ok, i'm feeling very sick on new year's eve. fun, huh? been sleeping for most of the day. sigh~ until i couldnt fall asleep. i realized i'm as naughty as my hamster; it's like i need to get up and walk around even when i'm very sick. so, i spent 2hrs watching "taste of love" and went back to nap until dinner. dont feel like eating any solid food now, thats why i'm hungry >_< well, thats sth new for new year's eve than how i spent all the other times on firework shows on TV.

suddenly miss the time when roomie chats on my aim, checks if her crush is on aim,etc. ^_^ hehe, it's just cute now, but annoying at the time. anyway, yeah, i still have her crush's sn...thats the odd part. lets call it her ex-crush. cuz roomie still loves me. =P

u know, it's strange how i havent talked to my les buddies for a long time. i actually had fun chatting tonite. i've always doubted her. not very sure cuz she's not obvious. damn, i lost! (cuz i always have a good sense in telling les/gay from others, except this one!) lori always asks how could i be so sure when i tell her that person is gay. ^^ i was never that sensitive until..hmm...senior year. i dont know, somehow i just got the talent all of a sudden. maybe from ally. oh yea, talked to him on aim and told him that my school starts next week. he said i sux!!!! argh. not that i want to go back to school (or go to school at all) if i had a choice.

i want to watch "lavender" so badly~ cuz i heard it's good. oooh, still need to watch meteor garden ONE.

life's been peaceful and slow. ahhh, so good. got one more week to enjoy the very last taste of it too. anyway, been doing everything i've longed to do during school days, eating as much as i want, being as lazy as i want,etc. ^_* yeah, life at home is awesome. maybe it's kinda good to be seeing family members instead of housemates, classmates, friends fr college, and studying for a while...it's like taking a break from the usual daily routine. u know, it's funny how internet became a luxury that i dont need at all here. it's a good thing cuz i'm no longer addicted to it.
btw, happy new year! to my friends who live close or far from me yet mentally close to me. oh yea, just lied to my friend that i have to stay home to have dinner with my family so i could stay home tmr night. hmm, oh well.

merry xmas, everyone~ whoa! it's xmas! hrm, a year has gone by fast! anyway, not a custom to me to make new year's resolution. naw...i'll change when things happen =P had dinner with my family tonite. mom cooked the steak too raw...so yea, had to have her re-cook it.

been thinking, am i doing too little about us or is she heading the wrong direction on this? we need to sit down and discuss. when will be a good time when both of us feel like to share and accept comments and thoughts? and again, i'm not sad about this. the whole entry wasnt meant to be "gloomy" if u felt it was.

been home. getting plenty of rest and food.just went up to davis on monday just to accompany lori. it's quite fun driving for 1.5hrs... almost missed the business hour of our bookstore. was informed that physics 7 series probably wouldnt have any textbook and was glad about it..hehe, yay~ no need to buy book for it nor searching for used ones online. plan for the rest of my winter break? hmm...waiting for after-xmas sale, gonna chill at home, finishing the next drama series, and hopefully reading ahead for ochem. ohh yea, got a C for stupid BIS1b!!!! ARGHHHHHHHHH. am still pissed off. (yea, and whose fault was that? sigh)

damn, wasnt invited to any xmas party...>_< so not christmasy~~

ARGHHH, STUPID AOL. JUST TOTALLY LOST MY BLOG ENTRY OF THE DAY.

anyway, "a step into the past" isnt as addictive as what i expected. could find the time to finish it since last yr. my fd lent it to me last xmas..hehe... hmmm... what else i wrote? anyway, still remembered what i was doing last yr during xmas break. i was in a confusing relationship and planned to get rid of my spiritual weaknesses by attending a christian conference where i met most of my fds fr Davis Chinese Chrisitan Church. we had fun cuz i lived with 5other girls in a house. it's just like girlscout camping. altho it was freakin' cold,etc... wendy going this year... hehe, she'll have to wear 5layers to resist the weather...haha, cuz the camp site is near the mountain top.

been home, watching TV most of the time or bugging my hamster or tucking my hamster in bed (in the afternoon).. yes, so wasting my time...oh well. sorta reading a book by jimmy too.

oh yea...does love have to equal forever? not necessary. cuz love=love. if love means sth else, they would've named it "forever". just my suggestion.

been getting up after 1pm lately. home is good. altho somehow i just lose conscious whenever i sleep in my own room, whats wrong? oh well~ got 3weeks to slack off..didnt even bother to call tapioca express back to see if they need me. what for? when i cant have the car for the most part of the week. naw, i'll stay home and rot with my TV and tapes/VCD. i've always like staring at people's 4 or 6-pack...i think it's awesome. i dont know..muscles are cool. butches need to have some muscles... (not talking about 4-packers) hehe, i'm sure everyone has biceps~(by definition: everyone has muscles, but are they well-built? thats the question)

oh yea, joey invited me to a group dinner on next fri. i wish lori could go with me. hmmm, or should i save some "quota" for future use? anyway, things to accomplish this week: finish all tapes and VCDs or movies. then move onto reading some books next week. ahh! perfect.

oh yea, lori got me a fleece throw with "love hon" sewed on the right hand corner for xmas..hehe, she said it's to warm me up. hehe, thx woh. yea, that throw is quite warm and thick. what else i got for xmas? hmm, bro got me a ring that i wanted fr Banana Republic. altho the reason behind my constant window shopping at BR is to get the ring for lori, hehe, my silly bro.

yay~ me home at last! got a card fr lynn, kinda warms my heart to hear fr her. i was going to email her some time ago but was afraid that i'd disrupt her. it's funny how her imagining of us worshipping together sorta makes me picture how it is to meet her knowing that she's a friend who truly loves me. that's a strange feeling. feeling close to her yet the thought of such seems distant.

drove fr davis to san jose today! hehe, in the rain too! hehe, it's quite fun cuz i was speeding =P anyhoo, still adjusting to life at home. i miss talking to terren, wendy and lori~ hehe,thats why i'm having fun chatting with terren honey on aim now. our conversations always crack me up.

suddenly remembered how i was asked if i'd go for a girl who's non-asian or asian? my answer was that i'd prefer a chinese. why? i guess i'm not white enough. oooh, forgetting my chinese lately, i couldnt finish my sentence without english substitutions. gosh!!! and i had a hard time translating what i wanted to say in chinese too! what the~ it's not like my roommate and friends speak eng with me!! i guess listening to lectures would turn a person white too. ahh, something to be related to my sociology class: assimilation process!

got a UCD bear for my bro cuz he's graduating fr SJSU. it says "someone at UCD loves me" on the bear's tshirt. i showed it to my mom and she could translate the whole sentence in chinese and i was proud of her english for a moment until she looked at me blankly and asked, "huh?" i was like, what? what's more to explain since u already repeated it in chinese!!" so i was quite pissed off and just head back to my room with my UCD bear. sigh.

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i'm finally done with this quarter! having final at 8am on a saturday is a pain. slept at 4 or 5...so horrible. i will never be so unprepared again! mom scolded me for not studying last weekend and had to stay up late for finals. well~ i had fun and i chose to have fun, so yea. got a C for BIS1a!! thats something nice to know..haha~ mom was quite surprised that i was so happy.. cuz i thought i'd be getting a D+!! shouldnt i be grateful for a C??!

slept at somewhere passed 5am... couldnt get up till 11am today ^^||| mood varied right before i went to bed. F****

spent the nite iwth lori again cuz i needed to take lori and terren honey to finals today. anyhoo, lori mentioned how she'd love to marry me ( o^.^o )...i was just..in awe. perhaps i was touched cuz no one has said or had such thought cuz of me b4. anyway, it felt very sweet tho (hehehe) ok ok, acting very gay right now. must stop.

been sleeping pretty late recently. why? no school ma~ dont have finals till wednesday..hehe, a lot of peeps were jealous of my finals schedule. just wanted to spend a bit more quality time with lori since it's 1) our 6th month anniversary 2) that i didnt have any time for her last week, 3) she's got finals and needs to stay up late to study and 4) we'll be off for xmas for 3weeks. i dont know.. i just cherish more of the time i get to see her around. haha, cuz i know i'll miss her ma. =P hmmm, getting mushy here..so..i'll just head back to study.

happy 6th month anniversary, to the one i love.

found a really nice love song in mandarin fr my old data CD. pls enjoy. download here carmen shui- loving powerlessly

quite a few unhappy things happened today between us. altho everything is settled, lets not mention of it again.

i'm possessive also, i'm sorry.

someone hasnt been updating her journal just becuz i didnt spend time with her recently ^^|||| come on, i still check ur journal quite frequently for new entry~

anyway, got my midterm results back today. even the one i took this morning!! omg, efficiency!!! =P anyway, finally did above-average (despite the below-average's all the other times =( i'm looking forward to getting a B for BIS1b, C for BIS1a and C-B for SOC4 and A for CHN-BL1. sigh sigh sigh

oh yea, met lani at the bookstore yesterday. she got prettier! ^.^ didnt say hi or anything but she stared at me for a short while there. it's either she regconizes me or that she's attracted. haha~ ok ok, just kidding.

ok, i'm done with my stupid bio midterm. i guess i did better than all the other times ^o^ so thats good. gonna skip chinese again so i can nap ^_* hehee

thx for ur dinner and daily food delivery on the nites b4 my exams. ^_^ fan kiu woh, leng lui. (thank u, beautiful)

got a flu lately, i think during shopping on sunday. anyways, didnt want to tell mommy cuz she'll just yell at me for my carelessness on my own health. ^^||| so yea. i already finished taking my flu medication last time when i got sick. so i'm on wendy's medication for cold and flu now..haha, hopefully i wont finish hers =P

^__________________________^ did well on my lab practical! (according to personal judgement) anyway, it was easier than what i expected and prepared. SO IT'S ALL GOOD. now, got more bio to study for *frowns*

Dr. Keen is cool! she's awesome. if u gonna take BIS1b, try to take her section. (altho i fall asleep in 80% of her lectures; not that her lectures are boring, but the fact that i havent slept enough the nite b4). Keen rulez!!! try it cuz u wont regret it ^_*

never take Wheelis for BIS1a, he sux!!!! ARGH. even if he gives easier midterms; he's inexperienced in providing a clear and detailed lecture on the subject. SIGH.

oh yea, just found out that i get to stay away fr davis for 3weeks!!! yay~ =D school doesnt start till 1/6!! hehehee~~~~

thx, lynn. got ur msg. it feels very warm and touched to hear fr an old friend. didnt really check if anyone signs my guestbook on a regular basis. cuz my close friends all have my icq or other means to contact. guestbook is a minor-option to them. anyhoo, thx, it means a lot to me.
20, thx la, dont worry. i'm fine. life moves and goes on. as much as i want to remember my pass-away duck, i will forget her sooner or later.
and i'm doing last minute studying for bio midterms, sigh. midterms the week before finals!! %!#$!& aint that fun?

FWD: the rose

The first day of school our professor introduced himself and challenged us
> > to get to know someone we didn't already know. I stood up to look around
> > when a gentle hand touched my shoulder. I turned around to find a
> > wrinkled,
> > little old lady beaming up at me with a smile that lit up her entire
> > being.
> > She said, "Hi handsome. My name is Rose. I'm eighty-seven years old. Can I
> > give you a hug?" I laughed and enthusiastically responded, "Of course you
> > may!" and she gave me a giant squeeze. "Why are you in college at such a
> > young, innocent age?" I asked. She jokingly replied, "I'm here to meet a
> > rich husband, get married, have a couple of kids..." "No seriously," I
> > asked. I was curious what may have motivated her to be taking on this
> > challenge at her age. "I always dreamed of having a college education and
> > now I'm getting one!" she told me. After class we walked to the student
> > union building and shared a chocolate milkshake. We became instant
> friends.
> > Every day for the next three months we would leave class together and talk
> > nonstop. I was always mesmerized listening to this "time machine" as she
> > shared her wisdom and experience with me. Over the course of the year,
> > Rose
> > became a campus icon and she easily made friends wherever she went. She
> > loved to dress up and she reveled in the attention bestowed upon her from
> > the other students. She was living it up. At the end of the semester we
> > invited Rose to speak at our football banquet. I'll never forget what she
> > taught us. She was introduced and stepped up to the podium. As she began
> > to
> > deliver her prepared speech, she dropped her three by five cards on the
> > floor. Frustrated and a little embarrassed she leaned into the microphone
> > and simply said, "I'm sorry I'm so jittery. I gave up beer for Lent and
> > this
> > whiskey is killing me! I'll never get my speech back in order so let me
> > just tell you what I know." As we laughed she cleared her throat and began,
"We do not stop playing because we are old; we grow old because we stop
> > playing. There are only four secrets to staying young, being happy, and
> > achieving success. You have to laugh and find humor every day. You've got to
> > have a dream. When you lose your dreams, you die. We have so many people
> > walking around who are dead and don't even know it! There is a huge
> > difference between growing older and growing up. If you are nineteen years
> > old and lie in bed for one full year and don't do one productive thing, you
> > will turn twenty years old. If I am eighty-seven years old and stay in bed
> > for a year and never do anything I will turn eighty-eight. Anybody can grow
> > older. That doesn't take any talent or ability. The idea is to grow up by
> > always finding the opportunity in change. Have no regrets. The elderly
> > usually don't have regrets for what we did, but rather for things we did not
> > do. The only people who fear death are those with regrets." She concluded
> > her speech by courageously singing "The Rose." She challenged each of us to
> > study the lyrics and live them out in our daily lives. At the year's end
> > Rose finished the college degree she had begun all those years ago. One week
> > after graduation Rose died peacefully in her sleep. Over two thousand
> > college students attended her funeral in tribute to the wonderful woman who
> > taught by example that it's never too late to be all you can possibly be.
> > When you finish reading this, please send this peaceful word of advice to
> > your friends and family, they'll really enjoy it! These words have been
> > passed along in loving memory of ROSE. REMEMBER, GROWING OLDER IS MANDATORY.
> > GROWING UP IS OPTIONAL. We make a Living by what we get, We make a Life by
> > what we give. God promises a safe landing, not a calm passage. If God
> > brings

the 4days zoomed by, sigh~ i had a lot of rest over the long weekend. enjoyed family time again. had a bit fight with lori on the phone but things were solved. so it's cool. had turkey and many other food with family. oh yea, found out that i've lost 3inches on my waist up till now. hehee~ it's weird how things finally go ur way when u least expected it. anyhoo, i miss my hamster already. awwww...BB....(sigh)

went shopping in downtown SF on sunday. we were all exhausted fr hrs of wandering. my leg muscle hurts~

ok, nothing much. i better study than to type away my journal here. so, good day