oh god, my ex, P, just icq me to talk to me about her current relationship...sigh. i dont know..wouldn't it seem weird to her that she goes to her ex for advise?? hello? you did break my heart before!........i dont know, i guess i'm just taking this too personally bah. i shouldn't. ok ok, i'm sorry.. she was being friendly and just any of my friend who'd come to me when they want to talk. anyway...i guess it's just weird on my part. i still remembered her bday too..so scary...i dont know if i still remembered it cuz i hated or loved her so much before..hahaa.. yes, there's a thin line between love and hate. hai.

hehe, ok ok, not updating for a day wont kill ya! =P but thx for caring, lynn. forgot what i did yesterday...but i do remember that i went to watch a hk VCD and talked w/my "slave" (yes, ur now called slave) and rosanna till 3:30am..oh god, we were so tired and sleepy..haha, but "dance of a dream" is pretty good... nice moves in the tango. anyway, saw a little of the taiwanese drama that starred cute guys/girls called the marmalade boys. it's kinda funny but lacks depth. it's arite...i like the main female character tho..i've listened and loved her songs b4 but have never seen her face (since i dont buy CDs anymore, sigh). and i was surprised that she's actually cute!! ^^ yes she's cute. and her acting is not as childlish as expected. anyways... then three of us talked about people and things happening around us...roomie watched movies on my comp till 2 or 3am..so i'd rather stay up watching some movie w/fds. thats why i didnt have time and energy to finish my journal for yesterday.

anyway, journal for today. woke up at 11:30.. not tired at all ^^ and it rained after my chem lab, so freakin' fun.*was being sarcastic* saw lots of duckies. and saw one duckie bleeding on its head..i was like, aww!! but..there's nothing i could do about it, it walked away fr us. sigh. wenta this pottery place where u can purchase a bowl/cup/vase/u-name-it-stuff and paint them. i spent 2-3hrs painting my own mug!! ^__^ it's very expensive tho...considering it's all for a silly mug.but i'm sure it'll turn out nice. was gonna make a few mugs and bowl for fds..but.. i want one too!! hee, so yea..me first okay. it's always me! me come first for everything =P anyway, wont get my awesome mug back till late wednesday. sigh. hope it'll turn out nice ^________^ i wanna see it already! have an english midterm tmr..oh god, i've barely studied for it...dohh!

yups, so here i am back in my dorm. sitting in front of my dearest computer typing away my feelings. anyhoo...hrm, realized that my temper has gone worse..like, i was impatient at home when my mom or bro asked me stuff or if they didnt get what i said. it was scary..like, how i'd be all pissed off and stuff..hmm...bad sign. anyways, spent a great deal of time with mom this weekend...i finished most of my assignments before coming back to school though, that's an improvement. =P mom asked when will i go home again, i said i dont know.. after checking my schedule, i can afford spending weekends at home!! like, dont need to study at all. well..i'll see ba...probably go home every 2weeks again. oh yay~ brought 50 blank CDRs so i can burn as much as i want again. sigh of joy~ ^___^ spent 3-4hours on finishing all hws that are due tmr...^^|| im' happy that i was so productive tonite. my aunt fr my mom's side is really really ill... she has anemia for years..and it's gone worse lately...her health is never good throughout her whole life...that's a sad thing. she never enjoyed PE classes.. (exercising is fun sometimes but she never had a chance to feel that satisfaction, sigh).. anyway, she's like those physically very very weak and sick patients. SIGH. so i guess my aunt is an example of our hereditary disease ba. i already have a feeling that i'll die of cancer later in my years. 1) family traits 2) with all these contaminations and unhealthy lifestyles nowadays, my possible benign cancer cells will all be awakened later in the future. eh, how did i start on this? haha, the next thing i'll talk about will be how i want my funeral to be..=P just kidding! i'm only 19...there's a future waiting for me.

quite missed lynn these days, espeically fri. why? well, we msg each other quite often lately.. hee, i'd receive text msgs fr her during class/sleep,etc... i'm just touched by everything she does for me. technically, we are strangers who live thousand of miles away fr each other, yet she cares for me. anyways, thanks, lynn. thx for everything ^_^ you're another reason why i still believe in icq friendship.

roomie invited her HS fd over for 3days... i'm fine with it..since i've heard of him fr roomie before... yes, it's a he. but it's arite la..no worry, people. i think i told my mom about him..but it's okay ba..she didnt like freak out...hee, thats a good thing. she trusts me ma..oh, mentioning of my mom, i slept with her on fri nite... she wanted to be, since she asked me "do u want me to share bed with u tonite?" she normally doesnt ask unless she thinks i want to or she indeed wants to. so i said, "well, up to u la..i dont mind." so we shared one twin bed. anyways, we talked till like 2-3am... we talked about relationships and my bro's relationship,etc.. it's weird how she was trying to teach me stuff about relationship... thank god she didnt ask me if i have a bf or is there someone u like or someone chasing after u in college? i guess she could tell ba.. i'd be all cheerful if i'm with someone. since i was being a jerk at home, hee, nope, i'm not in love. ok ok, i should be studying for music but i ended up spending half an hour typing this. oh gosh...go away, blogger!

nothing much for today..gone out grocery shopping with bro and mom... got some food for me to bring back with me..then i wont be home in another 2weeks...oh well. im' sure i wont be going home as often as now next yr since i'll be establishing my home off campus for next yr ^_^ it's kinda nice to picture it sometimes... just dont go into who will take the trash out or who will clean the bathroom/kitchen..then everything is nice and fine.

oh oh..didnt gain weight at all after 2 weeks of dorm life!! altho i felt like i gained at least 2lbs...didnt eat that much at home this time..^_^ gotta control myself...i mean..it's weird how i dont care about eating mom's food now... not as desperate for decent food now... if i have to live without chinese/asian food for a month, it's fine. i can always live on my cereal or DC food..

both of my future roommates got bfs lately..they are really happy and enjoying their lives now ^_^ i'm glad... at least they are never home now..hahaa...well, i mean it not in a mean way... it's nice to have less distraction when u most needed time to study. well... that means the guys will go over to our place pretty often next yr...glad i get a room to myself. they are being too cuddly and stuff.. i can't stand it sometimes knowing the nerdiest side of theirs. it's just odd.

oh yeah, thx, lynn, for ur bday present and card ^_^ i was quite surprised. i will sure read the book when i have time.. and hee, about mos burger.. with cup/napkin design like that, they will sure make a great success....hahaha... *ahem* yeah...=P

fixed link to ho yiu san's without you here

this is what i wrote last nite at 12:38am. blogger died on me so i had to save my second draft somewhere else..sigh.

first of all, let me say fuck blogger~!!!!!! ARGH. i wrote two long ass
paragraphs and it lost them!!! i'm so mad right now that i didnt know
what to
type now...grrrr.

anyway, main points in my paragraphs:
1.hamster passed away today..the one who always appreciated my bugging no matter if she was sleeping or not...*sniffs* i watched her since her birth...i chose to keep her cuz she was the most naughty one among her siblings ^^ long story short, BB, i will always remember u and thx for being part of my memory and life ^_^ sorry for not appreciate ur bugging when u bug...sigh. love always, ur master.
2. i'm so happy to be home at last ^_^ got home at 5:30 and found the body of my beloved one. then helped my mom cook a bit and ate. dyed my hair. just spent time with my mom...organized my CDs (yay)...and talked to fds on the phone.
3. have been worrying and thinking a lot about fds' problems....it really bugs me sometime..not that it annoys me..but i mean, it's on mind sometime...but it has nothing to do with me. anyway, i guess i'm bored ba..haha... anyway..maybe i'm just sad to see how the situation is now... it's so sad....it's okay ba, Jiiii, no matter what u choose to do, i'll respect ur choice, that's all it matters. us being bystanders are not important at all. i wouldnt mind being the middle person if i can help the situation. no need to thank me. i'm ur fd, i'm ur master. dont let it bug u if it's not worth it. (thats why ur not on my mind....hehehee, i'm just kidding! =P )

^_______^ yay~ no more midterms!! at least not in another week..sigh of relief and joy~ anyway, da test wasnt so bad...it's pretty easy..thank god! anyway, got too much hws for da weekend so i'm working on some of them now..almost done with my music listening log ^_^ *happy* so freakin' long..already wrote 4and a half pages..gonna type up another page then i'll be done. then got only english hw to do at home..oh gosh, my stupid essay.. about the invention of an IP address cuz it was invented around my birthday. honestly, it wasn't even close to my bday..it happened on jan1, 1983!! hehe, so yeah, now my "official" bday should be jan1..=p not like my prof'd really go find out everyone's bday...so yeah...but it's hard to write about technological advance when all u know about it is its formal details (sound too technical n boring). SIGH.

plans for this weekend: since i'm done with music hw, maybe i should start on my english reading assignment for next fri or finish reading chapters for music, stuff myself with lots of mommy's food and TV, organize all the CDs i burnt these past few weeks, play with my cute hamsters =^.^= , go visit a fd who works at the chinese bookstore and get roomie a phone card (gosh, so annoying! haha, jk~)
been pretty close to pet-human and those crazy girls fr M lately..^^ (good thing or a bad thing? haha) anyway...to Lori who will be missing me a lot: you gwai ba...be good while master is gone home =P study hard ar, stop watching movies till morning..u will die faster this way. (or maybe i should let u continue this..hmm...)

i have never felt so prepared for a chem midterm...it's an awesome feeling..^^ it's like..i havent had this kinda feeling for a long time, ever since my senior yr...sigh...it's like, i am ready to take my test! ^____________^ awesome feeling..in a happy happy mood now. (in lima's words: i'm at la la land *shivers*)

lynn, this is a nice song.. sang by an asian who's in the bay area. download here momentum by vienna teng.
eason chan-isomnia download here

tracks in the album-sun with love
Ho yiu san01-sun with love download here
Ho yiu san02-without you download here
Ho Yiu San07-tell Him download here

oh yes, i'm done studying for chem...i'm so happy...like, i'm very satisfied now.. especially how hard i studied for chem today..^_^ i wish this "me" will never go away...stay with me! dammit! i need u! anyways, all chem today..nothing much..i better call home.

Hey Jude by Beatles

Jude don't make it bad

Take a sad song and make it better

Remember to let her into your heart

Then you can start to make it better



Hey Jude don't be afraid

You were made to go out and get her

The minute you let her under your skin

Then you begin to make it better

And anytime you feel the pain

Hey Jude refrain

don't carry the world upon your shoulders

For well you know that it's a fool

Who plays it cool

By making his world a little colder

Da da da da da da da da da



Hey Jude don't let me down

You have found her now go and get her

Remember to let her into your heart

Then you can start to make it better



So let it out and let it in

Hey Jude begin

you're waiting for someone to perform with

And don't you know that it's just you

Hey Jude you'll do

The movement you need is on your shoulder

Da da da da da da da da da



Hey jude don't make it bad

Take a sad song and make it better

Remember to let her under your skin

Then you'll begin to make it better,

better, better, better, better, better,

Oh, da da da da da da da Da da da da

Hey Jude

i so didnt want to get up this morning..(more like afternoon, but yea) my alarm went on at 10..i was surprised that it was already10!! *gasp* already?!! hehe, i actually enjoyed my sleep...like how dead i really am and how easily and quickly i could fall asleep. i like this...maybe i should tire myself out every nite so then i wont have a hard time falling asleep anymore. anyway, eating ben&jerry's "cherry garcias with choco fudge and brownie" for lunch..haa, just sudden crave for it. thats all.. i miss cherry garcias...just plain cherry garcias... the strong choco flavor totally covers up my cherry ice cream. sigh. okay, no more BSing here..gotta study for chem.

i miss typing...i turned off my comp like 10mins ago..and turned it on just becuz i suddenly have this urge to type..i miss talking to myself here...too bad there r a few ppl who read this periodically...hehe, who? =P u'll never know.. what i want to say is that..i'm sure i can do better than D, but my grades arent reflecting or proving it to me. so i'm gonna work hard now just to prove to myself that i am right about i'm better than DD. sorry, i am conceited. and i like my conceited side, it makes me productive and competitive. oh shoot, got tons of hws to do over the weekend.. 1.music listening logssssss that need to be retyped 2.revise my eng essay(basically rewriting half of my essay,sigh); write a letter to teacher. 3.getting a prepaid phone card for dearest roomie =P gonna dye my hair hopefully altho almost everything disapproves of such act...hmm, very strange..they are all against me this time ^^|| but i'm too self-centered to listen. actually, i wouldn't dye my hair if any of u tells me that "you dont want me to dye my hair this time". this is ur one-time-only-pass. =P (yes, i am talking to u, Krojen,haha)
­

goodnite, ppl. yes, im' finally going to bed...sigh, gotta get up at 10 tmr to go to a concert...and must cramp for chem..tmr is my last day...i finally have the motivation to work hard now.. after thinking over how some not-as-talented ppl who work so hard and could still survive in college.. i think i can do this also..but why am i not trying hard? what the fuck?! whats wrong with me?!! i must pick this whole shit up...i must.

i have a feeling that i did bad on my math midterm...loss of memory all in a sudden. anyway, studying for chem now...havent reviewed for chem in a long while..sorta forgot what i learned a few weeks ago..oppsie. *yawns* i'm bored. more chem probs that is.

my chinese is going down..what to do?? sigh~ it's like..i could hear this..weird accent myself when i speak cantonese or mandarin. great. hope that going home will make my accent go away...

there are songs that remind me of the time i spent with a certain people.. like, for elva's songs, they remind me of fox; jay chou's/may day's/victor chen's,etc remind me of roomie (we listened to jay's songs everyday for like 2months, it was crazy!).

the lyric is so sad!! >_<
"your backpack" by eason chan.
lyric

i want to go home!!! i just want to leave davis...altho i still got a few assignments to follow up on over the weekend...i just want to go home. i miss my mom, i miss all the food in SJ, my hamsters..my bros who always want to spend time with me on fri/sat just becuz i'll go back to school on sun and dat they'll have church and wont have time to say goodbye. yes yes, it's so sweet of them.. at least one of them shows strong love when i go back.. the other one is too busy with his gf.. lemme think, what to eat when i get back?? chicken wings, fried rice, mommy's soup, ..hmm, what else? cooked veggies?? (had enough of salad here..started to like it too..). and gonna play with my hamsters who sure miss me and know how much i miss em ^___^
two duckies flew by (they were right in front of me, very close) today... and my pet-human got scared that she covered her head with her arms loh... i was like "^^||||" when i noticed her. hahah...yea, i was so close to those duckies cuz one of the huge and fat male ducks charged at the younger duckling, so i walked toward them trying to scare the big guy away.. but the younger duckling flew away before the fat guy got her. so it's all cool, as long as the younger one din get hurt or anything. anyway, animals are cute, okay.

it's JJ's bday on friday~ ^^ happy bday~strawberry! if u read this.

oh yes, i think i'm sick or almost sick. or some kinda allergy...running nose, sneeze pretty often, slight coughing. but it's okay, i should be fine when i go home ^^ home home home. sigh.

already thought of what to get for roomie by the end of this year...should i write "i love maggy" or "sun & Rei" within a shape of heart?? hahaa.. or "love always.." or "your first and last roomie ever" or "da bestest roomie ever" or "our love and memory will grow with us" or "now u can tell others that u had a great roomie". oh, how 'bout this "sorry, i took ur first time..sigh. (first time rooming with a stranger, ofcourse)" hush, people. no laughing.

finished my chem lab quickly today thx to someone's lab notebook and calculation..=P and i accidentedly copied her data for my calculation, ahem, did i hear laughters? anyway..studying for math now..i've been wasting too much time...i can't afford getting more C's..well, or anything below C if it's the case *sniffs*
IE is still dead..sigh..oh yes, finally got the bonus track in eason's new album...YES! i was so happy...i was so grateful and thankful for this icq guy whom i got his icq number just to get the song fr him..hahaa.yes, and he was cool about it. i guess i should delete his name and stuff now. what was i gonna say ? oh yea...today we had prezets for lunch...i mean, it was one of the options. and they had this container with mustard and a bowl of salt right next to the prezets. so..i assumed that the mustard was cheese and salt as sugar. %!#$!#$Q#@%$$!#$!#@$#$# ((grrrrr)) i was never this pissed off about food...actually my DC...i had this mouthful of salt on my first bite of the prezets...oh fudge!! i was so mad...well, partly cuz of my stupidity...but why would they put mustard for prezets in the first place??????? hello~~~!!!! ok ok, fine.. i've been craving for sweetened prezets since weekend...and finally i saw these cute n freshly baked prezets...so yeah, i was excited and grateful for this coincidence. BUT!!! yes, but, it had to be so nasty and so salty. it was just so nasty...the thought of tasting that shit again just make me shiver. anyway, nice experience with prezetz huh? esp when u crave for it. sigh sigh sigh. i guess, no prezets for another month or so. sai (sigh)

i usually brush my teeth before 9pm now.. why? one, it keeps me away fr food(esp junk food for me while i surf); second, too lazy to go back and forth to the bathroom unless i need to. yeah.. and i now drink water when i get bored and feel like eating... sigh...hehe..^^||| sounds so healthy? no no no..i'm not. didnt want to get up today...finally got up at 12:30.. missed church ofcourse..sigh, i'm sorry. slept at 2..so..there was no way that i could get up at 8 for church. nothing much for today exdept that i'm typing away 4pages long essay now. oh, internet explorer died on me (!!!!), never trust and listen to ur older bro if u have one. never! now i have to use netscape in order to go online. netscape is pretty good, i'm surprised..and its got lots of build-in features (buddy list,etc).i was busy backing up everything in my computer...ofcourse, those that i want must be saved. i turned out burning 9CDs for all of my chinese/jap/korean/eng mp3s. sigh, i mean, they are all good, just not good enough for me to burn them onto an audio CD. saw simpsons tonite, it sux. just a blend of all reruns into one. not too funny for intermediate fan like me. oh yea, remember that nite i said i was gonna run out to stargaze at 11pm (fri nite)?? yea rite! u know what happened? i was so tired by 11pm..so i couldnt stand it n went to bed. didnt fall asleep until 12 i believe...and woke up again cuz i heard roomie was on the fone... i was like, huh? what? why did i wake up?? SIGH.

recommendations of the latest chinese albums: andy hui's, eason's, yu hung ming's (´åÂE©ú: a taiwanese male singer who's famous for his love songs), hacken's concert, and a few songs fr miriam's latest album. those who are my close fds and i hope ur confident enuf to know who u are, u can ask me to burn CD for u if u wanna listen to those.. but out of CDRs now..gotta wait till next week. well, lynn, i wish the international shipping isnt so expensive or else u'd know what i'm listening to ^^

and, i'm homesick again. i wanna go home!!! probably becuz i'm too sick of school. but it's just sunday! aww, man. roomie's fd gonna come over for this weekend..i wanna meet him. i've talked to him online b4....but oh well, i wanna go home. so many ppl are going back to hk or taipei....aww...i wanna go too~ but..honestly, hk is not my home anymore. the definition of hk is no longer my home or my origin. it's just..a place i used to live in or a place that's used to be familiar but strange now. sigh. hk hk hk. how should i identify myself now? ABC? hkese? ^^|||

and i'm slightly sick now..sore throat since fri.. dun think chips would help, so i should stop eating those. =p hehe, jk! i already took flu medicine..i feel better now...i almost drank 1gallon of water since friday...scary huh?

hello, all. today's UCD picnic day..already heard about the fun and stuff...altho i missed this..but i really hate its sudden change of the bus schedules. i just hate UCD for this!!! argh..in despite of the pesdestrians that were everywhere on the street!! argh... drove a bit today on campus and yielded to tons of pesdestrians... people, please dont cross when u see there's fast fast traffic..please! i saw there's a group of students crossing russel/MU even where they saw there were cars coming at them..!!! oh god....((grrr)) and the mixed up of the bus schedule..oh fuck it..okay...roomie and I waited for 1hr and a half for a bus that will never arrive due to change of the schedule and route cuz of the picnic day. finally we HAD TO PAY for the bus (line N, this is something new..) we are students who paid for unitrans in our tuitions... stupid stupid picnic day. why dont they rename it to family day?? omg.. i saw kids milking our UCD cows!!!! it's like.. free or something..there was this long line too.. and ...3-4cows rite across fr tercero.. i was so shocked when i saw a few kids milking one cow at a time...i told roomie that, omg!! they are milking our cows!!! i have been here for months! i didnt even get to milk the cows??!! ARGH! roomie was like "u wanna stop and milk them then?" me: "naw..." kept driving. sigh sigh sigh. i realized how painful and suckie it is to have no car to drive around in davis.. all the goodies are in sac...must persuade my mom to let me bring up her car..(muahaha) but naw...imagine how often will my fds make me drive them to places...oh gosh...thats painful. imagine if phuong bugs u to take her out to shop...*SHIVERS* or to rechall every nite... *SHIVERS*

should i pay $35/yr for a more advance blogger?? hmm...it's really not necessary...but it'll be equipped with the function for ppl to comment on my entries...this is like the only thing that i desperately want for my blogspot. hmmmm. i dunno... let's not think too much about it now.. the more i think about it the more i want to get it..^^||| yea.

20, free mocha frap???!!! how did u do that? >__< i wish i can get free mocha fraps again..heee, i remembered how my bro gave me this certificate for free mocha frap b4...stupid starbucks and jumba juice...stop making all of us so addictive to u guys' drinks! sigh sigh sigh.

oh yeah... my internet explorer died...i have a feeling that it'll not recover unless i reformat it over the summer. now i have to stick to using netscape...or else i have nothing to play around with besides aim and icq. sad sad. cant even open window explorer now..whats up with that? tell me whats wrong with u, computa.

ppl, i'm in a good mood now..glad to be home at last after driving, walking and shopping.. having a headache now..it wont go away unless i get a good nite of sleep...had only..3.5hrs of sleep last nite and i'm still alive! *gasp* i am quite surprised. anyway, wearing contacts for 12hrs when ur eyes didnt get rest well the nite before is like..killing ur eyes. yes, thats why i'm having headache now...i guess i deserve it. anyhoo... somehow, i want to sorta tell this to the world that, I am giving up on someone. being fds is good enough ba..and i'm sure that nothing will develop even if i dont give up...so why not? plus, i'm glad that..she's happy with her life and bf now (well, she's not very sad about anything particular). i guess its time for me to end this silliness. from now on, i'll still look gay but i won't be one anymore. well, when will i grow out my hair? good question..i still love my short hair and i do have enough hair dyes for me to dye my hair for like..3-4times. so i guess, the plan of growing out my hair just to look more girlish and to satisfy all of my fds' longing wish (you, you, and you!). it's funny how my hair can be so amusing.. or at least bugging me about my short hair will kill some of ur time =P i should tell my mom about this plan, she'd be so happy to let me keep my short hair for at least another year or letting me dye my hair as often as i want or basically letting me do whatever i want... i want to get ear piercing.. i saw this really pretty and cool earrings...it's very simple, just like a super tiny pearl.. or would u rather want me to say that it's just a tiny metal ball. yea, those u've seen around on guys/girls that seem hardly noticeable. i just want my..hmm, left or rite ear to be pierced. but..i do want to be one of those who will have less possibility of getting infection. (piercing=greater chance of getting infection throughout ur life). plus, why would u punch a hole into ur ear when God created u with no hole or no body piercing?? oh well.. i may not be able to face this question again if i really get ear piercings. okay, maybe i should take a poll. hmm, lets see, well, drop me a line in my guestbookif u think it's cool to get ears pierced and i should do it ASAP.

enuf with silly BS....i was gonna come here to tell y'all that theres a rare planetary alignment tonite in the sky. only those who live in bay area, ofcourse..."all the planets of the solar system-venus, jupiter, mars, mercury, saturn, neptune, uranus and pluto-will gather in the same general area and at the same time in the nite sky for hte next month (april-mid may). an event that wont recur for more than 70yrs. (harvard-Smithsonian center for astrophysics)" ((omg, i'm quoting!! anyway..)) i'm gonna run outside at 11pm tonite... then i'm gonna go to bed in joy. ((yes! i miss u, bed!))

nice nice fireworks, hanabi. here just click on the black square

roomie and I slept at 4 or later last nite... we talked for 3hrs...omg..it was a nice long chat, however, i had class at 8 today. sigh. luckily, i wasnt feel too bad waking up and going to classes... i didnt fall asleep in class too, only for short while when i needed to rest my eyes. i realized..i would stutter now when i speak...WTF...especially in eng and cantonese... uh...great. now should i use sign language? sigh. ate very little and that surprised roomie, hahaa, i was very hungry...there wasnt much good thing to eat in DC..so yea...oh well...plans for today: email everyone in my eng class my essay (yes, about 20other peeps will be reading ur paper, how creepy is that?), then, go out for a bit, and movies tonite, yes, movies. hmm, then get ready for a fulfilling saturday on which i will STUDY HARD and start on my essay due monday...sigh. i'm actually in a good mood today, it's friday! ^o^ and my paper awaits for my return and constant molesting (u know, typing...).

hello, in a good mood now..just got out of shower...quite productive today..hmm, maybe not..anyway, did my laundry at last!! stupid person who took out my clothes fr the dryer when they were still wet...i will track you down!! i know what kinda laundry basket ur using!! =P i was surprised that i said "fucker!" when i saw that my clothes were taken out. haha... yea...sorry, krojen...=P tho i never promise u anything about not swearing. anyhoo....spent all day trying to type up my essay...goshes, whats wrong with me and my procrastinating??? NOOOOOOOO i wasted entire day working on ONE assignment...sigh....>_< so ashamed of myself now...oh well...oh well...i must forgive myself...=P if you dont, too bad.

and got an email fr HS friend telling me that..she didnt forget my bday...but was confused by my mentioning of early bday greetings fr friends on april 14th...so she thought that she missed my bday... she was too ashamed to say happy bday to me on the 14th...therefore, she didnt send me an ecard... she finally saw my other entries here and realized that she was rite about my correct birthdate!!! but..by then, it's passed the 16th... she finally said happy belated bday.....(hahahhha)....i'm sorry, yes, lina, it's all my fault for "tricking" you if u'd like me to put it that way. it's okay..it's okay... and... YOU'RE WELCOME FOR THE REMINDER.... goshes.. i actually had to remind her that i turned 19...that girl... sigh...speechless..hehee... well, dont worry, i only had to remind..3 or 4ppl about my bday... cuz i knew they care. =P those i didnt remind, i dont care about you guys... (I'M JUST KIDDING!!) hee, now, dont take it seriously. i know i'm a bad joker. i also reminded alex, my family who was so into the TV programs n forgot to call me (ARGH), and...this "very" fat girl called lina. (she's not fat at all, if u consider her as fat, then i'm obese.)
lina, thank you! u could've told me that u were too busy finishing up assignments so u just forgot to finish email for me and stuff..u know...gotta have a better lying skill...you're 18!!! hehee...i mean, communicating skill. or maybe its time to get ur personalized excuses-generator. for info, call 1-800-in-ur-dream. (lina, this is another joke =P )

i dindt have time to write in blogger today...i miss this place...*hugs my monitor, NOT* hmm..i think..i'm just BSing now..so mite as well go finish my essay. take care, all.

oh oh...btw, now i'm my pet-human's godsister....and i also have other god-aunts/mom/cousins....how? what? why? when? yes, i wanna know the answers to those too!! Loretta: tell me why~~~ those who live on the second floor in M buidling..tsk tsk tsk!! stop corrupting me!! (hehehee) and, ur master love you too...(i'm sorry, this is not aol, i forgot, or else the "love" would be in size 8 or any other smaller size available, sigh). mousie, just remember that everything is okay at the end, if it's not okay, then it's not the end.

was gonna sleep 20mins ago..ended up listening to the last section of the hk radio program i've been listening to this week...i just miss charlene's voice...therefore, i listened to it for the third time. it's soooo sad. *sniffs*....i want to cry...but..no tears. anyway....at some point, i'm glad that charlene didnt have to go thru "searching and trying" before she finally found her true love. altho it's a sad story if u think of it physically...sigh sigh sigh..many many sigh's. i think..i'm just weird..putting myself too into the characters........*speechless*

omg..my chinese has gotten so bad that i started to hear my weird accent in cantonese!! OH NOOOOOOOOOO >______< impossible!! i need to go home..i need lots of people to talk to me in cantonese...nooooooooo~ *covers my ears* fudge fudge fudge! i was talking to "num kang" (also known as, lori) ..then i realized i couldnt finish my sentence in cantonese..i had to speak in english and stuff... man! nooooo, dont go away, my chinese!! come back!!! *grasps only air...* sigh. this is bad, i'm only 19..(hee, yes, 19)... already losing my native language...hrmmm...that's great. imagine me in another ten years...i'd be telling you that i'm not chinese...^^|||

okay, lets see....THANK YOU, XTINA FOR MAKING ME STAY UP TILL 2 LAST NITE WHEN I HAD A CLASS AT 8 TODAY. thank you! (argh) roomie suddenly felt like talking at 1am last nite... i was trying very hard to sleep as i've been having troubles sleeping lately...and she just went on with her storytelling.... "uh, christina, i have a class tmr at 8, which means me getting up at 7:20..please, leave me alone!" sigh. see, people, how bad of a roomie i have here, huh? hehee..jk, roomie~ i'd love to listen to you, but not at 1 or 2am. u realize why i stop talking to u when we are in beds? yes, cuz once we start, we wont stop. (pringles: once u pop, u cant stop) sigh sigh sigh. but thank god that i wasnt too tired in class...tho slept in math for a short while but still understood what went on.

to snowy: that phone number is really my phone number to my dorm..haha....^^ but thx tho.. although you didnt call, but i feel your "heart" la...hee, thx for remembering my bday too~ just in case u "miss" me, 530-754-0190 =P take care la. oh and THANK YOU SO MUCH for the URL to the site w/lots (TONS) of chinese fictions...^_^ i will sure check it out and read all of yik su's fictions over summer ga lah~ fan kiu~

and to those who remembered and greeted me happy bday ^o^ thank you all for everything. i think..too much peeps know about my obsession with bunnies now..hmmm...well, i do love hamsters. =P and a few other human beings.

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i suddenly miss alex.. how we used to spend so much time in my last year of HS...he was like my best friend in my senior year.. and partly becuz of him, my senior year was still my best yr in HS.... we did a lot of things together that were only between us...^_^ hmm...like what? well, i dont remember every single thing we did and shared... we went to this 3-day camping held by the gay and les community center in SJ... and i told my mom that i'm going cuz of alex.. he volunteered at YMCA and their youth program is gonna camp..and he could hook me up. without much hesitation or worry, my mom just let me go..hahaa..yeah, i'm sorry for lying..but but but.. it's the only way to make my mom say yes to my request...she's seen alex several times..cuz i mention him to her and stuff...hehe, i guess it's always good to have some..gender balance. if u know what i mean. =p anyhoo..mom still trusts alex. thx to his academic reputation! hehee.. it's funny how alex's mom thought that we were going out and stuff. hmmm, yeah, thats a normal guess considering how close we were in HS. i knew about him from middle school or freshman year in HS. he seemed like a nice guy. at least a very studious and intelligent one. unlike many many guys in HS. well, i'm grateful for having a close friend like him. ^__^ yeah...thx for the help on hws and stuff too..hee. but i wouldn't want to marry you...hahaa, no, not for love. why not? i know how bad alex really is..hahaa, sometimes it still scares and surprises me how bad that boy really is. tsk tsk tsk. bad baby. i'd marry you if i couldn't find a better one or if there's no other guy who can finally catch my eyes and if i'm being forced to get married at age 30. anyways, enough of alex..aren't u sick of him by now? haha...

*sniffs*.....okay, me done w/the radio program...sigh sigh sigh. no more innocent little girl's voice for me....fine, i'll listen to another one next next weekend...now i better get started with chem and music.... oh fudge...i've been slacking this quarter so far....*frowns* fine fine..time to be "myself" now...oh oh, i mean, time to be a good student...=p

lets see, me and loretta went to Fuzio's by gap today... we had pad thai...pretty good... somehow i love thai food...cuz i used to go to my HS thai friends for their parties and stuff. and they always treat me with thai food... like, hot hot noodle, tom yum gong soup or coconut soup, some thai style hot and sour salad..^_^ and.. some hot "tofu-jello"...i dont know...those food just remind me of the good times we used to share and stuff... sigh..and remind me how time has gone by pretty fast.

sigh.. i'm almost done listening to 20sections of the radio program in hk called blue diamond sky...each section is about 17-20mins long... gosh, i spent around 400mins on this already...scary...so productive huh? but...i learn a lot from this...very strangely...but..oh well.
she asked me him if he doesnt like anything about her....he couldnt think of any...so he asked her the same question about himself. she said, "hmmm....you miss me too often..." eason was like, "hmm, well, a forgetful person could remind himself by writing more self-notes,etc...but, what about a person who misses another person so much that he couldn't control himself or that he doesnt even realize..."

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happy birthday to me~ ^_^ got tons of icq bday greetings this week, heee, then got 2phone calls at exactly 12midnite...thx, krojen... yay~ i have a huge huge bunny now..hee, besides my other bunnies...i saw this one some time ago.. didnt get it cuz it's too big, wouldnt know what to do with it...even it's very cute... hehee, thank you, girls. num kam and her crew~ =P i was smiling last nite when i went to bed...how scary is that? it's like...i finally smile after these moody days. thanks to god who brought me these friends and num kum..hahha, jk~

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argh, stupid blue diamond sky!! it's soo sad... it's like, i felt their heartache...sigh...stupid online boardcast!!! argh...goshes..anyway..me done w/chem at last!! yes~~ ^___^ but still got a prelab quiz to do...sigh. so fun, rite?

by the way, the scary movie i saw last time was called "fear faith revenge".... to my pet-human: hi, hong hong. =p

have been moody lately...so strange...

anyway, listening to metro radio's chinese program in hk...blue diamond sky... it's so touching...*sniffs* it's soooo sweet... especially the girl's innocent voice and eason's feeling in his words and thoughts.... sigh... ^^ this is like the..hmm, only thing that makes me really happy and feeling refresh... sigh. stupid enl paper... finding historic event that happened on ur bday....it seems really easy... but it's so hard to find such events.... i finally found something that happened on my bday...great, now i have no other choice than to write a paper about a baseball player who broke the record on my bday.... sigh.... so fun, eh?

omg... blue diamond sky is sooooooooo cute.....awwww, they are so sweet....=^________________^=

it's so nice to receive so many bday greetings on icq...aww...i'm still virtually loved. (sigh) thank u all who wished me a happy bday ^^ denise asked me whats my bday wish is....i said, none. i stop believing in wishes. praying works better than wishing ba. anyway...there are too much to be listed if i start wishing... so yeah, i might as well not to form such a list. i dont know, i'm not very hopeful about future..therefore, i'm just like whatever... whatever that is gonna happen today, bring it on. anyway, so full now..i'm content ^^ finally got jumba juice..though it's cold now..crap! whats da point?? aiya.... anyhoo... i feel sick..keep on sneezing..hmm... ok, got not much to say here for now...

mood for now: "just like the eating sushi bar, i'll eat whatever that comes to me. -eason fr blue diamond sky"

*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*
ADVERSITY
*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*
A daughter complained to her father about her life and how
things were so hard for her. She did not how she was going
to make it and wanted to give up.She was tired of fighting and
struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved a new one arose.
Her father, a chef, took her to the kitchen. He filled three pots with
water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to a boil.
In one he placed carrots, in the second he placed eggs, and the last
he placed ground coffee beans. He let them sit and boil, without
saying a word.

The daughter sucked her teeth and impatiently waited, wondering what
he was doing. In about twenty minutes he turned off the burners. He
fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. He pulled the eggs out
and placed them a bowl. Then he ladled the coffee out and placed it in a
mug.

Turning to her he asked. "Darling, what do you see."

"Carrots, eggs, and coffee," she replied.

He brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted
that they were soft. He then asked her to take an egg and break it. After
pulling off the shell, she observed the hard-boiled egg. Finally, he asked
her
to sip the coffee. She smiled as she tasted its rich aroma.

She humbly asked. "What does it mean Father?"

He explained that each of them had faced the same adversity, boiling water,
but each reacted differently.

The carrot went in strong, hard, and unrelenting. But after being subjected
to
the boiling water, it softened and became weak.

The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid
interior.
But after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened.

The ground coffee beans were unique however. After they were in the
boiling water, they had changed the water.

"Which are you," he asked his daughter. "When adversity knocks on
your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg, or a coffee bean? "

*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*

How about you my friend? Are you the carrot that seems hard, but with
pain and adversity do you wilt and become soft and lose your strength?

Are you the egg, which starts off with a malleable heart? Were you a
fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a divorce, or a layoff have you
become hardened and stiff. Your shell looks the same, but are you bitter
and tough with a stiff spirit and heart?

Or are you like the coffee bean? The bean changes the hot water, the
thing that is bringing the pain, to its peak flavor when it reaches 312
degrees
Fahrenheit. When the water gets the hottest, it just tastes better.

If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and
make things better around you.

How do you handle adversity? Are you a carrot, an egg, or a coffee bean?

i got nothing done this weekend. why is that??? why!!!?? argh. and who the hell is IDumpILing??? what?! buggie? wut? anyway...just finished watching american pie2...it was funny...hmmm, it just seems like another american pie1 but with better scenes and story lines... and how sweet of the band camp girl..awww...and finchie..hehee...hilar. anyhoo...i better read for english tonight..>_< aww, crap.

there are like 10mosquitoes outside our dorm right now..so nasty...like they are all flying in our hallway...cuz someone opened the window without leaving the screen on...how dumb is that? it's nearly summer!! please! common sense~ yuck! they are those huge mosquitoes you'd find in any forest...yes, davis is a farmland.

another busy and exhausting day... i got up so many times to get the door and the phone this morning...$!#$#!@...will people leave ME alone?? fuck...borrowing my bike in the early morning?? u nutz??!!! argh. anyway... lots of walking again today... my poor legs...>_< hmm, got lost finding sacramento today and wasted like an hour to get back. darn...anyways, my driving is getting better ^^ still havent scratch the solara or anything, thank god! yes, i'm grateful about this, the car and I are both blessed. ^_^ tasks for tonite: english reading and hw. gonna go socialize tonite with the girls again..aiya~

I HATE DAVIS!!! it's soooo hot today!! >_< hello~ it's only april!!! please! i dont need the heat all at once...leave it for the summer..it's now spring!

oh oh oh, anyone have \fictions of this famous female author (yik su) i can borrow?? please~~~ mah chinese has gotten worse >_< my worst nightmare...sigh~ i need to pick up my chinese reading habit again..before i seriously turn into an ABC. sigh. roomie asked me if i'm gonna stay in the states for life...i said, yes, without hesitation. yes yes, "yes" is still my answer, sadly. i dont think i'll go back to hk to live there. i dont belong there. hk is only good for tourists. and being a tourist myself can stimulate hk's economy! ^_^ hehee, so why dont i just be a tourist rather than a citizen? sigh... yes, i no longer belong to hk. i will not fit in if i live there. oh well. it's all cool. those who are related to me by blood are all here with me. yes, they are stuck with me. muahaha.

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lemme see, where to start for today's entry? davis is hot today!! goshes...it was still hot at nite. anyway, woke up late for class as always...^^|| ai~ hmm, blah blah blah... went to roomie's apartment to watch an hr of TV today, there's this kids program that is like "fear factor" except it's for kids!! so funny...i really wanna see that, too bad i dont have cable in dorms. anyhoo, then drove to nugget's and got my nugget's gold membership (free =P) and got another box of cereal.. yes, this time is shredded wheat. oh, nugget's service is very very good. i haven't met so many polite white people and others in such a long time. nugget's is very very nice. harvest is shit! hrm, then wenta gap and strings to eat. didnt tip the waitress very much, i'm sorry, you were very nice to us..but but but...we're just poor college students. UCD has riped us off...well, or should i say it has stripped us? hmm... then we wenta wait for the bus for more than an hour...gave up and walked to anderson court fr adobe and waited for G/C line for another 40mins... then finally (and i repeat, FINALLY) realized that there's no nite service on fri. SIGH *pulls my hair* so, we basically wandered on the streets for...4-5hours today. so scary...and i was with roomie too *shivers* just kidding~ ...but my legs are sore now... tired...not exhausted yet... YET. and tonite went to my pet-human's room to socialize...and helped her to move around stuff in her room. please, me not computer expert...please..i just happened to finally learn how to unplug/plug in stuff onto my computer...that's it...oh, and to burn CDs..hehee... yups yups, gotta get back to watch ghost story with her and others now...cant believe i finished typing this long entry in like 5mins...and i better leave b4 they come down and get me...aiya... g'nite, everyone and da bugs. =P

yes, me back for more yapping, some girls aren't done drying their long hair yet!! sigh, tsk tsk tsk, this is the time when you love my hair. *smiles with white white teeth showing* ^+++++^
my legs are seriously sore now...i can't even stand it to stand for a while... so tired... plan for tmr, fun fun fun in the afternoon and pain pain pain in the evening. fun=shopping and eating out. pain=hws, studying, books, lots of chem/mus/enl. DOHH. uh... there're so many things i was trying to put down here...dohh...hmmm...anyways, saw lots of duckies today ^o^ sooo adorable...i wonder how'd they taste if they were all roasted? *chuckles* i mean, hmm, .....(sub in any good reason to put off what i just wrote there,thx mucho). oooh, drove solara again...too big, or am i just too short n stuff for it? whatever! anyways, i drove it, so yeah.

so weird, while we were walking to MU today..i just felt..so depressed. for what? i dont know...just din feel like doing anything at all. just wanted to sit in front of my comp and open up my books and waste time. i dunno, this is so suckie...how come i feel like i've lost all of my motivation and goals in life?? what's up with that? and i was pondering in my shower about why am i behaving this way lately?....i'm tired, gonna give up now...i think, i already forgot how to love after being so "contaminated" by like, media, books, personal experiences, others' experiences,etc. it's like, i already lost the sincerity that one will always put in her first relationship. i lost my enthusiasm. i became too socially constructed...and i hate this cuz i'm rememberin' stuff fr sociology!!! argh. ^^||| yeah, sign of split personality there, huh? sorrie for scaring ya... but it's okay. i wont' bite. yet. yes yes, maybe i really need to be a real girl again. well, i have a feeling that i wont leave my hair long at least in this year...so peeps, gotta wait for da show. hah!

recommendations for the lyrics in victor's album:
"arguement(lyric)",
"window" (lyric),
"tough man"(lyric).
here's a few fav lines fr da songs.


µ¡(WIMDOWS) ³¯¥q¿«

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been listening to a few new albums that i could finally download..hee, yes. a little comment wanna make about victor chen's latest album, listen: victor chen. my first impression of his songs was "aww, man, it's not good!" after listening to his songs and reading along the lyrics, oh gosh, victor did put in a lot of effort in carrying out the meaning of the lyric and the melody. hmmmm, i'm not sure who wrote the lyrics but i'm sure victor wrote some of them as he often does with his songs. he's not so cute and all, but... i'm just amazed by his effort and the time he spent on his singing. his seriousness about his music just surprises me. anyway, no, i'm not in love with him. just his attitude. and his lyrics. ^_^ gosh, you dont know how much i admire his writing skill in chinese.

i love UCD!! i love everyone. i'm just in this happy happy mood right now. u dont know how depressed i was for days ever since my connection was going slow and all mp3 sites were down. sigh, yes, it's pretty sad. anyhoo, i realized that i could dl mp3s last nite so i stayed up till 2..hee..^^|| yeah, i'm obsessed w/free mp3s, who's not? =P anyway, i'm still dling mp3s right now... sigh, gotta catch up downloading the albums that were up like 2-3weeks ago.. yes, am just too happy and need to share it w/da world~ yes yes, it's illegal and bad...but but but...well, i guess u guys can arrest me later on. but life's all good once again.

omg, i'm nutz!

Disorder	Rating
Paranoid:	Moderate
Schizoid:	High
Schizotypal:	Low
Antisocial:	Moderate
Borderline:	Low
Histrionic:	High
Narcissistic:	Very High
Avoidant:	Moderate
Dependent:	Low
Obsessive-Compulsive:	Low
-- Click Here To Take The Test --

ANSWERS:
1. (talk)
2. (legs)
3. (a twenty dollar bill)
4. (firetruck)
5. (bunt, hunt, runt, punt, aunt)
6. (pants)
7. (fork)
8. (Almond Joy candy bar)
9. (grit)
10. (last name)

GET YOUR MIND OUT OF THE GUTTER (answers will be posted tmr)

1). What is a four-letter word that ends in k and means the same as intercourse?

2). What is it that a cow has four of and a woman has only two of?

3). What can you find in a man's pants that is about six inches long, has a head on it, and that women love so much that they often blow it?

4). What word starts with f and ends with u-c-k?

5). Name five words that are each four letters long, end in u-n-t, one of which is a word for a woman?

6). What does a dog do that you can step into?

7). What four letter word begins with f and ends with k, and if you can't get one you can use your hands?

8). What is hard, six inches long, has two nuts, and can make a girl fat?

9). What four-letter word ends in i-t and is found on the bottom of birdcages?

10). What is it that all men have one of; it's longer on some men than on others; the pope doesn't use his; and a man gives it to his wife after they're married?

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finally got to eat an ice cream cone after a few days of longing for it..hee, yes, i long for a lot of junk food basically everyday. =P roomie's sick...her voice changed..hehe, so hilarious, her voice is deeper than mine!! thats an odd feeling to see another girl w/a deeper voice than mine. so funny..oh no, her deep voice is gone!! argh, i told her that i dont love her anymore..hehee...anyways, took me 30mins to finish eating an 7oz king size ice cream cone..that's very very strange. hmmm, i'm guessing i just put on another 15grams of fats on me...dohh...fine, i'll eat less junk food from now on to make it equal. hrmm, whats new for today? oh yeah, very productive today! yes! and just realize how much i have to do for english...(awww, crap!)

a little scene that broke my heart for the nite:
roomie: hold my hand! come on...
me: *ignores*
roomie: hello~ hold my hand!!
me: *ignores*
after 4mins...
roomie: "hold my hand!"
me: *gives her my hand*
roomie: *smiles*
me: "you're mine if you hold my hand..."
roomie: *lets go of my hand*
me: "................" *heart broken*

thx, roomie!!
ok, enuf of her....whatever...go away, roomie.

after threatening...
me: "so, are u mine? you hold my hand"
roomie: "no!"
after more theatening...
me: "are u mine?"
roomie: *nods*
me: "what are you?"
roomie: "yours..."
me: "who is mine?"
roomie: "....uh....*points at herself*"
me: "who is mine?"
roomie: "christina..."
me: "christina is what?"
roomie: "............christina is maggy's........."
theatening ends.
roomie: "NOT!!"
me: *ignores*
roomie: "NOT!!!"


have been chatting w/krojen on icq this week..^^ thats nice to talk to her more directly and that we are both actually online at the same time...it's pretty rare. anyhoo...
i lost my watch and my chapstick...whats up wth that? aww, my watch is gone! for the fourth time~ why? .........$%!@#$!@.........fudge. stupid english class where i lost my watch in and couldnt find any trace of it afterward.

SHOPPING MATH
>A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
>A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.
>
>GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
>A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
>A man neverworries about the future until he gets a wife.
>A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can
>spend.
>A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
>
>HAPPINESS
>To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love
>him a little.
>To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to
>understand her at all.
>
>LONGEVITY
>Married men live longer than single men.But married men are a
>lot more willing to die.
>
>MEMORY
>Any married man should forget his mistakes.There's no use in two
>people remembering the same thing.
>
>APPEARANCE
>Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
>Women somehow deteriorate during the night
>
>PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
>A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
>A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she
>does.
>
>DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
>A woman has the last word in any argument.
>Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new
>argument.
>
>COMPREHENSION
>There are 2 times when a man doesn't understand a woman. Before
>marriage and after marriage
>
>HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED:
>Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the
>ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after
>I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.


As many of us may do every year in making new
year resolutions...... here is something I find
encouraging and would like to share with you.
These items remind me of putting things in the
right perspective.......

1. Give God what's right -- not what's left.
2. Man's way leads to a hopeless end -- God's way
leads to an endless hope.
3. A lot of kneeling will keep you in good
standing.
4. He who kneels before God can stand before
anyone.
5. In the sentence of life, the devil may be a
comma --but never let him be the period.
6. Don't put a question mark where God puts a
period.
7. Are you wrinkled with burden? Come to the
church for a face-lift.
8. When praying, don't give God instructions --
just report for duty.
9. Don't wait for six strong men to take you to
church.
10. We don't change God's message -- His message
changes us.
11. The church is prayer-conditioned.
12. When God ordains, He sustains.
13. WARNING: Exposure to the Son may prevent
burning.
14. Plan ahead -- It wasn't raining when Noah
built the ark.
15. Most people want to serve God, but only in an
advisory position.
16. Suffering from truth decay? Brush up on your
Bible.
17. Exercise daily -- walk with the Lord.
18. Never give the devil a ride -- he will always
want to drive.
19. Nothing else ruins the truth like stretching
it.
20. Compassion is difficult to give away because
it keeps coming back.
21. He who angers you controls you.
22. Worry is the darkroom in which negatives can
develop.
23. Give Satan an inch & he'll be a ruler.
24. Be ye fishers of men -- you catch them &
He'll clean them.
25. God doesn't call the qualified, He qualifies
the called.
26. Read the Bible -- It will scare the hell out
of you.



I asked God to take away my pain.
God said, No.
It is not for me to take away,
but for you to give it up.
I asked God to make my handicapped child whole.
God said, No.
His spirit is whole, his body is only temporary.
I asked God to grant me patience.
God said, No.
Patience is a byproduct of tribulations;
it isn't granted, it is learned.
I asked God to give me happiness.
God said, No.
I give you blessings.
Happiness is up to you.
I asked God to spare me pain.
God said, No.
Suffering draws you apart from worldly cares
and brings you closer to me.
I asked God to make my spirit grow.
God said, No.
You must grow on your own,
but I will prune you to make you fruitful.
I asked God for all things that I might enjoy life.
God said, No.
I will give you life,
so that you may enjoy all things.
I ask God to help me LOVE others, as much as He loves me.
God said...Ahhhh, finally you have the idea.

woke up at 7:20 by my stand-by alarm clock, whew, thank god! slept in math and feel so much better now. had decent lunch ^^ yes, start to enjoy dorm food, hmmm, oh well. finally had another peanut butter n jelly sandwish after 2days of longing for it. anyways, that's it, no more fattening peanut butter. got 6packs of cherry mentos just in case they take another 2weeks to restock the candies!! hee, yea, and i need cherry mentos to feed a kido (hee, jk). plan for today: finish up hw's and read for chem. possibly listen to more classical music tonite. ai.

thx to our school internet server for being down for a long time last nite...i was able to close every messenger, turn off my computer and go to bed before 1am. that's an improvement. hmmm, sign of lack of self-control there. omg, just realize i dont have class until 4pm. which means i have at least 4hours to procrastinate, uh, to study! to study is the word. =p

did listening logs for music, math hw, and read for chem tonite. pretty productive...but still needa catch up and hopefully study ahead.
internet is down... is dying on everyone..great, i'll just go to bed...btw, it's now 12:20am.

had a good nite of sleep last nite. ^o^ yay~ slept for..9-10hrs..sigh of joy. life's good again. anyhoo, got lots to catch up on today. it's only tuesday~ aww, cant wait till weekend~ ^^ anyway, forgot what i was gonna say here.

ok, just spent like 3hrs on my stupid chem lab write up..altho i wasn't helpful to my lab partner...*la la la*...but but but..yea, me tired.. and me not getting chem ma.. wait till midterm la, i'll be dead. aiya.. stupid music listening log...hafta listen to classical music or some other music for 2hrs every week and take notes onthem. hmm, maybe i should start putting some of my opinion on my chinese music too. hmmm, maybe, hip hops i listen to?? oh, but it's hard to know who composed them..hmm, sigh, fine, i'll go listen to some classical online boardcast and concerts. saw duckies today ^^ havent seen em in a while... did colorgenics today. it said that i'm stressed and exhausted,etc...blah blah blah... like everything is going against my way or sumthing... i was like, oh, it is? hmmm, i dunno... i dont wanna find out.. ^^|| but anyway, i'm fine. i think i'm in a happy state now. nothing upsetting or unpleasant happens. so i guess i should be grateful for a peaceful life ba. life's good. i just need to be a bit more focus on my task here..then i'll get more things done b4 it's too late!! >_< dont wanna rush through midterms and stuff...aiya...i think it's coming next next week too..got a paper due on wed! *scream*...aiya...should sleep now..hafta get up early tmr. take care, y'all.

woke up like 20mins b4 class this morning..totally forgot to change my alarm clocks. yes, i use 2alarm clocks now, just in case. thank god, the second one is still "unused" so far... *chuckles* anyhoo, forgot about my class at 1 until my fd called to remind me..OPPS... i was relaxing in my dorm, trying to get something done too... hehe, my bad. hmm, then wenta the rest of the classes on time, ahem, yes, on time. hmmm... roomie is still sick...like very very ill. hmm, roomie was surprised that i haven't gotten sick by her... i was like, well, it's only monday, u know...hmm,maybe i should really go home for da weekend. ^^ working on my chem hw now..it's so boring... i'm falling asleep too...maybe taking a shower will help. ok, me shall be back to bug u more.

today is so hot...omg...i was dying in my ride from SJ to davis... goshes, almost got tan on my neck and arms. anyways, i'm in dorm now.. miss my dorm and computer... kinda tired today fr lack of sleep last nite. slept at 4 n got up at 11:30. edited lots of pics and uploaded em onto my website... so y'all can check out my hamsters and stuff =^.^= they are adorable as always. ahem, got lots to catch up by tonite and have to get ready for another busy day. roomie begged me to go shopping with her on the weekend, but i refused cuz she broke my heart earlier.
mac: "see, i'm staying here for u! since ur here all by urself too and ur bday is coming up... i had to tell my family so many times that i'm not going home next weekend for u!!"
roomie: "uh huh, shoo, i dont want u here. go home."
mac: ".............what?"
roomie: "u dont have to stay..u can go home.."
mac: "........%!#$#!......fine!!!"

now...
roomie: "come on, let's go shopping on saturday, u can drive us there~"
me: "no, i'm going home, i'm not wanted here, remember?"
roomie: "let's go shopping!"
me: "naw,i dont like shopping... u can go ahead and go shop by urself."
roomie: "c'mon, we're going to shop on sat."
me: "oh, u are? good for u.. where are u gonna go? i'm gonna go home. have fun~"
roomie: "no! with u! ur going with me!! right?"
me: "no, not after someone broke my heart into milion pieces."
roomie: "when? i was just kidding~ couldnt u tell that i was joking?"
me: "no, my heart is broken."

just now...we are all studying for our listening quiz for music tmr..
roomie: "do u have an extra scantron i can borrow?"
me: "yeah.."
roomie: "can i have one?"
me: "okay, scantron or shopping?"
roomie: "scantron"
me:"scantron or shopping?"
roomie: "no, both!"
me: "scantron or shopping?"
roomie: "fine, scantron!"
me: "..."
roomie: "i'll bug u tmr about going to shop on saturday, hah!"

why do i feel this jealousy when i know there's no chance nor anything that goes on between us? this sux. feeling that i'm the third person or actually i'm trying to be the third person but i really am nothing right now............... uh, i guess... i just want to give it a little more time and perhaps the dim hope will sorta lighten up a bit or something. anyway, i think this is gonna be my last time in liking someone in this way that i've been for years..i'm just tired of being abnormal in the eyes of the society. i need a break and perhaps a normal life. i'm so tired, it's already 4, why am i still here? hmmmm, nothing, i just miss blogger and talking to myself on blogger, sigh. not done w/music reading too...oh well...

went to see ice age with ada today...ice age is sooo cute ^.^ awww, me love scrat and the mammoth the most. hehe, scrat reminds me of my hamster...except that my hamster isn't that silly and..yeah, ahem. missed a right turn today on the way to cupertino and took me an extra 30mins to get to ada's house. dohh! so i went window shopping in greatmall... saw so many families and HS kids. i ended up buying stuff...which rarely happens when i go shop with fds... i just dont feel comfortable shopping with fds..i dunno why...i always make my mom or bro to go with me..hehe, same reason given by buggie i guess. =p anyhoo...had fun today...and next fun thing i'm gonna do tonite is to read another chapter for music... yay~ so mucho fun, sigh. anyhoo, glad that u had fun, ada.

finally done editing all pics i took since vancouver till today. hehee, took a long while for me to finish editing them too... well, i hafta finish them b4 i go back to davis ma... or else i'll forget and never upload em onto my website. hmmm, realized i didnt take much pics in vancouver..but oh well, it's all stored in my memory ma~ ^^||| (kinda lame huh?) anyhoo, i better go write a fd an email in chinese b4 i go back to my dorm using my comp without a chinese tool to write with. ta~

got home at 7pm tonite...kinda late..but oh well, i'm home at last. highway 680 seems so unfamiliar to me now...this is sooo strange! i swear, it looks totally different to me when it gets to benicia to vollejo...i was like, where am i?? looking outside just to get a clue... or is it becuz i always sleep thru my ride? aiya..this is bad...i dont go home anymore that i start to forget how the freeway is like tim..opps. anyhoo.. got a hair cut tonite...it's so short now..feeling strange.. dun feel like dying my hair again.. my poor hair is finally back to its healthy state after a few times of dying...i sorta miss my natural brown hair la..hehe...
ate so much tonight too, mom cooked so much chicken dishes just becuz i'm crazy for chicken wings... hehee... yes.. and i had mangoes for desert..omg, they are so good.. anyways, i felt like as if i were a grateful homeless who hasnt eaten for a week or something. ^^|||

argh, buggie already saw resident evo tonite... darn...now i have to make roomie to go with me if i want to go see it. and i'm afraid how roomie is gonna either hold on to my arm or pull my hair when she watches it. hmmmm, should i go or should i not go? hehehe.. i'm so tired now...was gonna sleep, but ended up yapping here...whats wrong with me? ok ok, me sorta scanned pics fr vancouver and pics of roomie ma... and put away my winter clothes too. ok, i'm getting bored of writing what i do everyday here now... it's so boring, how can u stand reading it? u must be weird too. nite.

got home at 7pm tonite...kinda late..but oh well, i'm home at last. highway 680 seems so unfamiliar to me now...this is sooo strange! i swear, it looks totally different to me when it gets to benicia to vollejo...i was like, where am i?? looking outside just to get a clue... or is it becuz i always sleep thru my ride? aiya..this is bad...i dont go home anymore that i start to forget how the freeway is like tim..opps. anyhoo.. got a hair cut tonite...it's so short now..feeling strange.. dun feel like dying my hair again.. my poor hair is finally back to its healthy state after a few times of dying...i sorta miss my natural brown hair la..hehe...
ate so much tonight too, mom cooked so much chicken dishes just becuz i'm crazy for chicken wings... hehee... yes.. and i had mangoes for desert..omg, they are so good.. anyways, i felt like as if i were a grateful homeless who hasnt eaten for a week or something. ^^|||

argh, buggie already saw resident evo tonite... darn...now i have to make roomie to go with me if i want to go see it. and i'm afraid how roomie is gonna either hold on to my arm or pull my hair when she watches it. hmmmm, should i go or should i not go? hehehe.. i'm so tired now...was gonna sleep, but ended up yapping here...whats wrong with me? ok ok, me sorta scanned pics fr vancouver and pics of roomie ma... and put away my winter clothes too. ok, i'm getting bored of writing what i do everyday here now... it's so boring, how can u stand reading it? u must be weird too. nite.

almost every part of my body is sore..except my head *hint hint, roomie* OOOUCH *groans for another 15mins*
nothing much for the day...waiting to go home..yay~ and trying to finish math hw now so ngan can take da math book home. yes, i'm still in pain. *cries*

ok ok, better go read for chem a bit so i dont hafta carry it home with me for the week. yes, chem, how will i survive without you~?? SIGH. not!

had a dream about meeting my icq friend-krojen. i wenta singapore i supposed. the place was nice. the whole dream was pretty pleasant. saw a cute guy there too. hmm, and i dunno how to describe what i saw la. just remembered i enjoyed being there at the place law..like the weather, the environment, and da peeps there. anyhoo, meeting her is not gonna happen any time soon la. at least in 1-2yrs. will i ever go to singapore in the 4yrs ahead? prolly not... so lets hope that krojen will come to the states within these 4yrs..hehe... but anyhoo... it's cool to know that someone cares for me as much as my close fds in san jose yet is the furthest away from me. thx again, krojen.

my buddy, fox, wenta FL this week~~ yes and i envy her!! ^^ oh well, i've been sending her text msgs whenever i'm bored. i told her to get more sun burnt. hehee and i sent her like a few times at 2-3am and like 8 in the morning.... she finally replies, "omg, do u even sleep?" hehehe... well, yes, i hafta wake up at 7 tmr for class and i'm still here yapping... i better go b4 my murderous princess finds out. *hides*

i'm in love w/Enrique Iglesias' songs... listening to his "be with u" now...it's so sad... anyhoo...not in the mood to BS here on my dear blogger.

good morning, everyone! ^.^ *stretches* forced myself to get up this morning... gonna go to gym later w/den.. that girl was still sleeping! hehee..anyways, i'm in a good mood today..feeling pretty well after getting up...altho weather is not as nice as the past few days. who cares, i dont have classes today! ^___^ and i finished reading the first chapter for music too. whew~ some of the stuff i already knew so i skipped a lot...hee...

i am so tired...but but but, lemme finish another 7pages of my lovely textbook for music... i must make a deal with myself saying that i wont get to sleep unless i finish reading another 7pages.. yes, it's a good motivation..hehee, and those who think i'm weird and stupid: HUSH UP!

changed to english1 instead of english3. dun like the way that prof grades...oh well...thank god there was room for eng1.whew~ hmm, i'm so tired..better sleep..going to work out tmr in the morning, thx mucho to my ex-lab partner..hehee...nite

i'm happy...^^ in a satisfied mood... i guess it's becuz i had a decent dinner tonite.. didnt eat too much like b4.. gotta cut it down.. one of these days i'm gonna skip lunch or dinner just to finish my cereal... yes, cereal makes a meal at any time in college. sick of honeycomb now.. moving on to post's honey bunches of oats w/almonds. roomie likes junior mints now *yay* NOW i love her...hehe, jk~ =P

slept at 1sth last nite and woke up at 7:20 by a morning call fr my "pet-human" (aka my current lab partner). i did not make her my pet-human, she volunteered and wanted to be one. i swear. this is like the only time i'd tell u that i'm not lying w/total sincerity. u can say that she's strange sometimes (HI, my so called half human half mouse) but oh well, she seems to have fun being my pet..i guess i'm a good master then..hehee, so, who else wants to be my pet too? pls make an appointment with me between 1am-5am saturday-sunday. call to my dorm phone at 530-754-0190. =P

rested on my desk for an hour this afternoon b4 heading to english class. felt so much better in class. roomie was like falling asleep in class.. and i was just totally alert throughout the whole time ^0^ (yay~) i love poetry~ NOT!!! my prof is weird.. our in-class participation is worth 15% of the grade, and each of our essay is worth 15% also!! our midterm and final are worth 10% each. WTF! what's wrong with her? ^@%$@ *~~~RAWRRR~~~*

saw lots of duckies on campus today..hehee, i like the way they quack and look at the peeps around with horror..hehee... i dunno, maybe this is why my own duckie hates my guts too..hehee.. yes yes, i used to love scaring her too.. like, pat her and stuff.. which all duckies hate, i suppose. anyway, i dun like patting her now.. she smells like down blanket...and i hate that smell...hehee, yes, i'm not kidding..this is why down blankets smell~ it's prolly duckies' body odor..hahahaa, okay, just kidding~ but duckies do smell like down blankets. nasty!! just like xtina!! roomie and her yucky down blanket. i wanna see her die in her down blanket in summer. *evil laughters* heheee. yes, i'm evo. some people think that i'm only joking around when i admit that i'm evil, but i'm not! yes, those of u reading this should know by now. muahahaha.

Lonesome 4/19/00

He chases after her,
just to see her eyes.
She follows after him,
just to see him shine.
She leaves before twilight,
he rests upon moonlight.


Promise to Him

Once upon a time when I look up,
there is nothing.
Years of journey I travel through
without shoulder to lean on.
When the book is flipped,
my sorrow is shifted.
The one that endures our foolishness
will forever be followed.
One day I'll be sincerely bear
the cross within me.


these used to be my fav quotes.. blogger is such a great place to store these precious quotes when ur email account is too full.

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oh yeah, i accidentedly threw away my student ID card into the recycle bin today...yeah, thank god i realized and found it!!! dun even think about recycling my ID card!! hee

today is sunny and not hot!!! it's such a beautiful day too....sigh~ i just dont seem to enjoy it.... but i saw duckies everywhere on campus today! ^___^ and i'm very surprised that i'm still alive after carrying..5-6lbs of books around for 3hours... i know my back is gonna kill me tmr...>_< can i freeze the time? sigh.... today is so so nice... it's like a perfect day at davis. but i'm soo tired!! have 2hws for eng...hmmm, maybe i shouldnt take a nap...ouch... i'm too tired to type and to repeat what really happened today... so sick of my books now...argh, stupid and unwanted books!! go away~ oh oh, but then i'm really surprised what my back and leg muscles can do in 4hours law..hahaha...yes, i'm not too weak physically~ =p g'nite, ppl.

ok, i slept 7 hrs on mon nite, then 5-6hrs on sun nite and only 5hrs of sleep last nite... i better sleep early today b4 i wilt and die at last...*not very happy, pouts n frowns*

sorry, krojen for "ditching" u on icq like that tonite.. i'm really tired...physically tired... so, maybe i'll just get back to u tmr or later.

do i know my roomie well?? hmm... i'd say i only know part of her. there are many things that a person is not going to tell her roommate.. i mean, it's becuz of the socially contructed idea that roommates can be close but they are not related indeed, therefore, roommates are still like.. non-super-close-fds. hmmm... hehee, i dunno why did i even start talking about this here... i dunno, it's sad that i dun truly know roomie well...but.. it'd be a pain to know exactly what she went through in life. i'd rather not know about that. but i think, we should be one of the pairs of roommates who are very close to each other in our M building. ^_^ thats all it matters rite? hehee... yes yes, she lob me, not sure about me tho..hehhee, jk~ it's the other way around... i love my roomie~ and if she ever cheats on me, i'm gonna........................*errie music goes on* hmm, all i can say is that i'm glad and very grateful that i met mah roomie and how we became really close and sorta attached to each other (?)... this is a really different experience for me to be so close to someone whom i met for only 6months or so... very strange, i think xtina has put a spell on me!! ^_* just kidding~ i guess i'm typing all this here is becuz i'm afraid of losing her..haha, not! i mean, imagining how we gonna leave our dorm in june and be settled in our own apartments for next year... we'll never have the chance to talk late at nite, laugh, hurt each other (=P),etc like what we do in our dorm. *sigh* it's such a sad thing to picture now...okay, i better leave now.
hmm.... well, she's not my best roomie (since there was no one to compare her with), but... if i had a choice, she'll be the only one i wanna room with next year. (thank god i dont have a choice~ JK!! hehe) anyhoo, yeah, me having single room next yr... okie, very late now..me very tired...got lots of hws to do tmr..dohh!! stupid english class. so many hws~ so many readings~ argh~ i have 100pages to go in a nite...DOHH! gonna sell my books tomorrow too.. and for music10, it seems hard... hmm, i listened to the CD for a few times today... track 1-3 are horrible..omg... even denise couldnt stand it..haha...anyhoo... i'm dozing off....ZzzzZz

"I dont know where to meet guys. when i'm meant to be with someone, he'll find me."-Keri Russel

do i believe in true love? i do. then what did i consider those relationships in the past as? none of those was my true love. therefore, it wasn't meant to be for us to be together. i was in love but i guess it wasn't my destination. i'm pretty sure that i've been pretty sincere in every relationship. like, no cheating on people or "playing" with others' feeling and stuff. i'm only 18, why do i worry? hah! yes, it's been my attitude in these recent years. kinda like "everything is okay at the end, if it's not okay, then it's not the end."

couldnt sleep last nite too..yes, too excited about first day of school..hehee =p yup yup... aw, man, gotta start listening to classical music fr now on...and i'll get to go to concerts on thurs ^_^ yay~ at least i have something fun to do on thurs since i dont have any class that day~ *chuckles* okie, i'm very hungry and waiting for roomie to come back so we can go eat together.

davis is so hot today...it's only april!!! please! and i believe we still have heaters in our dorms, hello~ ppl, pls switch it to central AC already!

.........woke up at 7 cuz i had a nitemare. dreamt of WW III. i was trying to use mattresses to block our door just in case when a bomb hit us. mom was there telling me that she din think that my mattress would work. sigh...it was scary...just the part where we were waiting to die and din know when is the bomb gonna hit our house. WTF! why in the world did i have a dream like that? i even told my mom in my dream that i'd probably see her in hell too cuz i know i dont deserve to go to heaven yet. anyway, the whole dream was just about us waiting and hearing bombings.... den i woke up and couldn't tell where was i... it was 7 so i knew i had to get up...but i prayed anyway. is this a sign or just my wild imagination? ^^||||||| anyway, i'm fine now... all calm and stuff... not frightened anymore. it's so sunny out there ^.^