i'm still watching it cuz of flora and that i couldnt recall the ending of this drama series. today is so boring. i have no one to talk with on the phone. i should really turn off my cell phone.=P anyway, my weekend will be better cuz i'll be working. milk tea ^.^ oh, and lets welcome my new roommate-wendy. (no wendy lee, no thx)

ok, moved a lot of stuff to my apartment today. gonna have a new roommate. sorry, roomie, i was gonna be loyal to u, but but but! things happen. hahaha~ anyway, still discussing stuff over housing 4ppl under my roof or not.

lori is going to yosemite for the weekend with san san and eric-san. yosemite is a nice place. last time i went there was like 5+yrs ago. oh, and i just realized that i've been wearing the same glasses for 3yrs. omg. time passes by so fast. too fast. i still remembered this viet teacher i had during middle school. she's ok-looking but then she's really really nice to us. too bad that i lost contact with her or else i'd really love to let her know that i'm in college now! ^^ the 7th grader who was in her ESL class for 2yrs. thx, ms. ho. thuy ho.

burning flame II is alright. i'm halfway done. and i dont have the rest of the tapes!!! argh. fine, i'll move onto "side beat" by flora chan!! yeah.

been getting up early lately; i could no longer get up after 12noon!! sigh~ i'm sighing cuz my biological clock is adjusted. anyway, i want to take a nap now.

finished a chinese fiction in 12hrs. read for an hour before bed and another hr today. it's good. true and realistic. anyway, oh yea, moving on thursday. my room would be empty afterwards, hahaa. been checking out good deals at bestbuy lately. havent seen any tho. kinda want to buy a new CD player b4 i have to work hard for school again. hmmm.

i forgot what i originally wanted to write for today, but oh well. watched part of the wedding planner. wasnt as good and sweet as i thought. SIGH. oh and watched the lord of the rings at last. really nice settings and unique personalities in each character. worked 6days this week. got no time to do my own stuff. must get an eye exam before i go back to davis and have no time for that kinda thing.

oh oh, went to church so woke up at 8 today. i dont know. satan was there all the time trying to make me go back to sleep instead of attending sunday service. THAT BASTARD! he almost got me, thats why. i'm glad i didnt cuz i would have missed such a great message during sunday school. i've always love the sunday school at my bro's church instead of Davis'. it's just so much better and deeper. ok, enough about this. sigh, i miss lynn. she sent me a paper cup and a napkin with my name "sun" on them by chance. i was very touched even though it's such a silly surprise ^.^ but i really dont know what to do with the cup and the napkin now. well, they came fr singapore and should be considered "legal migrants" =P anyhoo, hope things are fine over there, lynn.

hehe, been having milktea, favored green tea at work... tap has a new flavor: pineapple (snow bubble or icy). so i made a pineapple green tea for myself, it was actually good. hahaa~ it tastes funny after i added "green apple" with it tho =p

oohh yes, must share the joke. this mexican co-worker who works in the kitchen at tap asked me if i had a boyfriend? so i said no. and she asked me if i had a husband. i was like, "????????!!!!!!!!!" i had to say no or else she'd think i'm engaged or something. it's just so cute of her!! she is a really really friendly woman; so i was always nice to her too. so sad that i cant use my spanish with her..haha~

wasnt on the phone as much today. got lots of time to do whatever i could think of. sorta packed a little more for school. even panicked at a spider that came out of my stuff. my family was too into the movies they were watching, didnt come to help!! >_< sigh, so yeah, so i put an end to its life. went online, feel like working on my writing. wrote like 5lines, haha~ =P anyway, then read 3 online fictions. THEY ARE SO TOUCHING!! *sniff* i seriously wanted to cry, sigh. the plot was slow yet u know it has a sad ending; so all those contribute to an even more depressing mood for the story. SIGH. oh, btw, those are love stories about les.

signs of aging: when u start to drive at or below the speed limit ^^|||

things to do: must write a check for my apartment; get an eye exam; continue packing; clean up my room b4 i leave; have about 2weeks left of work b4 i return to be a full-time student. sigh. oh, and remind my housemates to pay the rents for october. SIGH.

happy birthday

it's weird how.. we still read a fd's journal even tho we talk shit about her everyday. haha, i bet u our fd doesnt know that we really care for her so much. (not sure if we are caring in a positive or negative way tho) anyways, departing or breaking up is really a part of life.
lori, just like the song i told u about, "there's no sweet without the taste of bitterness; there's no warmth without the wind." sorry about crushing ur hope on spending our first weekend together without much consideration on how much u've been looking forward to it. hmmm, i'll give it another thought ba. u know, i've always been considerate to the other person's feeling except to u. sigh.

oh, taking 19units in fall!! hahaha, i'm sure this is the only time in which i broke my record. and i'm not very worried about passing all of my classes. just watched domestic disturbance. it's alright.

never been so exhausted and tired after working night shift. my co-workers kept whining that they wanted to go home since 6pm! ^^|||

oh yeah, also went to chinatown earlier yesterday to visit an elderly and lori. it was way too hot yesterday. felt sick after i got home too.

so tired fr work today. hehe, but it's pay day today ^0^ well, ofcourse i wont spend it all cuz i feel like saving it..(*sniff* since i dont get allowance anymore, sigh) was just packing some clothes that i'm gonna drop off on thurs; okay, i'm gonna be SUPER picky on purchasing my clothes fr now on. VERY PICKY. yes. i can survive wearing diff t-shirt/tank everyday for at least 6months without doing laundry. i'm just estimating (it could be less/greater than that) >_<

anyway, going to SF tmr to visit my mom's HS teacher. gonna meet up with lori maybe for a sec. it's her bday this fri...hrm..i probably wont drive up on sat but..i think i'll make it up some other time during fall quarter. oh yeah, she replaces my "lifetime job" leeching mp3s off the web. good job! hehe, it's almost 3months since we got together. it seems pretty long cuz it's summer. anyway, i feel so much like a little kid when i have school. hrm, like now, when i talk to u on the phone, i feel more adult-like. it's like, i come home fr work and i'd tell u things happened today,etc. instead of sharing comments about boring classes of the day or "there's a sale at the bookstore!". anyway, feel so much "fobbier" and "more ghetto" when i hang out in SJ. ^^|| no offense tho. *whispers "sorry"*

yay~ working 5days this week ^^ it's better than wasting my time at home. ooooooooh, my pass2 is on tuesday. MUST REMEMBER!

yay~ i'm actually proud of myself for sleeping for only 9hrs today.yes! well, 9hrs seem a lot but.. my body has gotten used to sleeping 9+ hrs everyday. >_< so yeah, it's about time for me to sleep less fr now on; sigh, back to sleeping for 7hrs again. school=shivers. u know, i havent had a milk tea for 5days and i already crave for it ^^||| it's all carrie's fault for mentioning the snacks at tap! =P anyway, working tmr and sunday. then wed. oh, and, i wont have the car fr now on cuz mom needs it mon-fri. sigh.

whoops. just realized that my pass2 is on tues instead of thurs.

hmmm, i think i better go visit feuy and her 1month-old baby. ok, time to reply some emails that i've ignore for weeks. hmm, getting bored here. time for another movie. sudden crave for viet springrolls and pho. i want tung kee's.

stood by a counter in greatmall for 2-3hrs today. so boring~ anyway, i missed work again!!!! argh. thank god my co-worker didnt mind ^^||| hmm, or does she? =P too lazy to go online at all lately. sorry for not replying. i'd rather talk to u on the phone. my future roommate asked me if establishing local phone service is really necessary if we all have a cell phone? BLAH!!!!! who'd be using the phone most of the time? duh! %!#$#!@ god, i really can't wait to living with them.

watched 4hrs of burning flame II and "100% feel I". yay~ i didnt do anything at all beside watching movies.

stayed till 3 last nite to finish up a fiction. it was good. i almost cried for the characters again ^^||| anyway, glad that i finally finished it. oh yea, today's mom's bday according the lunar calendar. i slipped a red envelop next to her bed ^^ i gave her most of what i earned so far during summer. she thought it was my bro, hehee, i didnt confess until she complained about how the bills seemed old. hehee.

went out and had dinner with kitty, lori, kelly, sam and the philipino group fr M. we were all starving. but i was hella full after dinner.anyhoo, san jose has no life at nite. well, i guess that kinda applies to many parts of the states. not interested in clubbing, singing karaoke, getting a drink,etc. since i'm sure i'll get a lot of chances to sing karaoke once school starts. i miss ro..altho she wont miss singing for a while now..hehe..

anyway, it's good to see kitty, lori and kelly again. saw so many ppl fr M. thats very very strange. and, uh, i hope the ride fr davis to SJ didnt kill u guys la... hmm, hehee, hello, ms. shoulder.

i was being such a jerk for the past few days. i'm sorry. but thats me.

moving back to davis on 9/12; have like 2-3weeks to re-pack (!!!)
((((((((((AIYA))))))))))) back to school again *sniffs* altho taking 2bio classes shall not kill me as much as what chem did. it should be kinda fun. except that i couldnt get away fr the scene of me sitting for 2-3hrs in chem lecture hall. what should i take for my 4th class ne? soc 4? (ever since taking summer school at foothill, i dont want to take any more of GE in UCD) anyway, soc 4 is a good alternative. altho i'm kinda worried that i may have to take care of all the reading assignments for the class even when i have several of my fds taking it with me. hmmmm~

plan to join joey's bible study group this thurs nite. thats why i switched shift with my co-worker.

couldnt get up for church yesterday (i'm sorry) so i promised to read Book of Genesis again. i was being sly cuz it's short. anyhoo, i should start reading Matthew. sigh, so many enriching tasks i planned to accomplish over the summer, but i had done very little of them. even my story writing. i have a feeling that i'd have to set it aside for another yr till my next summer. sorry woh, SnOwY, hehee, keep yelling at me in my guestbook to "motivate" me la~

oh yeah, Signs was okay. i wasnt very much into the movie. altho the Ring seems to be better and more interesting, i'm in no mood for scary movies yet. wait till halloween ^.^

finally met up with her after 2weeks of "separation" =P anyways, was really tired yesterday. like i was being super lazy lately; sorry that i was way too quiet. had fun shopping; anyways, talked till 2-3am and i slept at 4am. woke up at 11 and went straight to work. there was this old lady who bought milk tea and asked if i were a guy or a girl. my co-worker laughed cuz she just told me that she mistakened me as a boy a few times. i just smiled. i was so bored at work. it seemed longer than 5.5hrs. ok, i gotta go eat now...so hungry.

was being moody last nite. somehow i was mad about sth. thank god that feeling is gone. read "hugging a TB on a bed" last nite till 2. i almost cried again; well, i was so into the story cuz it's a story about my world. even if it's a fiction. it's funny how the TB seems, dresses and appears nearly perfect in the fiction. i'm interested in her ^_* she must be hot.

u know, what's been bothering me is my self-centered attitude towards love (part of my attitude la). u can say that people are still very "chin", if they get a lot of one thing, they'd become wasteful of it. i know i receive lots of love fr you and i started to take it for granted. even tho i knew i'm supposed to be appreciative of it. u know, sometimes, i feel that i wasnt treating u nicely on the phone,etc. becuz of my stupid attitude. (well, now, dont worry yet; it's no big deal, i'm just here to share my thoughts with u) after thinking and reading that chinese fiction, i think i should start loving u with all my heart; cuz it's the only way i can truly express my feelings without any holding back of my love. perhaps it's the not being able to see each other. haha, sorry if this sorta scares u again. yeah, see how many times i've doubts about me or us that make u worried and scared? sigh. i'm such a kid.

watched bishonen by daniel wu and fung tak lun. it's a story about a few hot gay men and who daniel really loved among all his romances. daniel's got 6pack!! yes yes, i check out guys too.

sorta got in a fight with mom and bro just now. about relationship. i always envy how my mom takes my bro's relationship so "understandably" which is so not her. she finally told me that it's my oldest bro who told her to change her perspective. i was arguing with her wanting to make sure she'll do the same if that happens to me. my bro joined our conversation, hehee, since we were talking about him, the conversation ended real soon. anyhoo, i'm gonna have to get back to my mom on "nowadays people can love anyone freely". altho i still dont feel like coming out to her. oh yeah, she thought that i was trying to hint to her that i'm as wild as nowadays' radical teenagers. she thought that i'm willing to have physical relationship with the one i love (assuming a guy) and that wont matter to me. so she was really upset for a moment. hehee........sigh. yeah, why did i even giggle before i sigh? mom still doesnt get it and i thought she almost got it at a point, how will there be a guy who's gonna be interested in a tomboyish girl like me? c'mon. mom, common sense. u know, after moving back fr dorm, my family became a bit distant to me. perhaps due to the fact that i missed a year full of family activities and updates on every family member. it feels diff to be home. ofcourse i still hate the way i live during school year. it sucks. and whenever i get to be home, i always have to rush doing things over the weekend. life could be so much easier if i picked SJSU. but i wouldnt get all the freedom i get now. i mean, there's no way that my family wont find out about my relationship if i go home everyday. do i sound like i'm depressed? well, i'm too lazy to put up an expression on my face now; i always do this. ok, i think i'll go watch some movies.

finally watched "time and tide" by nicholas tse and wu bai(fr taiwan). it's a pretty good movie. actions, love, and nic. nic looks so fine in it.. hahaha =P

and saw "The Wesley's mysterious file" by andy lau. it gets boring since the story is kinda extraordinary. but i'm surprised how "wong jim" could present wesley's scientific idea well in a visual way. very very diff fr ordinary movies cuz u have to think of the characters as fictional characters. kwan chi lam still looks cute in it. so is Su Chi.

was exhausted fr 8hrs of work last nite. i was never tired at work except last nite. one of my co-workers reminded me that the milktea,etc are fattening.. hrm...now i really have to give a second thought to drinking it during work. but but but, milk tea tastes so good tho~ Kiwi icy is good too *chuckles* so is Kiwi flavored green tea.

a distant fd finally ended her relationship that i didnt have much hope for. anyway, sick of her case since it's been my topic for a long while =P

i want to go to vancouver or hk now.. i want to buy CD and VCD again!!! sigh. downloading mp3s is the most important motivation/reason for me to get DSL for my apartment ne!! anyway, i think i should stop mentioning about my illegal habit =P

why doesnt ken chu get as much attention as the other members in F4?!!!!! i really feel like telling ken ken that he is loved by his fans. (he is still kitty's man la~ i just want to show some support ji ma~)

been having trouble falling asleep lately..thats why i'd rather talk on the phone till 2-3am and sleep by 4. mom always yells at me for getting up between 1-2pm everyday; what she doesnt know is when i usually fall asleep the nite b4 ^.^ i wonder how lynn is now...i just wanna say that i miss her and want to wish her all the best and i'll assume that she is happy with her life and ppl around her ^_^

saw so many TBs while i worked lately; we dont even exchange looks, haha..yeah, i guess we may feel competition having each other's presence. anyway, i can already say that i'll miss some ppl fr tapioca express; hrm...i wish that i should've applied there earlier in my life. working till closing tmr.

i finally saw the silence of the lamb and the hannibal. it's good!!! honestly, i grew to love hannibal (to the point where i was willing to be his victim). anyways, glad that hannibal is only a fictional character (so pls dont kill me). then i've been enjoying my summer (staying home, working, playing with my hamsters, talking on the phone late at nite). u know, i started to like my work place... i only have like a month left too. sigh.

went out with lina yesterday for starbucks. she still fell for my insulting..hehee..thats one thing that will never change about her ^_* oh yeah, i better go visit feuy and her newborn...it's been a long while from when i promised to meet her on ^^||| okay, gotta call up PG&E for electricity for my apartment too. sigh. why dont my new roommates ever do this kinda thing??? u know, i really want to see how they will have to take care of themselves next next yr when i become someone else's roommate.

k, worked 3days in a row. got to know my co-workers pretty well in these nites ^.^ thats a very cool thing since i finally felt like i'm their friend. anyhoo, had a long long chat with her last nite till 3. i felt really bad for what happened. i finally realized what she's really going through for me. i'm sorry. is it really worth all her effort? i guess it's not for anyone's judgement now. it's a matter of significance/priorities. knowing more about what u are really going through only makes me cherish you and what u do for me even more; not giving u up after all our effort.

ok, got many bruises on my leg and even my head ^^|| i'm sure the sore-ness will arrive tmr.. it's not here yet..but it will! >_< oh well. got home at like 1something. terren, kitty and lori got to see my hamster and my room ^.^ my place is a mess..but oh well. my living room is so hk-ish, isnt it? u know how many typical homes in hk are all stuffed? =P

been trying to download songs!!!!! argh. i wanna go back to davis now. i want my DSL~ >_< stupid boxup!

so there goes my 5-day vacation in davis. time to go home and return to family life. working tmr and saturday. gonna go help unloading cargos for kitty babe again...get to see terren too ^^ havent seen that chick for a long time. hehee, wait for my whining tmr about how sore i'll get =D take care la, my fds at home and in davis.

oh yeah, finally got to meet up with yoyo too ^^ and jacked sammi's CD fr her..hehee~ anyways, it was so nice of u la.. have a safe ride home. perhaps i'll hop onto ur car for a ride to davis again.

hehe, i'm in davis already. life here is so relaxing. i miss how i can kick back and be worryfree at all. too scared to go back to school >_< taking 4classes at once seems hard again. anyway, she made soup for me tonite. it was good after i added a bit of salt. she felt really bad about making it so flavorless tho.. i really wanted to tell her: "u know how u always say u appreciate every little thing i do? it's vice versa too." knowing that the soup is made espeically for me is already a really really high honor. maybe the soup doesnt taste as good as how it's supposed to be. it's ok. it's pretty good ah~there's plenty of chances for u to show me the best soup u can make. ^_^

woke up late for church today but made it there on time. have a hard time walking, bending, laughing, holding stuff, sitting down, (u name it)... my body is way sorer than yesterday >_< argh. i walk kinda funny today too ^^|| oh well. going back to davis in 1-2hrs...getting a ride fr yoyo tonite. i took a 2-hr nap since i'll have to stay up to watch ghost movie with fds tonite. dont think i'll sleep till 4am. sigh.

so many ppl going back to hk~ kinda jealous =P

went to chinatown with lori and visited kitty on our way to dinner. however, we decided to stay and help unload all the cargos for kitty. that took us 4hrs ^^|||| hehee, everyone is sore today. u can still hear me groan whenever i kneel down =P anyway, that was a different experience. sorta feel very sorry for those who must make a living with their physical strength. glad that my parents dont have a store too. got home at 1am. got so many bruises ^^|||| anyway, was very worried for her since she's the only one facing all those problems. i'm sorry. maybe it'd have been better if nothing happens; altho u will think that u are glad things happen and wont regret it. thx. it's very amazing to see how determined u are.

stupid me didnt read our working schedule carefully and caused a co-worker of mine took over my shift for me after hers. i'm so sorry~ >_< i felt so bad after they called.thank god i'm still new and the co-worker seemed to like me a lot. gonna go stay in davis for 4-5days. working on fri and sat. i miss tapioca express' crispy chicken/squit!!!!! they are so yummy~ and i get to eat them for free when i'm at work~ =P (i usually eat only a few pieces la, not so greedy ma)

hehe, joanna called and whined (actually scold) me for ditching her for dinner on friday~ WHOOPS. sorry law~ i sorta promised her to have lunch with her next week..hmm, consider that she doesnt know i'll be in davis for most of the week. i should meet up with her on friday for lunch. or else i'll die very "painfully". hehee

right when i arrived to class today i suddenly became so weak and was in pain due to my period. sorta suffered for an hour b4 i got to go home >_< i was surprised that i could stand it. anyway, it felt so bad. the feeling that i'd fade in any second was with me for a while...i finally prayed and it sorta helped. thank you. took a nap and i'm back to normal again ^^ yea, working tonite tho. and final tmr morning ^^||| nice timing =P

ok, bro's gf's hamster died in the afternoon (7/29). that poor soul.

not feeling good now...somehow i'm not happy about stupid things that i'm not supposed to be unhappy for ^^|| i guess it means i care ba. been looking forward to 8pm since 7.. and i was rushing through my hw and reading.. but i was a bit disappointed. (i'm just jealous and "small air") sux when things dont go ur way.. hahaa..ok, thats a pathetic laugh. forget it. whats more pathetic when i feel like talking but have no one in mind that i could talk to? i should get a life.

let's see, what am i up to for the weekend? well, hung out with lori and had dinner with her. serramonte is pretty good, not bad, it came to my surprise that they have thai spice at its food court! (fine, i'll try to make my own pad thai~ and salsa fr the recipes i got fr aol cooking =P ) then working for saturday. hehe, got my own apron with tapioca express logo at last~ yes, it's my own =D (altho i will have to return it b4 i head back to davis. but i wont need an apron in the future or to prove to ppl that i'm an employee of tap ^^|| ). then church on sunday. ohh, finally had a normal family dinner where everyone gathered around a dining table. haha, yeah, havent eaten like that for 1-2months. ^^|||

oh, yuck, bro's gf's hamster bled today. was so gross!!! that poor thing, i'd rather poison her so she wont have to suffer so much. sigh. well, that hamster has a huge tumor.. i'm sure many ppl wont be able to take a look at her wound. not that i love staring at her wound but thats another reason for me to continue on with premed major.. *very tempting*

i told her that i could not be so confident and arrogant except in front of her cuz i know she values me more than i value myself.

havent talked to bro for a long time since i talk on the phone for hrs every nite ^^||| well, it's like he usually gets home at 10pm..then fr 10-1am will be the only time me and him could talk about things around us (latest movies, CDs, people, etc). i sorta miss talking with him. i'm sure he does too cuz he visits me everytime he arrives home and finds me on the phone. haha, he usually throw me a look and leave me alone until i reappear to brush my teeth.

KCI (fr FL) called and we sorta talked after a long chat on aim. she's turning so butchy..haha...she actually looks kinda cute too. anyway, i was really surprised how bored she is. not sure if i'm being stereotypic or i'm sorta disappointed in her way of dealing w/girls. perhaps, i'm no one to judge this kinda thing ^^|| oh well.

yay, almost done with my written assignment thats due tmr. ^_* somehow, after working i was tired but i was excited or hyper. maybe thats why i couldnt fall asleep. anyway, uploaded a few pics of mine and i sorta edited them. lori loves them..hahaa. no surprise =P see, i'm becoming more arrogant about my appearance cuz of her. haha~ but yeah, she printed them out and pinned it to the wall. hrm..not that i mind, but i'm just kinda shy when i think of how other ppl will see my pics..haha.. very gay. (gay cuz i took pics of myself and edited them; sent it out to ppl~) haha..yeah, roomie would scream "u are so gaaaay~ gosh, i cant stand u~" if she finds out. hehe..that dorka. a sudden thought today: might wanna take more GE at comm college next summer (since it's so much easier and cheaper here; davis is too hot in the summer). thats if i know someone who needs a place to stay for summer sessions. oh well. if i take courses at a comm college, i can still go to hk in august. ^_*

worked 6.5hrs straight yesterday. longest ever in my life. at least ppl there were nice and we knew more about each other now. ^_^ anyway, was so tired last nite. drank too much milktea and green tea too =D

stupid econ prof kept saying that she's very disappointed cuz my group decided to drop our extra credit project. it's only summer, sorry. no more hard working until i get back to davis =( now i'm in no mood to shop at all. i have a chance to visit valleyfair everyday afterschool but then i'd rather read a book or just take a nap. yes yes, me back to my retiring mood =P anyway, i gave mom the first $18 i earned at tap and she was like, "no no no~ u keep it. since u worked so hard for it, i dont want to take the credit." well, i guess it's too little. hehee, maybe next time when i finally earn a higher salary ^.^ anyhoo, that $18 is already gone la. been having $5 in my wallet for 2weeks now. ^_* yes, me saving real hard, couldnt u tell?

oooh, shoot, jaded is on this friday...awwww..i really want to go..but then, there's little meaning to go now. 1) i'm not desperate to meet more les 2) dont feel like socializing at all. sigh.

as u can tell that i havent updated my journal for a long time.. as in, there's little i wanna write in this anymore ^^|| hrm..well, i guess thats what happens when i have a person to share things with. just 2more weeks of school and i'll be done. working more steadily now.. as in i'm not a trainee anymore ^^ so i get to work for more shifts fr now on. gonna try to stay in davis for a week in august. even missing a week of work, it's fine. it's worth it. dont think i'll bring trouble for tap cuz they dont really need me. a week should be fine.

> Subject: Special Sauce
>
> I was sitting at the drive-through window at
> McDonald's this weekend. I did
> the usual thing, I drove up to the menu and ordered.
> I proceeded to the
> first window and paid, then drove to the second
> window and waited for the
> order. After sitting there for a few minutes, the
> clerk slide back the
> window and asked, "Will you please pull over to the
> side; your order is not
> ready."
>
> I was a little upset and even impatient, but I
> pulled over and waited. I
> thought, "How come other folks ordered and drove
> straight through and I have
> to wait." I waited for another two or three
> minutes. It seemed like hours
> before the clerk finally ran out, tapped on the
> window, and handed me the
> order. Of course I asked, "Hey, what took so long?"
> She
> replied, "You wanted the Special Sauce, which meant
> it had to be especially
> made for that sandwich, it doesn't usually come with
> that one.
>
> This scene is a reflection of our prayer life. We
> make our request to the
> Lord. Our menu is His Word, where He has listed
> promise after promise. We
> stand before Him and request and plead and,
> sometimes, even beg. We go to
> the first window and pay, sometimes with fervent
> prayer, sometimes with
> prolonged suffering, sometimes with obedience, and
> sometimes not at all. We
> then move to the second window and wait for our
> order. If God doesn't answer
> within a few minutes, we become upset. You know the
> phrase, "Jesus, it's
> 5:00 p.m. Friday; I prayed to You yesterday, and You
> still haven't answered.
> I can't wait much longer." Why is it taking Him so
> long? I've seen people
> drive up before me and they received their orders
> right away! We even go so
> far as to tap on the window and ask if He has
> forgotten our order. We
> become impatient. We become upset. We become
> downright mad.
>
> Lord I asked for a mate ten days ago and I don't see
> him/her anywhere.
> Lord, I've been asking for a new job for two years;
> others have passed me
> by. I've been waiting on a financial blessing for
> ten years and I still
> have more months than money. Where are You and why
> haven't you blessed me?
>
> And just when you think He is giving you the answer,
> He pulls back the royal
> curtain of Eternity, and states, "Please pull over
> to the side and wait a
> while longer." This once frustrated me to no end,
> made me mad, made me want
> to give up, made me want to holler; that is, until
> the clerk brought out my
> sandwich. Then, the revelation became clear.
>
> Do you know why the Lord has put you on the side?
> Do you know why you have
> had to wait for this blessing longer than before?
> Do you know why He has
> put you through more this time than ever? Do you
> know why it seems as
> though He has not heard you and He does not care?
> Do you know why it seems
> like you have had to go through more tears, more
> pains, and more struggling
> this time?
>
> Because this blessing is a Special Sauce Blessing!
> This is an Overflowing,
> Pressed-Down, Shaken Together, Blessing! You made a
> Special Order and God
> has been putting together a Special Sauce Blessing
> for you and He has to
> prepare it for you!
>
> That mate you wanted . . . He's putting together a
> Special Sauce! That job
> you wanted . . . He's putting together a Special
> Sauce! That financial
> blessing . . . He's putting together a Special
> Sauce! That peace on the job
> . . . He's putting together a Special Sauce! That
> house . . . He's putting
> together a Special Sauce! That deeper anointing . .
> . He's putting together
> a Special Sauce! That promotion. . . He's putting
> together a Special Sauce!
>
> For I know the thoughts that I think toward you,
> says the Lord, thoughts of
> peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.
> . . [and a Special
> Sauce]. Jeremiah 29:11 How many people have driven
> away before the clerk
> brought their food, and how many people have missed
> their blessings because
> they did not wait? Hang on there. Keep on waiting.
> You made a Special
> Order, now wait on God's Special Sauce! But they
> that wait on the Lord
> shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with
> wings as eagles; they
> shall run and not be weary, and they shall walk, and
> not faint. (Isaiah
> 40:31)
>
> They who wait shall receive a Special Sauce! Please
> send this message to
> those people who mean something to you, to those who
> have touched your life
> in one way or another, to those who make you smile
> when you really need it,
> to those that make you see the brighter side of
> things when you are really
> down, to those who you want to let them know that
> you appreciate their
> friendship. And if you don't, don't worry, nothing
> bad will happen to you,
> you will just miss out on the opportunity to
> brighten someone's day with
> this message.

accidentedly deleted 20epiodes of what i havent watched and couldnt find them in my recycle bin. SIGH. very pissed off at my comp and myself rite now. ok, gotta go punish myself by reading econ now.

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but she is beautiful because you love her."
~Anon.

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tapioca finally called me up today. just worked for 4.5hrs...so tired fr standing...but it's still kinda fun. ppl there were nice and funny. (cuz i worked for day shift today instead of the evening shift). so tired...going to church tmr...carrie called to remind me that i should be more enthusiastic about reading the bible and learning His words. ok ok...i'll pick up lynn's book very soon.

hmm~durian is yummy~i ate half of the durian..hehee...well, too bad, my bro didnt want it. now i wish i could go to thailand >.< mom said the durians there are so fresh and sweet (seeds are tiny too)...sigh. oh...^^|| see, as u can tell that i'm bored. totally forgot that mom's car will be tuned up on sat...so have to move all the plans to friday instead. everything should be fine..i mean, it should be better off than to cancel it. right?

it's not my first time being jealous. all the other times were just minor. this time was just another minor incidence but i couldnt help feeling bad. no sorry tho. it's ok. i mean, if i tell u that it's over, then it's over. i mean, if i say i'm done feeling bad, then i'm fine. but dont worry..i felt so much better after telling u. thats a good thing ^^

how does it feel to lose a friend? well, i havent been so heart-broken for a friend. actually, i didnt lose her. since i know she'll be in a better hand fr now on, it's actually a happy thing that she moves on. losing a friend is such a negative/pessimist way to describe "2ppl departing for the better". lynn is one of my few fds who share deep thoughts about life with me. the last time i was so heart-broken cuz of a friend happened toward the end of my sophmore year in HS. my best fd in HS who couldnt ignore socially constructed prejudice. anyway, everything is over now. whats been bothering me *sigh* i shall continue with my life without a great advisor and listener. but u know what? at least i have had it. ^.^

another nice song besides candy lo's.
¤ý¹Å©ú-®t¤@¤ÀÄÁ
(cyrus wong-off by a minute)

couples should never try to test how sincere each other is by lying or settling up some kind of scenario. ·R¬O¤£¯à³Q¸Õ±´©M¦ÒÅ窺¡A¦]¬°ÁÀ¨¥·|§â·R¤]±a¨«¡C

ok, i think i'm ready to reply lynn.

didnt have the mood to go online or update my journal at all recently. had a nice and fun conversation with lori today for hrs. that was pretty funny and i laughed kinda hard. somehow i feel so much relieved. not becuz of the content of our conversation, but talking to her about random stuff loosens me up fr the tension i've been having. thx.

love candy lo's new song "¦n¤ß¤À¤â"/ ¦Ü¤Ö¨«±o¤ñ§A¦­ (i liked the mandarin version better)

been way too hot in the bay area...sigh. there's nothing more i can do about it besides whining =P yay~almost done with this week.. sorta glad that having 5days of school didnt make me dislike school even more. thats a good thing. the weather is finally cooler today (THANK GOD)...

my gf was in a bad mood yesterday due to imbalanced hormone level =P anyways, i made her laugh so bad when she was doing facial mask. hehee.. too bad, i'm naughty =P

yay, found the computer lab in foothill. good thing: i get go online in the morning instead of waiting 2hrs for class to start. bad thing: no more naps for me in the morning! (altho i feel like a homeless sleeping on campus =P ) i want to sleep more!! argh, it's summer!! >_< fine fine fine~ just 3more weeks of getting up early in the morning! just 3more weeks.

lori, do sth productive at home la.. such as writing letters to me (i still havent received urs, hoping today ba), doing ur secret thing, cooking, cleaning the house, starting on ur program (!!!), and expecting for my call la. i wont be home till 4-5 today.

i hate the weather..so hot...been sweating all day..goshes, it's such a yucky feeling. made so many drinks tonite at tap...nothing special, i was still quiet as usual. dont know why i wasnt in a good mood after work.. didnt feel like talking. anyway, gotta sleep and get ready to get up at 7am tmr!! sigh.

lynn, thx for ur email and sharing..^^ i was smiling while reading ur email too! i'll reply u soon.

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was in a good mood all day till i got a call fr tapioca express. i didnt go to work cuz i didnt know i have to work today. anyways, perhaps it's not a reasonable excuse to one of the experienced coworkers there. sigh. i was pretty surprised how scared and worried i was after receiving the call. gosh,she's my nightmare!!! >_< anyhoo, fine, i'll face her and whatever unpleasant things about my job. well, it's life ma. my worry and fear didnt go away till tap reassured me my working schedule for tmr's nite. thank god or else i will have flashbacks when i go to bed. i studied for econ early today, hehe, i better do well on tmr's quiz!! must ace it to make up for today's. ^^||| then talked to so many diff ppl tonite..thank god i have unlimited mins at nites ^^|| anyway, i couldnt think of topics to discuss with lori most of the time. i guess things will be better and smoother if i get to see her ba. i'm glad that we'll have 9months together after 2more months of summer vacation. ^_^ hmm...thinking about working at in-n-out's after my summer school since i'll be doing nothing at home.

it's so hot today!! >_< argh, i hate summer school. anyway, i had a 3-hr gap today, sigh. didnt know where to go so i just drove around. finally gave up and parked my car under some shade. after starting on a letter to lori, i stopped and tried to sleep in the car. i was sweating when i woke up like an hr later. omg, i was so tired and hot >_< a car seat s an horrible place to rest. anyway, i'm glad i'm home! cali is way too warm. kinda annoying sometimes. (but i still love cali's weather most of the time)

yay~ me just wrote a long passage in one of my to-be-continued-online fictions, gosh, the last time i updated that particular story was 14months ago ^^||| i remembered how i couldnt finish the following part so i started on another fiction..haha..yeah, u move onto other works when u get stuck! anyway, a sense of accomplishment is all over me now ^.^ too happy. altho i am expecting a call any time soon now. ok..enough internet for the day. miss writing story in chinese =D *sigh of joy*

finally attended sunday service and sunday school. had not been able to fight against my tiredness in the morning ^^|| but i had fun at sunday school cuz the lecture was actually provoking. i wish my fellowship in davis could experience such sunday school. i dont know.. maybe i'm just being too picky when i do little to improve =P well..anyway, i've decided to go to as much worship service as i can before i head back to davis. finally got a few icq msgs fr lynn ^_^ havent heard fr her for such a long time. pal, i miss u too ^.^

eddy pissed me off today when we randomly shopped for grocery. i spent at least 30mins cussing at him on his back. sigh, yes, i couldnt help it. i was so in rage. i even cried in the car. so ppl pass by were just staring at me in the store cuz my eyes were red,etc. we both scolded each other in the car yet no compromise was done. so yeah, we gave up. i ignored him on stuff that doesnt matter. i'm glad that i feel normal now.. totally forgave him. i guess reading lynn's msgs, i was too happy to stay angry at my own bro. anyhoo...i really hated him at the moment. but, haha, i was actually happy that he made me so angry so that i could finally cry... havent cried for a long time, kinda miss that way in expressing myself =P anyway, i'm fine, dont wanna repeat the story..so yeah. it'll just become one of those things that will remain in us for the rest of our lives. (dont worry tho since i realize i'm making it sound so bad ^^|| whoops)