all your simpsons needs
http://www.garment-district.com/store/new/index_new.htm

plan to switch to xanga. pls go to
www.xanga.com/xxsunxx

used to sweat out my anger and displeasures through badminton in high school. found it very helpful as i became varsity, one of the important players on the team. hated it when i didnt get to use the court cuz other better players had to practice. i dont think i'm particularly bright and popular among the team, but i'm sure i've made a difference to a few teammates and we will always remember each other. *this points to lina bean, jenny and carla, who have been my partners and good friends*
i always envy those who sacrifice and make badminton their priority. i guess i'm just lazy. i should take badminton as PE then. it motivates me a little more than being lazy when i'm bound to go to PE class. i wanna go to open gym...=\

hope this relaxes you a little during your study breaks.

hehehe, yup! i'm gross!!

finally took my last physics final. i'm sure i'll pass the course and wont have to retake it. it'd be a nightmare!!!! anyone in phy7C would agree. i'm so glad that everyone hates 7C more than others in 7 series. never agree that i'm a physics or chem person. i guess, bio is the way to go. davis is raining again!! ARGH.
slept at nearly 4am last night and woke up at 12noon. hate safeway's trucks in the early morning (3-5am). i couldnt fall asleep last night. too excited to finally finish physics, i guess. soooo, now, gotta study my ochem all over again =\
had leegacy's milktea tonight...awww...so yummy. thats it, i'm gonna work hard tonite before it's too late. maybe if i'm done studying ochem, i can study harder on EXB and get an A- on it. EXB 102 is an interesting and easy course. very straight forward, me like that. oooh, taking classics 10 next quarter, anyone??

miss all the people who i havent talked to for a long time, if i havent talked to u lately, it's you!!! take carez.

hey! i liked Heroic Duo okay~ (leon lai and ekin cheng)
it's got a better plot than other HK movies, altho it tries to be a hollywood film, at least it's not too awkward. awww, leon is getting old =( i like leon's wife in the movie, xu jing lei. she was in the other drama series i saw a few yrs ago. loved her character.

oh yea, got a rose for lori cuz it's our 18th month anniversary =) and her xmas present has arrived and she's already crazy and happy about it. someone said that she'd get me the Rio Nitrus...can i use the money on something else? like PS2?

good luck on finals!! good luck on ur studies (esp. how u can optimize your studies by concentrating, hope u can handle that well with all the distractions around us =(
anyhoo, i'm finally studying for my final on wed. went to physics review session today. it helped!! thank god. still dont understand why NPB101 recommends phy7C!!! =\
worked 2hours and was asked to come back in 2hours to work cuz taco bell is too cheap to even pay me for that 2-hour gap. was pissed off but i'm feeling ok now. sheena is the trustworthy one there who protects the "weaker ones".

just thought that someone might be needing this..
Psalm 121

A song of ascents.

1 I lift up my eyes to the hills-
where does my help come from?
2 My help comes from the LORD ,
the Maker of heaven and earth.

3 He will not let your foot slip-
he who watches over you will not slumber;
4 indeed, he who watches over Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.

5 The LORD watches over you-
the LORD is your shade at your right hand;
6 the sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon by night.

7 The LORD will keep you from all harm-
he will watch over your life;
8 the LORD will watch over your coming and going
both now and forevermore.

i have loved you and now i have to let you gooooo =(

Rio Nitrus

The family you come from isn't as important as the family you are going to have.

-- Ring Lardner

it's somewhat true depends on individuals. i'm sure Alan'd agree.

like one of the lines in candy lo's "vace"
"i bring you everyday the freshest and the most beautiful things in the world"

great albums:
faye wong, candy lo, fish leung, jade's new album is better than the previous

went to a party with Ro and tried a lot of games and had a few sips on the drinks. perhaps it's good that alcohol beverages do not taste good. woke up early to register class for next quarter. have to start studying...will try my best later, hehe ^_*

had severe cramp last saturday so i slept through my saturday. and couldnt sleep at nite but still managed to get up in the morning for church on sunday. left after sunday worship and head back to davis after lunch. HAD A WONDERFUL THXGIVING WEEKEND!! =D i'm so happy to finally meet up and catch up with friends i havent been able to catch up with. miss y'all.

i've always wanted a best friend. when i thought i finally met my best friend in high school, she avoided me after knowing my sexuality. i was upset and disappointed but i still tried to save our friendship. she told me, she couldnt take/accept it. like i've done something wrong to her??!! i was depressed for a while and finally decided to forget about this friendship. anyway, a few more things happened between us later on but we stop contacting each other. she can still find me if she wants to tho. so can i.

later in college, there's only one person whom i felt close to. i never expected more than friendship from her and thought that she'd be my next best friend even if i werent her best friend. she is someone who knows me well (my thoughts, my reactions/responses, behaviors, dreams, etc.). next monday will be our 18th month anniversary. she was my best friend and is now my significant other.

1final on wed, 2 on saturday. i'm gonna work out next week!!! ^___^

the first time in my life that i realize javy is on your side, not ours. IT SUX TO FIND OUT. so pardon my rage for the moment. who am i kidding?? she's your best friend for ages!!! i've always wanted a best friend. they usually were my pets =P stupid Dor always run away from me and wont even stay in my arms for 1+mins for me to talk to him, sigh #%$#% my retarded guinea pig. but i know he's afraid of me tho..haha, to a certain degree. he'd take the long way if i'm standing in his short cut. it's cute when he does it cuz i could tell that he's keeping an eye on me and getting ready to avoid "my attack" any minute. ARGH, my silly Dor!!!

had my first taste of corona lite. it's less bitter and nasty than carlburgs. i dont drink, i dont smoke. i was just curious.

my eyes are sore from crying...=\

joined Joey to carpool to fremont to meet up with 8 other people at steph's house. finally had time to catch up with joey whom i last seen in 1-2yrs. it was fun talking to everyone of them. had a piece of bday cake cuz it's almost niki's bday. the couple has always given me an impression like i'm their little kid that they'd want to pinch my cheek all day long ^^||| they are lovely ppl <3 then we took tons of pics. there were endless jokes in our conversations =))) too bad,someone important was missing ^_* anyhoo, then we all watched tomb raider 2 together and the first episode of 20/30 dictionaries. i want to watch some more queer as folk!! they all want to meet Lori, whats up with that???!!! i answered them when they bugged and questioned me about why Lori couldnt join us, "dude, is that why i'm invited to this dinner???"

i love it when you go crazy and being hyper about my look for the day. it's always been sweet to me. sometimes your passion for me just amazes me cuz it seems like it's always there (it may be dim once a while but can be easily lit by small things). there's a huge growth in my feelings for you lately. perhaps i was the only one realizing and feeling its expansion. i know i'm not passionate enough about our relationship and this often upsets you. there's more than just how crazy i seem like i am over you. sorry for hurting you. i guess i'm still not loving and protecting you enough. i always deny whenever u ask if i miss you not. saying "i miss u" is too mushy... thinking of you is more how i'd prefer. i wish you were here with me for all the things happened this thxgiving weekend. i miss the way you'd fight the crowd to be next to me when we are out. thanks for your love and tears. i'll never make you cry again. i will treat u in a way that it'll tell you how much you really mean to me.

you know who this pic reminds me of???

woke up at 1pm today. slept at 3:30am yesterday watching some VCD and surfing online. life at home is good. esp back to the full access to high speed internet. *sigh of joy*

the long drive to millbrae was boring. i was so bored that i realized that Civic is better at making sharp turns than Camry.

how odd it feels when someone u hardly knows you adds you to his/her friends list 0_0 speechless is all i can say.

oooooh, lost 6lbs!!! ((FINALLY!!!)) i have been told that i look like i've gained some weight =P yea, so now there's more room for me to gain some more!! *blah!*

oh yeah, am finally home after 3 long weeks of living away from home. school life isnt too exciting either. so it's all good to be home. drove 3hours from davis to millbrae today. it was scary driving around in berkeley. sorry, alex, couldnt give u a call and visit you. i've always like Cal, like its food and the fun places. yeah, perhaps we should really explore it more after we are done seeking for fun in Sac. san jose is cold, man, Davis must be worse tonight! =(

oh yea, hey, thanks for calling last night =) and thanks for telling that it's 24 degrees celcius in Singapore!!! thats all i need.

some cute and hot posters of the simpsons!! http://www.geocities.com/polarissecundus/simpsons/simpsonshome.html

yes, going home tmr. hate school. very sick of boring physics lab. i dont know how my TA and prof can make PHY7C soooo boring and confusing. had a headache throughout physics lab tonight. everyone was relieved that the class ended early. POTTER IS A BAD PROFESSOR. despite the fact that he WROTE the readers for physics 7 series....=| dont know how he did it, but he sure made our only physics text useless and not helpful at all. okie, enough with school...

davis's been freezing like we are all back in the ice age =(((((( i cannot take this kind of temp, man. davis is way too cold this year, what have we done to our Earth?? (hint: global warming effect...) anyway, winter in davis is gonna be......SIGH.

ok, going to have thxgiving dinner with Lori's family and friends; then hot pot dinner with my friends on friday. mom already complained that i wont get to stay home much for this 4-days weekend.

it's finally friday!!! so happy... nothing can make me happier than knowing that i dont have no more school and work for 2days. =) working is becoming less fun and working hours seem so much longer than before =\ oh yeah, got burnt yesterday at work =( was in quite some pain for half a day. but i'm better now, thank god.
oh yeah, having finals in 3weeks, been thinking that i wont have to study for a month.....argh.

finally finished my 5-page analysis paper for EXB 102... worked pretty hard on it last night for 3hours =p i guess it's a pretty good paper since i only had little time to prepare for it. anyhoo, thats like 20-30% of my grade!!

i miss bebe, havent seen her for a month. havent even thought of her for a month. i realized not even Dor or BoBo can replace BeBe ^^ she's the sweetest pig.

more studying tonight. no more wasting time like my weekends...-_- totally wasted my life!

holy shiiiiit. totally forgot about my paper which is due tmr =( did NOTHING over the weekend. i was constantly looking for something to do but couldnt find any so i ended up sleeping a lot since friday =\ oh yeah, havent been to my 9am class for like 2weeks now..^^|||||| i just couldnt wake up in time unless i get at least 7 hrs of sleep. i think i should start sleeping early and quit the late television. oooh, so addicted to the new drama series- Triumph in the skies, played by Flora Chan, Francis Ng (ng chan yue) and a bunch of young and new actors. the plot, and all the preparations for the scenes are so much better than those in the past. recommended!! ^_*

ok, i should get back to work now =( better "start" on it now.

sorry, havent been online much this week. was studying hard for my midterm before monday. it turned out bad but i improved a little. i guess i'm bad with organic chem =( i need to seriously focus on one thing at a time. having too much things on my mind just overwhelms my life a little. i know i'm only giving in 50% on everything i do, pretty bad huh? i used to give in about 70% of my attention on things i do, but....

hmm, had hot pot dinner with Ro and Lori on monday evening. davis is cold enough for that! been hanging out with Ro lately. she makes a great company. and the fact that we understand how we need to socialize a little more than just Lori and I and Ro may get bored with her life without "great companies" ^__* hehehe~

finally went to shop at Arden today. we all got what we wanted =D finally some excitement for my life. got a very cool shirt today and i'm loving it \(^o^)/

ahhhh, i miss yapping on my own blog. miss using my own computer. gotta fix that darn router soon. i miss those i havent talked to for days or longer. havent seen joey for a long time too... =\ i bet i wont see her until 2004!! oooh, i have 2parties to go to for thxgiving then going to lake tahoe at last with my family. i saw the pics my fds took at tahoe, oh my, the scenery kills!

ooh, those who have friendster may now add me. fishy2001@hotmail.com (this email will disappear in 3days for my own privacy). pls, only add me if i know you.

oh yea, davis is in an extreme winter mode. it's freezing!! anyhoo, i have to wear a sweater or i'll freeze to death! i miss days where i need only a tee and a pairs of jeans. BoBo and DoDo are finally getting along better. ^^ glad that Dor finally has a friend to talk to. he seems happier with BoBo's company. i was telling my mom that guinea pigs could live up to 10-12yrs. dude, what am i going to do with him for such a long time?? if something happens to him after 10yrs, i'll definitely cry my eyes out =( sigh~

was talking to INES on icq tonight. we were sharing stories of our guinea pigs ^_^ hehe, it's funny how our conversations have shifted to guinea pigs-related topics. i should've gotten DoDo the little hat for halloween. cuz horlick and milo (the other 2guinea pigs my friend has) were adorable in their party hats. hehe.. gotta see their new hair cuts!! INES~~ email the pics to me when u have a chance to, thanks~

ooh, yeah, BoBo was born on oct. 7, 2003 ^___^ we're going to assume that DoDo was born on someday in december of 2002. i dont know, maybe he can just celebrate his bday along with mine in april.

what do i want for xmas? gooooood question. ummm, how about a free entry to UCD med school or other grad school??? ^__* hehehe, WE WISH!!!! (free as in, they wont even take a look at my academic stuff or have i met their requirements, not the tuition fee part.)

finally met up with vis, pinko, steph and niki for lunch at sushi house in alameda. http://www.e-sushihouse.com/ the food is pretty good. loved the mirugai nigiri and their bay scallop roll. it's reasonable price too.
then went to shop and got myself a few clothings. what happened to my promise of "not buying any more clothes until i go back to HK?!!".....ummmmm....
anyway, going to study tonight. dad saw my ochem book and he was surprised that i had never learn any ochem from high school before unlike his days. .............dad has always loved ochem......... -_- no eyes see, man.

yes! getting hair cuts with lori tmr in SF then gonna pick up a few grocery and heading back to davis again! how nice! then i'll have to study my butt off tmr night =((((

oh yea, not to mention, felt very strange driving in my mom's car (now that i'm so used to driving in lori's car) esp, it was a pretty long drive for me all by myself, not to mention the pouring rain on my way back home. i tried to concentrate as hard as i could on the road since i had a bad feeling. i know someone was there watching after me, thanks. ^_^

oh, btw, added pics of my new guinea pig on http://photos.yahoo.com/xxjojoxx/ under pets, ofcourse.

freaking davis just turned into winter in one day. i can still remember i was wearing short sleeve tee the day before. and we had to turn on the heater at night cuz it was too cold. anyway, winter is here. it sux. and it's time to pay for tuition for next quarter o_o
ooh, my shedule for next quarter is awesome. it's got a lot of big gaps at perfect slots of the day. my latest class ends at 6pm. earliest starts either at 8 or 10:30am. still pending. oooh, i'm home!! havent gone back home for a month. should've come home tho cuz i have a midterm next monday and i cannot blow this off like the first time =( but i have an appointment to get a new haircut this sunday. so here i am.

oh yea, DoDo is finally getting along with BoBo. BoBo has grown a little bit. so we need to take as much pics as possible before we regret ^^

argh. stayed home for halloween. no one knocked on our door i guess it was too dark so they assumed no one was home. anyhoo, never knew that castro had a fun halloween =( i wish i could've gone with my fds. anyway...

had lunch with Ro and si-young today. we refilled our sodas without paying and the lady found out and offered us more refills. but we already had! then they came over to see my guinea pigs ^_^ then we went to their place to study and have dinner. hehe, sorry, i was such an ass distracting all of you while u were being studious..hehehe~ too bad. good luck with your studies, man. ooh, it's time to look for classes to sign up for the next quarter.

we finally introduced our new baby guinea pig to our 8-month old guinea pig, DoDo. he mounted him for a long time and they were communicating. and we finally thoroughly sanitized their cage and house so they can feel like they have a new environment. i'm so tired after watching after them for 2hours. they are learning to having each other in their everyday life now =) hopefully they will make a great company for each other.

felt mentally drained after my EXB midterm. it's harder than what i expected and prepared..hehehe, oh well, let's hope that everyone finds it tricky too. anyway, going to play badminton at hickey gym tmr with lori in the evening as what she's promised months ago O_O sigh. i think i need to nag more to get my comments/wills expressed and heard.

i'm finally feeling better. i dont think i want to meet her again, although i will someday. i usually would be happy that we can hang out. but, i really think that i'm not ready. or am i just taking this shit too seriously? what if they really see who i am with their own hearts instead of some shit about me? .....but if she really does, i think we'd have been closer fds despite my effort all along. u know, i rarely initiate in any relationship/friendship. you meant a lot to me and i just wanted to show u what a special friend you are to me. thats when i initiate in a friendship. you really sux.

love the soup lori made last night. i usually dont like soup with dried squit or some kinda odd looking living things. but i guess the soup is sweeter and has less of that smell. hey, i drank a little bowl of the soup today when lori went to nap!

had dinner with Ro and vincent yesterday over at our place. they loved the food and the conversations. hehee, we laughed to death upon jokes and funny incidences. we laughed so hard that we scared my DoDo to death again..haha, opps, he was actually panting a little bit. my poor little guy. he's even more introverted than i am. so i'm finally working more on mondays from now on. i messed up quite often today which was unusual =( but yeah, moises picked on me and was kinda pissed off =\ then tommy came along, a newer guy than i am and a lot slower than i am, so then we pissed him off even more. i think he must be thinking this to himself: "omg, another one! you two are driving me crazy!! ARGH." until 2hrs later i finally got to take a break and worked with other girls for the rest of my day. i had a lot of fun with 3other girls. it was fun. working is finally fun.

saw scary movie3 with Ro and lori today. it sux. a lot of predictable scenes.... i'd rather watch something else. anyway, had dinner at nobu's. then head back to Ro's place to hang out for some more. we talked the whole time. sharing lots of moments that we've missed from each other's life. talked shit about others, funny stuff, and what troubles/d us. her house looks so cute and warm and her housemates are much friendlier. si-young is cute..hehe, even her monkey chopsticks. heard a shocking and disturbing fact from Ro about our friends that I HAVE NEVER IMAGINED. very disturbing and am glad that i didnt find out till now or else i'd have stopped being fds with them a long time ago. sigh...i tried giving a friend my heart a few times but always felt that we are missing a connection. NOW I KNOW WHAT THAT SHIT IS.

gonna study tonight.

almost ran over an old man in downtown Davis 2days ago. he just came out of nowhere. or, i was such a careless driver =( horrible me~

been watching queer as folk on DVD. it's pretty good despite the rated R portion of the series. i think there's a lot of points and diff perspectives they wanna share with us. mike's mom is awesome and so super-supportive of him and his choice. it's just very cute to see how she protects and be proud of his son.

weekend is finally here!!! i'm gonna study my ass off on EXB then work on a bit on chem. i realized i've forgotten all organic chem i've learnt 6months ago >_____<

oh, got my second paycheck! =D not that i need it but it's great to see something in return after working everyday for it. going to see "scary movie3", been waiting for it! ^^ need to get some good laughs. oh, Ro is coming with us. ever since i logged onto friendster and written a few testimonials for a few friends and i guess some of my words were a bit sentimental and perhaps touched their hearts ^^ so it sorta brings the friendship a bit closer or shall i rephrase, it helps to remind us of such friendships that we've forgotten somehow.

awwww, my hubby made it on the UCB newspaper. http://www.dailycal.org/article.php?id=13223

we bought the new baby guinea pig today in the morning ^^ he's cute. we held him for a few minutes and he was just squeaking in fear for a while as we pet him. wont be healthy and weaned till next week =) need to shop for a new cage for him also. i finished reading one chapter for EXB last night in 15mins. good work!

this song is great! sang by a new rising group of teens in HK- sky- pocket sized-lover lyric here

finally signed up for friendster. was under peer pressure =\ why did i even let they control me anyway?! ooh, i'm finally doing better at work! altho they still think i need more time on practicing my speed of packaging but who cares!? i finally memorized the ingredients for the right order! ^_^

didnt read the 3chapters i promised to finish by the weekend, maybe i'll finish one chapter tonite. lori is going to get a new guinea pig, we are naming him, PoPo (bao bao) (literally translation in chinese: treasure or infant) we already met him today, he's only 2weeks old. sooo tiny and cute. tri-colored one. with brown on his head, a lot of white and a little dark brown spot. baby guinea pigs look really funky...

spent my entire saturday at the wedding ceremony and banquet. everyone was exhausted. the food is ok, better than the chinese food i've had. love the roses. they were everywhere at the wedding. (aww, all kinds of colors too)

i'm still recovering from the lack of rest on friday... fell asleep during sermon again..so was my bro ^^||| it's genetic! it's not my fault =P hehe anyway, then met up with lori and her mom for lunch. seafood harbor is good! decent dim sum in cali! then we went to ikea and grocery shopping. lori made an elegant dinner ^^ steamed shrimp with garlic and salmon sashimi. looooove salmon.

TIRED!!! had 4hours of sleep cuz i had a chem midterm today. hmmm, not sure about how i did though cuz i really didnt prepare much for it >_< sigh, so i'll study hard for exercise bio class this weekend! i promise! (plus, it seems to be a fun class anyway~ ^^ )
i'm surprised that i survived without taking naps today with 4hours of rest last nite. usually i dont feel fully energized with 7 hours of sleep the nite before. i guess i can withstand once-a-while-staying-up-late. ok.. if u ever need me, find me in my cozy and comfy bed.

quite a few things happened. i dont even know where to start or should i even publish it? so lets forget it.

i was quite disappointed when it happened again. i've always had confidence in you. the trust used to be real strong. it didnt upset me anymore cuz i learned and changed my attitude and way in dealing with it. did you? i suppressed my disappointment and handled it with a more positive attitude that i'd never have done in an argument before. i really hope that my improving means something to you too.

i'm so tired.... hate chem.. chem 8B is easy but i think i should've started preparing for it earlier. like not the night before midterm, hehe ^^||| yup, got a few more pages to read =( soooo sleepy. i will never major in chem, lori. good for you tho but i still cant wait to be finally done with chem.

have a great weekend, everyone! i'm going home and going to a wedding dinner of a friend's on sat. what to wear that evening been troubling me ^^||| yes, i'll finally dress more mature or not sporty.

oooh, good news! i'm getting my first pay check from taco bell! =D oooh, another thing worth to mention, i'm finally doing great today at work. finally memorize how to make everything on the menu ^_* finally! and i'm not the slowest there! trust me...

sorry, havent had the time to sit down and recall what had happened in my life recently...
saw "intolerable cruelty", didnt love it but it sure was an above-average movie. george clooney is hot!!! yes, i think i'm less gay cuz i'm actually checking out guys now. i used to score like 65% on the gay test on emode.com.

i'm seriously behind in all of my classes and i'm only taking 3. =( have chem midterm but i have forgotten most of O-chem in the past 6months. ooh, i finally had my first crunchy taco today. it was good! i never knew that they taste good ^^ i guess i was too hungry when i had it today. quite exhausted today. glad that i asked for a day off. tuesday is crazy, dont like tuesdays. sedexho is actually a great company. i guess thats how it recruits new employees and keeps current employees.

exercise bio 102 is actually a sport psychology class. it's internesting to know how coaches and athletes apply sport psyc to improve their performances. it brought back a lot of memories, esp. those happened on my tennis team. i wish that i wasnt so quiet and inactive back then. anyway, did a meyer-briggs personality test and found out that i'm an introvert! lori cracked up when i told her o_o hmmm. yeah, i always wish to be an extrovert. anyway, i'm an INTJ for ur detailed information. "usually have original minds and great drive for their own ieas and purposes. in fields that appeal to them, they have a fine power to organize a job and carry i tthrough with or without help. skeptical, critical, independent, determined, sometimes stubborn. must learn to yield less important points in order to win the most important."
well, a few of my close fds would also include that i'm a warm-hearted person. (i hope)
k, gotta catch some sleep now. didnt even study as what i planned. =(

oohhh, saw about 8 new born guinea pigs over the weekend. THEY WERE SO ADORABLE. they just melted my heart. i havent felt this way for cute little creatures for a long time. hehe, i poked a few of them and they were in shock for a moment and ran away. why havent i heard of guinea pigs when i was a kid before???? bebe was over for the weekend until today her owner finally wants her back. hehe, she had a great time with us and DoDo. being able to hear her squeak every morning is good. it's like she actually cares and wants our attention. awwww, cute cute guinea pigs.

yup, so we are together for 16months now =D never had a stable relationship before. the longest was 6months. i'm looking forward to telling my friends that we are together for 2years in the future, etc... ^___^ aww...
oh, so i got the job offer at taco bell on campus. no need to drop by to say hi though. i'd feel awkward. but ofcourse, i'd still greet you as a customer =) ever since i got the job offer, i promised to myself that i wont be too shy or too timid with my co-workers. cuz usually ppl hate me (or not like me) cuz i'm too quiet (therefore, different from them) and not fun to work with. at least i try to be very friendly and courteous on my first day. made an effort to ask them for their names and introduce myself. i think i'm picking it up pretty quickly tho... just give me 2more weeks then i'll know it better than the chihuahua ^_*

plans for this weekend and next week: schedule my time more efficiently, study, do hw, study and study! =( dont want to get bad grades again.

finally had steak that i've been craving for months. and this time was super yummy!! i dont know how our 1-hr marinating of white pepper, salt, and garlic powder did the magic. tonight's dinner just tasted so good. even better than the steaks i used to have last year. i cant live without meat in my meals. yes, i'm a carnivore. not an extreme one though.
so i couldnt get up for church today cuz i slept late last night =( saw the hot chick last night. it's very cute. it's more than just a comedy. throughout the day, i still get flashbacks of the Gia. especially after we found out that it's a true story and we even found pics of the real Gia. she's a legend.

finally got a bit studying done tonight. oh shit, a quiz on tuesday on physics =\ i think it's easier to flunk a total of 8 quizzes throughout 12 weeks and ace the final at the end.

davis is finally cooling down to a point that i need a sweater at night =\ it's gonna rain endlessly in a month or two =( hate that weather in davis.

finally rented the famous Gia movie. it's great! i cried =( it's so touching... angelina jolie is so pretty~ the story is great...and it's also a true story. check it out if u have a chance. it's not only a film that contains lesbian content. it is a great film. (i rarely cry for movies).

yay~ it's finally weekend! no more school ^_^ i finally get to have some free time where i can sit and study. yes, i finally feel like studying. isnt that great? i usually cant be in this kind of mood until finals ^^|||

after the fight Lori and I had a few days ago about my new job, we finally talked it over and matured our relationship a little more. i do love her. it's just that sometime knowing how much she loves me makes me forget how much i love her. it doesnt make sense huh? haha.. ^^|| it's just me. it's like there's a time when i was trying a new roller coaster with my bro's coworker, i was very nervous cuz i'm not the crazy type that tries all roller coasters. then my bro's coworker was even more scared than i am.. she started screaming before the roller coaster even started. then i just started laughing while she was screaming all the way until the roller coaster stopped. i just totallly forgot to scare cuz someone near me was a lot more scared than i was.

only had 2classes today but am quite tired throughout the day. i really need to sleep earlier at night from now on. i now have 2alarm clocks for me in the morning. ofcourse, i'm more than happy to miss my classes "by accident"... but i seem to get up on time for the bus =\ gotta try harder (to sleep earlier or to just skip the class the next day, hehe)
lori was quite depressed today cuz she has classes from 8am-4pm. as i was home for my 4hrs-gap, i wrote her a short letter and glued my pic next to hers with short phrases (not i love u, etc). hehe.. then i went to class at 4pm and she arrived home after 4pm and explored the surprises. just wanted to cheer her up by showing a little more love. she told me later that she cried upon my words. hahaha... trust me, she'll re-read that for 100+ times in the future. i havent said anything sweet for like months. hey, i dont express it but it doesnt mean that i cannot be sweet! =D sounding too gay for u? sorry..but i'm in a good mood! lori is actually sleeping (turning a nap into sleep) so i get to go online with her computer and working on my physics hw and chatting with an important friend ^_*
i have more new pics to upload but lori just wont upload them for me!! argh~ so all my fans out there, sorry for the wait. (hi, Lynn *muahahah*)

aaron's new album is good!

just chatted with an UCD alumnus and also one of my butch fds whom i've known for yrs. we were never close but we still keep in touch once a while. i'm happy for her cuz she's living happily now with her gf. it's great to know how sweet they are ^^ and how long they've waited for each other. that sorta led me to thinking, living with my gf is like a dream-come-true to everyone in the circle; why dont i have the passion or eagerness in this? why do i always forget to appreciate and cherish? i guess i'd only cry if Lori leaves me one day. i just wont feel it when she's so available for me. sigh, spoiled me.

nothing much. back to school. had my first physics lecture today and fell asleep half of the time and i wasnt the only one. exb is kinda boring too. altho the prof tried very hard to make it interesting but i guess 2hr-lecture is too long. a lot of people dozed off. davis has cooled down a lot! thats great! ooh, the bus stop is like 10secs away from my house..haha..it's great to know that i no longer need to walk 8mins to get to a bus stop. altho i can hear clearly if buses are outside my house or just passing by or not.. =\ still havent seen all of my old classmates and friends on campus.. the campus is filled with new and young faces ^^ it's cute to see them with campus maps like i once did.

just deleted about 50 icq contacts on my list o_o feeling quite blinded now... there were too many random contacts on my list that i could no longer put new contacts into my general group...so yeah, many of them stopped using their icq accounts anyway. ok...hmm, so i havent done any reading so far. productive huh? i miss DoDo... there's no one i can bug whenever i'm bored at home =\ even all the hamsters aren't with me..sigh.

how to pray? teach me

i'm home! ^_^ came home for good, ofcourse. left all of my pets by themselves =\ aww, my hamsters and DoDo... and i forgot to feed him with carrots and hay before i left! hrm.. opps. well, i hope it'll make him cherish my presence more from now on..hahaa ^_*

finally chatted with Lynn after a good long week. it's good to see her again. glad that you're more confident about urself now. take care and we shall talk again.

hello, all! i'm back with new internet access ^__^ *chuckles* so i'm in my new apartment in davis. it's good to finally share kitchen and bathroom with another person. sharing with 3other is horrible. not horrible, but i think i've lost the patience to deal with problems within the house over time. i'm glad that there's room for my DoDo and 3hamsters now ^^ seeing DoDo everyday is like dream come true cuz i've always wish to have my own pet in my own house. been spending time watching movies at home and making dinners with Lori these days. and organized our place a little more. tomorrow is first day of school. class at 2pm, baby~ dont expect much this quarter, just hope that i'll enjoy my new place and have as little conflicts as possible with Lori.

basically, i'm doing good. weather is hot as usual here. but now the AC is working at the new place ^_^ we leave it on all day (at an energy-saving temperature, ofcourse)

hmm..had a busy yet meaningful weekend. many thoughts pop up in my head these days. wanted to write them down but ofcourse i had forgotten them all again =\ sorry, i wish i could share with you my greatest thoughts (heehhee)
there's been this special joy in me lately ever since i decided to do something with my church life. someone had told me before: it all depends all how great you want to make it to be! i think thats the spirit and dedication i lacked all these years. i had been waiting for others to approach me in church which led to little feedback and friendship and i started to hate the feeling of being left out. i finally figured it out (took years =p ) that i should go get what i want or simply make it as great as i want! the passion of life is finally pouring into me. i feel the passion. i really do. i had been this happy before when i thought i could give all to Him and when i know i'm blessed in every way. the one sentence i really wanted to write down a few days ago was: i'm happy to know God, or else, i would never realize how much i'm loved and being provided. i'm rich in Him.
i really do wish the people i love to understand how revived i feel now. i'm actually eager to love everyone around me. loving one another is great.

so i'm leaving home for college tomorrow. i heard it's super hot there =((((( (yes, real unhappy) i think it's near 35 degrees celcius or it'll feel like it. hmm, bringing 3hamsters and 1guinea pig with us. not too much stuff for me; oh, we got a new VCR. i would've gotten ourselves a new TV with DVD/VCR if i could carry it (i tried but did not succeed ofcourse). yeah, need to work out a little more from now on. wont be able to update journal until weekend or unless i use the computers on campus. in the meantime, enjoy your life while i enjoy mine.

cool stuff on haight st of SF. -www.sfgate.com

Clothing

Aaardvark's Odd Ark: Sure, these folks can't spell "aardvark," but who cares? You know you need to buff out your Hawaiian-shirt collection -- or what about a funky old tuxedo jacket? Hats, ties and dresses are also here, and nothing's just any old piece of clothing. 1501 Haight St., (415) 621-3141.

Ambiance: The staff at "your famously romantic Haight Street store" wants you to know: They "really like you." Indeed, they're helpful and friendly, and not annoyingly so. The women's clothes are fabulously classy, perfect for any party or date or even a job interview. 1458 Haight St., (415) 552-5095.

Behind the Post Office: No, there is no post office in sight of this women's clothes boutique. But owner Stephen Pringle did name the shop after a San Diego store run by his brother that was located behind a post office. Employees at this shop say that the fit of an article of clothing is of paramount importance, as it should be for the price range: jeans and pants for $100 to $150 and tops for $50 on up to $200. The standards of this sporty, fashion-forward line of clothes are high, though, with designers like Buka and Development on the racks. 1510 Haight St., (415) 861-2507.

Buffalo Exchange: A used-clothing buy-sell bonanza, with racks and racks of hip jeans, sweaters, jackets, dresses, T-shirts, shoes and much, much more! There are a few new items sprinkled throughout the store, but they're usually pretty cheap, too. 1555 Haight St., (415) 431-7733. (Readers' Choice Pick 1998/Web site)

Bulletproof: Browsing through Bulletproof is like shopping in your best friend's closet. The shop carries men's and women's vintage clothes, hand-knit hats, its own label of T-shirts, accessories by independent local artists and a few pieces of new clothes. The welcoming spot is set up like a living room, with a couch and a coffee table in the middle, and the atmosphere is super friendly. 629 Haight St., (415) 255-7168.

Clobba: Geared toward men and women ages 15 to 32, Clobba carries trendy and upbeat designs mainly from Los Angeles and New York. Aside from the clothing lines, the front of the shop features accessories such as jewelry and belt buckles. 1604 Haight St., (415) 864-4701.

Costumes on Haight: A mecca for Halloween and Mardi Gras revelers, Costumes on Haight is the place to find those Viking hats, boas, king's crowns, colorful wigs, pimp jackets, pirate shirts, Victorian boots, poodle skirts or whatever else you can dream up. The main floor is stocked with vintage clothes as well. Costumes are also for rent. 735 Haight St., (415) 621-1356. (Web site)

Crossroads Trading Co.: Though the front of this expansive store shows off some new lines for men and women, most of the stock at Crossroads is high-quality used clothes. Crossroads pays 40 percent in cash or 50 percent in trade of what it will price the item to sell for in the store. Whole sections are devoted to hats, belts, scarves, sunglasses and jewelry. 1519 Haight St., (415) 355-0555. (Web site)

Dharma: Despite the name of this 20-year-old shop, the India cottons, peasant tops and other ethnic clothes are far outnumbered by the choices of sporty, trendy women's attire. Sweaters, small coats, lycra tops, velvet scarves, hats, handbags and sparkly jewelry take precedence. The best attribute is the motto at this women's clothing store: "Keep it affordable." 1600 Haight St., (415) 621-5597.

Duzz 1020: Duzz 1020 carries reasonably prices funky women's clothes with a youthful slant, like Toska tops, Monteau sweaters and items from other offbeat designers. The target age of these trendy fashions is clearly high school and college. 1780 Haight St., (415) 751-7720.

Harmony Studio: Custom designs and alterations are the specialty of this small women's clothing shop. Though there are a few fashion pieces in the window, Harmony focuses on its production work. The store will also custom-make wedding dresses and bridesmaids' outfits. 316 Fillmore St., (415) 495.1823

Held Over: Sift through racks of vintage clothes from the '60s and '70s for men and women -- basic used sweaters, T-shirts, dresses and jeans. Held Over charges relatively reasonable prices, such as $20 or $30 for a pair of jeans or $250 for a good-quality leather jacket. 1543 Haight St., (415) 864-0818.

Hookin': DJ and hip-hop wear is the focus of the Hookin' line of clothing at of the most recent newcomers on the block. T-shirt slogans and the casual style of clothes are all geared toward the urban-music fan audience.

Kweejibo Clothing Co.: "Simpsons" fans will recognize the name of this shop as a made-up word from one of the show's early episodes. That has nothing to do with the fashions at this men's-clothing boutique. All clothes are designed by the shop's owner and made locally. Some of the button-up shirts are retro style. 1560 Haight St., (415) 552-3555. (Web site)

La Riga: The Lower Haight's answer to Daljeets or New York Apparel, La Riga carries goth and fetish wear, with an emphasis on leather. Labels include Serious and Lip Service, and the store carries the usual array of accessories such as studded belts and bracelets. 1391 Haight St., (415) 552-1525.

La Rosa: This upscale vintage boutique focuses on clothes and collectables from the '20s to '50s, though there are some items from the '60s and '70s in stock. Dinner jackets, formal dresses, feather hats and other accessories come from all over the world. While shirts range from $65 to $265, some carry as much as a $1,000 price tag, while gowns can cost up to $2,000. 1711 Haight St., (415) 668-3744.

New York Apparel: This is the spot for that fishnet bodysuit, silver vinyl pants, black vinyl lace-up dress, chains, leather and sexy lingerie. Old-school New York punk wear, like studded belts and bracelets, lives on here. A wall of cheap colored tights and fishnets is a main attraction. 1722 Haight St., (415) 751-8823.

Piedmont Boutique: The two giant fishnetted legs sticking out over Piedmont give a hint as to the creative and colorful clothes inside. For more than 30 years, Uti, Piedmont's designer, has been fashioning costumes and outfits for dancers, stylists, theater folks, drag queens and local rockers like Super Booty. About 90 percent of the clothes, lingerie, hats, coats, boas and assorted accessories are produced by Piedmont, and Uti says its seamstresses can produce anything on request in two days. Prices are midrange, but the store uses only high-quality fabrics. 1452 Haight St., (415) 864-8075. (Web site)

Red Five: This gallery and men's clothing store keeps true to its street flavor. Casual designs from labels like Charizmatik complement the store's own line of T-shirts. Local artists get some exposure on the Red Five walls, with exhibits that change every couple of months. 1472 Haight St., (415) 552-6494.

Satellite Vintage: The range on vintage clothes at Satellite is quite broad, spanning the '30s to the '80s, for both men and women. Midcentury used furniture is sold here as well. Buying and trading by appointment only. 1364 Haight St., (415) 626-1364. (Web site)

Solo Mia: Unlike the trendy clothes shops that dominate Haight Street, Solo Mia focuses on elegant clothing with a funky twist, from a simple black evening dress to a fully beaded gown. The other specialty is its variety of alternative wedding dresses. As for accessories, shawls, scarves, gloves, jewelry and capes are beautifully displayed. The store's designers can also custom-make costume or bridal wear, with about nine weeks' lead time needed. 1599 Haight St., (415) 621-0342.

Something Else: Something Else refers to the stock of one-of-a-kind pieces in this women's-clothing boutique. Many of the unique sweaters, T-shirts, jackets and pants are designed by local talents and are geared toward the club crowd. A few men's items are mixed in. DJs spin drum 'n' bass and house most Sunday afternoons. 1603 Haight St., (415) 864-1684.

Sugarpuss: Everything in this small women's boutique falls on the sexy side, whether it be a pair of hip-hugging denims or sheer lingerie. The shop carries light fetish wear as well as more mainstream accessories like jewelry from Peru. Prices tend to be lower here than for similar goods in the Upper Haight. 248 Fillmore St. (at Haight), (415) 861-7877.

Stussy: All Stussy, all the time. The showcase for Stussy men's and women's jackets, shirts, bags and more charges about the same for its products as in department stores. A basic sweatshirt sets you back $55, and jackets go for about $200. 1409 Haight St., (415) 701-7474. (Web site)

True: There are two True shops, one for men and the other featuring women's clothing. The men's store carries Akademiks, Enyce and Triple 5 Soul, among other urban street designers. True also has its own line of T-shirts, jeans, hooded sweatshirts and beanies. The women's store carries Enyce and Babyphat, among others, as well as bags from Gravis and Yak Pak. 1427 Haight St., (415) 626-2331.

Upper Playground: Upper Playground consists of an art gallery, a clothing store and a back room full of used vinyl, mainly soul and jazz. Urban-style T-shirts bearing rap-star monikers like Chuck D and Kool Keith abound. The gallery, meanwhile, spotlights local and national artists with exhibits that change monthly. 220 Fillmore St. (at Haight). (415) 252-0144.

Verd's Funk: Verd's Funk oozes personality. Astroturf lies in the entranceway and the walls are peppermint-stick pink. The women's clothes are just as eclectic, with one-of-a-kind upscale designs, like a green leather bolero for $645, a black leather chiffon for $660 or a purple jumpsuit for a mere $450. Most designers hail from London, Japan and L.A., though some are locals. The international art installations change once a month. Closed Tuesdays. 1312 Haight St., (415) 431-7509.

Vickie's Boutique: This store's signature items are T-shirts and undies emblazoned with the "Lower Haight" insignia. Vickie also carries some African tie-dyes and music T-shirts, as well as sunglasses, jewelry and small bags. 603 Haight St., (415) 552-5997.

Villains: Villains has taken over the block with its main store, the Villains Vault and the Villains shoe store. Villains' large storeroom focuses on urban casual and edgy styles, while the Vault offers higher-end, more conservative attire, mainly from Europe. G-Star and Diesel are carried at the Vault store, while brands like Hurley and Volcom and Fred Perry can be found at the main shop. The shoe store focuses on urban wear, though it carries some dress shoes. Villains: 1672 Haight St., (415) 626-5939; Villains Vault: 1653 Haight St., (415) 864-7727.

The Wasteland: One of the most intriguing window displays in the city fronts this used-clothing store, packed full of everything from vinyl skirts (and bras to match!) to less outrageous sweaters and campy T-shirts. And for a change, the stuff's not overpriced. 1660 Haight St., (415) 863-3150.

X Generation: Clothes at X Generation speak to a far younger crowd than the original Gen-Xers. The women's-clothing shop caters to teenagers with its feather-trimmed lace shirts and club-style wear. Its sister store, X Generation 2, carries somewhat more sophisticated clothing. Prices at both shops are quite reasonable. X Generation: 1606 Haight St., (415) 255-2838; X Generation 2: 1401 Haight St., (415) 863-6040.

should i join the UCD badminton club???? very tempting~~~ would Lori join with me too? i've been feeling lazy and unhealthy sitting around too much when i'm at davis. only get to swim during summer and i have so much finally exercising ^^|| havent been to hickey gym for a long while. the last time i've been there was...my freshman year. about 1.2yr ago. sigh.

wtf, people faking shawn, edison and charlene (i believer there's more hk artists) as if they really have xanga and update it everyday. hahaha... PATHETIC. (pls tell me that u didnt fall for it) i really dont think charlene's english is that good.

i miss twinbridge =( who has it and is nice enough to lent it to me ma? it's the only tool i use to type chinese...please~~~

got DoDo a toy. it's for baby and squeaks if u squeeze it. DoDo seems to like it and wants to explore what that is. whenver it squeaks, he'd approach and sniff on it. yeah, i'm finally seeing why guinea pig is social... it takes some time for mine to express some guinea pig qualities =
so, i'm getting new mobile service in 6months! which phone should i get? hmmm, very tempting. i'm definitely getting a phone that i truly like.

**sniffles**

i'm already packing stuff for me to bring back to Davis. just packed playstation along *chuckles* at least when i'm asked what to do during our free time, i'll have a good answer. not too much new games though. but i havent played for a year so i supposed all the old games will seem unfamiliar to me =p i want to try the simpsons road rage though. altho it doesnt appeal to me (all the 3D looks on the simpsons, eww), i'm sure my family will abandon PS2 pretty soon if we ever get one.

but gameboy advanced SP caught my eye for a while. it's sleek!

omg, UCB has a course that teaches "the philosophy of the simpsons"... my friend got in..and he was happy about it ^^||| why is there so much fun in berkeley??!! >_<

sometimes when we touch

You ask me if I love you
And I choke on my reply
I'd rather hurt you honestly
Than mislead you with a lie
And who am I to judge you
On what you say or do?
I'm only just beginning to see the real you

And sometimes when we touch
The honesty's too much
And I have to close my eyes and hide
I wanna hold you til I die
Til we both break down and cry
I wanna hold you till the fear in me subsides

Romance and all its strategy
Leaves me battling with my pride
But through the insecurity
Some tenderness survives
I'm just another writer
Still trapped within my truth
A hesitant prize fighter
Still trapped within my youth

At times I'd like to break you
And drive you to your knees
At times I'd like to break through
And hold you endlessly

At times I understand you
And I see how hard you've tried
I've watched while love commands you
And I've watched love pass you by

At times I think we're drifters
Still searching for a friend
A brother or a sister
But then the passion flares again

saw new pics of a friend's new love. hehe, became a good topic for me and Lori. anyway, what to update? the ones who are close to me already knew what i wanted to tell them. then there's no point to repeat here.

let DoDo out tonight. he ran around quite unwillingly, i guess i bothered him during his nap. then after many rounds he ran in the living room. he just stood next to his closed cage hoping to get in. aww..sorry, my little guy. so i let him in and gave him a yogurt treat. i hope bribing will make him love me ^_* hehe, i wish!

the conversation with lori started out quite bad and silent. i'm glad that it became a pleasant talk and like the old time. hehe, sorry for being mean and honest, i knew my words could be harsh sometime; but..i just want to be able to tell u everything in my head honestly.

dad and I went to shop for many things today right after i got up. i hadnt eaten anything till 3pm. i was starving!! this repeats everytime i shop with dad!! >_< sigh! yeah..and i just went straight for food after unloading the necessities we brough.

i'll never forget the camp i went to this summer. all the bugs and spiders i saw and how hot it was during the day (it was as hot as Davis!!) many people got sick due to the hot weather..hehe..i'm ok. i've learnt to be tolerant under extreme hot weather. i guess everyone in Davis does.

i'm already thinking about how to spend my weekend without Lori in Davis (without a car and all by myself in our apartment). lori will head home next weekend (btw, school STARTS next thurs =[ ) anyhoo, i guess i can try other restaurants. or just to swim in the afternoon and play with DoDo and the hamsters.

saw the movie "not a woman, not a man 2" by leslie cheung, yu wing yee, Tsang chi wai, etc. it's an old movie, several years ago. (gum chi yuk yip 2 or jin zhi yu ye 2) it talks about relationship and another msg hidden: how to face homosexuals in real life. mom didnt get it; i've always thought that she's a person who has depth and has a deeper perspective o_o sigh~ anyway... night

i'm finally back from the summer camp held by CBBC (Chinese Bible Baptist Church @ Los Gatos). it was a good experience for everyone. i learnt and grew a lot from the message and interactions with others, so was my faith. i think i'm ready to step out and learn to serve instead of being served. i also learnt that by expressing, behaving and loving others in a Christian way glorifies God. i finally understood how small details matter. there were many problems throughout the camp. most of them attacked the team that prepared and host the camp. i had fun. there were around 30 children/youth running around. the babies are so cute, altho many of them shy away upon my Hi and smiles ^^|||
anyway, Pastor Fan couldnt be at the camp with us but many people miss their presense throughout the event. altho i'm not close with our pastor but i also missed his presense. anyway, he'd been so pleased and happy to see how the team he put in charge did a great job organizing and carrying out the plan.
there were many moments in which i had tears in my eyes. the love of this church had greatly touched me. i've also met a few more people and knew many from the student fellowship a lot better in these 3days.

also, i've missed my family, Lori, DoDo and Krojen. can't wait to share with them what i had experienced in these 3days.

i finally have my own Bible! ^_^ i've been hoping that my brother(s) would realize that i dont have one. i'm glad that Eddy did. Thanks. i've read Genesis before but i dont think i had finished it. Alan finally realized that i dont have a Bible and he didn't respond. i assume he's already forgotten. sigh. i try to forgive him and talk to him about his lack of communication with the family. i dont think it has worked. there're too much happening in his life that he cant take care of every aspect in his life. i'm sure there's a better way for me to take this.

had an average of 4-5hours of sleep for the past 2days =( sooo tired. i was exhausted today. slept through our last sermon and prayers =\ finally arrived home at 6pm and couldnt wait to sleep at night, so i slept at 7-midnight. i feel so much better. i havent been this tired for a long time.

sigh~ wont have internet for 2days. ooh, i finally finished reading the chinese fiction i was working on. hmm..it's quite diff from what i've read before. this book mentions many varieties of emotions/cases and thoughts. quite interesting. i think the author is quite well-known. thats why i chose her books. hmm.. driving up to davis with my civic for the first time! ^___^ well, mom would add to my comment, "it's mine, not yours!" i'm gonna miss DorDor =( my silly guinea pig, love u.

happy 15th month

meeting u in 2days. are u ready to do some labor and chores? SIGH~

funny
or here

the korean ass-kicking drama series--> Romance
cant believe i'm still crazy over the characters after weeks. this is so not me.
a few pics from the drama

had fun at church today. talked to a few more people. i think i need to break the ice after attending the same church for..6years (on and off though). SIGH. as i was talking to a friend about how i wanted to go to another church. she asked me if i had put an effort in meeting people from church or even talking to them? i had to admit that i didnt really try. ofcourse i always wished that i'd be more talkative and easy-going with new friends. but i guess there's some part in me that stopped me from being that for years.

oh, saw a plastic, cloudy whitish glasses at valleyfair a month ago. i actually liked how i look in them. then i looked for the price tag: Gucci $270 USD. =\ couldnt find it on ebay either. ANYWAY, i wont buy such thing just because i think i look good them!! i'll only spoil myself further more!

aww, ken. heard that love storm is good. thank god roomie has already bought it. hehehe

blogger was down all night last night, couldnt update nor remember what i intended to write now =\ my memory has gone worse...still going worse, i believe. anyway, i finally got Dor some carrots ^^ yup, just for him. got into an unpleasant argument with lori last night. we spent 1-2hrs solving and talking it out until 3:30am. we were exhausted by then. glad that it works out now. i realized that i've changed a little over the summer. perhaps it seems like a bad change to you, but i hope it'll be a better change to you when we get back to school. i mean, what i've become should not be thought of as a negative change. i regret to make you cry on your birthday. as i said, u dont need to be special on your birthday, you simply are. i'm sorry to have become an insensitive person.

happy birthday to you

i'm going back to davis next wed and thurs to clean up what should be done at my old place. i have a feeling that i'll become a maid with plenty of patience. u know it's weird how sometime i'd enjoy doing house chores or yard works, because doing it gives me time and peace to clear out my mind. Thus, i appreciate more of life and people. well, talking to pets works too.

thanks for your love and support and being part of my life. i love you too. (a reminder: "you" can be plural. including those who consider me as an important friend; so do I)

sorry, i'm bored

Cinderella!


What movie Do you Belong in?(many different outcomes!)
brought to you by Quizilla

aww...but i like the cuddles and hugs picture better!

hand holding - you like to be in constant physical
contact with your special someone but you don't
want to take things too quickly.


What Sign of Affection Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

hmmmmm, i think a few of you would want to read the result for me

You represent... happiness.
Boy, are you full of cheer or what...? You have a
sunny disposition and enjoy trying to spread
your happiness. You have a tendency to be a
little hyper, but you have the ability to make
your own fun no matter what.


What feeling do you represent?
brought to you by Quizilla

******speechless******
i hope things will be back to normal after school starts esp when we both dont have much classes next quarter. we ought to get back to each other's life.

already started persuading mom and bro to let me go to HK next summer. yes, need to deliver my messange into their head gradually. hope i'm applying what i learnt from PYSC1 correctly. *chuckles* (i love the way Bart Simpson chuckles, btw)

oh, mom's friend and her doctor thought that i were a guy today. her friend still thinks that i'm a guy. she isnt a close friend so mom didnt bother to explain or we didnt have the time to explain to him today. i just wore t-shirt and jeans today. didnt even spike up my hair. didnt put on contact lens. i dont understand either.

today is a long long day for me. been out with my mom to various places from 11am-8:30pm. we didnt have lunch till 4pm. spent most of our time at the hospital as my mom went to diff departments to get injections/x-ray and physical exam taken. then many little things happened. i dont even want to bother writing it down. but there was this lady who got me so upset that i was outraged for 20+mins. i havent been this angry for some while. anyway, i finally realized that it's no body's fault and it's more like a lesson for me to learn how to forgive. i usually have a hard time forgiving but i would've forgiven her sooner if she hadnt given me such a bad attitude. thank god i'll never see her again. one of her kids is cute, by the way.

ms. Zhan called late at night. that was quite unexpected ^_^ mom asked when did i sleep last night. i couldnt answer her nor explain to her why i sleep so late at night. anyway, nice talking to you again and am glad that it went well. perhaps we could extend our conversation for a bit longer next time =P oh, so you left home without your TV drama today? *gasp*

Lori dropped by today to pick up Bebe. the cute darn thing left!! >_< my mom wont get to see her again in a year. anyway, mom and dad had fun playing and watching BeBe. ok, so I took Lori to the great mall and took sticker pics. it actually looks nice this time! ^_^ we finally remembered not to wear blue as the color of the background. it took us some time to learn! oooh, i got myself a pair of skateboard shoes! they are nice!!! =D thats it. there's no more shoes i want now. perhaps the diesel shoes or nike hi-pro. but they arent as important now =))))))
so, i'm finally out of financial crisis. school is refunding some money back to me after taking what they needed for tuition from my grant and loans. but i wont get the money in a month =\
okay, so i originally planned to take studio pics with lori today as her birthday present and it's what i've always wanted to do. she told me that i didnt get anything for her on her last birthday. i didnt?? see, now i'm convinced that i have bad memory.

had a dream last night. i was a cop and my team was undercover and waiting to get some evidence, etc. Lori and some friends were there so i talked to them while i worked on the case. i dont know why i'm telling you this but the dream was fun! no, i'm not a cop-type of person.

tears. havent seen you in a while. i never knew i was creating pressure for us. another thing, i know where important people stand in my life, you must know where you stand; if you ever forget, i always remember where you stand. sorry for creaing insecurities in you. one thing i always forget: God loves me even if i'm with a girl.

exhausted from the labor on labor day. we moved everything of mine into my new place. it was a mess for half a day until i spent two hours organizing them and putting them away. i knew my dining room is there somewhere~~ so i finally brough up my papasan chair ^o^ it looks great in the living room. sitters have been giving high ratings on it =P anyhoo, there wasn't air conditioning in the car. so our way up and back from davis was a little painful. not as bad as my days during summer session though. but the heat is new to my family. they had never experienced such heat before. hehe, glad they understand why i whine about the heat now =)

dear, i'd love to tell you things, even we mentioned before that our lives become so busy that we couldnt spend time talking about random stuff like before. hopefully, now that we live together, we'll have time to share and let you be my close or perhaps best friend, ok? I understand you are bored at home and couldnt find anything to do. do something meaningful than to waste it ah! when i get bored, i wouldnt care if i had to wash dishes! if you're really bored, find some house chores to do (to make ur mom happy). so many people had talked to me regarding money and apartments in these last 3days. everything i heard adds up pressure in my head. please forgive me if i seem to skip my usual greetings or caring. i know i didnt spend time looking at and talking to you yesterday. do you think i'd rather spend time packing than to talk to you? COME ON. i wished there were 4 of me to answer all questions or respond to all comments from my family. i appreciate their help and time. i'm thinking about writing them each a thank you card for that.

for everything else i do, i didnt mean to. no matter what i do, you must always know where you stand. even if you forget, i do remember where everyone in my life stands.

so, couldnt sleep last nite until 3 and kept on waking up in the morning *grrr* dont know who should i blame this on though...quite mad about being able to sleep well when i woke up this morning. was very tired and the thought of "can i stay awake in church or will i sleep through the sermon again?" aiii~ but i got up. couldnt go back to sleep anyway. the topic of the sermon today was on dealing with homosexuals. talked to Lynn about it tonite and to make it easier for me, shall I paste what i wrote her?
the highlights:
-homosexuals sometime dedicate even more time and love in God's name
-some heterosexuals may not have as much love for God as homosexuals
-we should not forget that some are good christians even if they sin
-we should hate the sins, not the sinners

good sermon, thanks, Lord.

My goddamn rock solid ghetto shiznit name is Slimmy Dawg Ice.
What's yours?


hehee, slimmy dawg ice.

had korean BBQ buffet with 4other friends tonight. thats the korean restaurant i wanted to try too. anyway, havent seen them in 1-2years. it's good to see familiar faces again instead of staying home all summer. had a good time talking and laughing about their stories and comments on various things. a few of them still go to clubbing. havent been to a club in 3-4years. clubbing, not good at it but it sure was fun. dont think i'll ever go to a club again until i'm 21 or older. oh there's a teen club in sacramento though. i just found out that 18+ can go in. last time lori and I found a gay neighborhood in west sacramento. clubs and flags everywhere. it'll be another spot we'll be visitng and exploring next year. we run out of places to go to when we get so bored in davis. it's not like hell, but it can be horrible.

one of my good friends from high school, lena, is a sophomore at UCB now. heard about her younger brother years ago. how he'd listen to her phone calls or read her emails, etc. such a brat!!! so someone tried to talk to me on aol messenger today with a screen name that'd give u an impression of dirty and sick people. but it turned out to be my friend's brother!!! i havent even seen him in 4years!! the same screen name tried talking to me when i was in college last year but i refused to read his msgs thinking that it's from a nasty stranger. so when i saw the same screen name again, i knew it's someone who knew me. her bro talked to me on aim before. kept askng me if i knew lena or not. i'm sure he'll tell lena that he talked to me on aim soon. pathetic. i'm glad i wasnt angry at him or anything. i even asked him how old is he but he said he doesnt even know me. so finally he had to go, i said nite to him. well.. maybe we should all show a little love to younger or older friends or family members. i'm sure my relationship with alan could be a lot better if I had shown him some love and patience and he had shown some of those too.

ok, tired now. nite, everyone.

so after telling me that we are going to SF early tomorrow, he now tells me that let's stay home. *^#%@$# (that was just coughing, u know) sigh~ was planning to buy some korean VCD in SF or something. school owes me some money from the left over on the financial aid and student loans. they wont give it to u until you pay for your tuition with your own money. i dont get it!!! can they be any slower on transferring money to needy students?? esp. now that they raised the tuition.

oh, held DoDo in my arms for 10mins today until he squeaked to alert me that he couldnt hold any longer. he made himself comfortable on my lap too. cute cute guinea pig~ =)

i showed my brother the schedule of my classes for next quarter. he commented that i seem to have a lot of free time next quarter. so i told him, "hmm, there're four classes in there if you havent noticed and i'm going to drop one soon." hey, i'm taking 12units next quarter! am qualified as a full time student =P yeah, maybe i should apply to sodexho (dining service on campus). ooh, or drive a bus!! ((i've been putting it off for 2years. you'll hear more about bus driving in the future))

just finished watching a korean drama series on tuesday or something. it was good and touching. i almost cried upon a few scenes. it's called the Romance. love the girl and their love in this drama series-Kim Ha Heul. love her character in the story too. she also played in Piano, Happy Together, and Ditto which i havent seen. i want to get those from SF now =\ i can tell that i'm quite addicted to the girl's personality and character in the drama.

it's the only thing i watch at night. sometime i watch elimindate and jay leno's show too.
met a high school friend, linhda, at a grocery store today. i havent seen her for 2 years. i stammered on what to said and finally she had to go. i felt bad giving her an impression that i had no interest in our conversation =( sigh~

to a physically distant yet mentally close friends (yes, talk about you here!) it's my honor to be able to talk to you again after we went separate ways for a year. i missed the times we spent encouraging and sharing with each other. i'm thankful for your return because i didnt know how much i miss you until you reappeared. people just never cherish until they lose it! yeah, you get my point. this summer is a memorable one. enjoyed all of our conversations and thanks for taking this friendship as serious as i do. oh, i have two more years to go too! i really would love to know what would i do after 2years =\ will I be in the US or Asia?

welcome home, Lori =) our new place will be a mess on monday =\ btw, dont forget to bring a vacuum and household cleaners up.

i was so bored that i changed beddings for 4hamsters. they stunk! eww... (sorry, hamsters, for forgetting to clean them up for you)

happy belated birthday. i'm glad that you had 21 people celebrating with you. i'm sure you'd have loved to have me there too. and about the vanvouver trip, dont worry about it. i know you were unhappy for a little while after hearing it. with the little time i've left before school starts, i dont think my bro can plan out anything to go up North. although we havent talked much, nothing has really changed. it's sad to know that you didnt fully enjoy your vacation with insecurity and worries. eddie told me to take care of you cuz he worries for you. it'd be another handshake if i were there. that was cute though. nothing is wrong with a man-to-man handshake. i miss spending time with you. even you've mentioned that we spend little quality time together. u know, i was telling you how we seemed different after being together? like, there're obligations or pressure, expectations and there's less quality time. before, i'd go to your dorm and stay over until we had to go to sleep. we'd talk, laugh, BS, and share like close close friends. i miss those nights. thats why i said to myself at the time, i will never tell you how i feel about you so i can keep this close friend (nearly best friend) forever. but i guess i am attractive =P ((ok ok, just kidding, but you all know that i'm arrogant right? )) anyone would like to know our story? she confessed first~

so i went to the orientation with my mom. i realized she really needs to listen to english more often. after an hour of introduction, she only heard a few things. i dont think she'd improve a lot with this little amount of time. plus, she isnt registered for the class. the lady who was really nice to us at the orientation told me to encourage my mom to show up for 2weeks to see if anyone drops out. i was ashamed of how i was discouraging her on her english and understanding. i'm sorry. i dont know..i've been putting my rage towards her these recent years. i changed a little bit for a short time but now i'm back to being impatient with her all the time. God, please help me.

also tried golden kiwi from New Zealand. they taste funny. nothing like normal kiwi. with yellow fruit. slightly sweet and sour. i like normal kiwi better.

so there goes the grand opening of IKEA in los alto. never knew that they give 20% off on purchases upon any student ID. shopping for furnitures is fun! wont get to do that in 2months. anyhoo, went to an orientation to a certified nursing assistant program. i realized it's quite easy to finish that program. too bad that it conflicts with my school time. anyway, mom needs to work on her english.

my day started out great. had a great night of sleep. got up at 1:30pm...sorry...those who had class at 8am =D anyhoo, just cash in all the red envelops i received for my last birthday and new year's before my bank account closes on me. then went to a few stores with my mom just because we had nothing better to do..hehe..how silly! ok, then we went to buy watermelon and orange juice. watermelons been very sweet in CA, gotta have as much of it before its season ends. my left arm is sore from playing basketball~
didnt have much time for DoDo these few days. can't blame me, he's always hiding in the corner! finally decided to change his bedding after seeing how unhappy he was and how bad his cage smelled ^^|| hmm.yea, so he was out running for 30mins tonite. pee twice. i stepped on it twice. sigh~ anyway, he had so much fun running the opposite way from ours. Dor and his curly fur. hehee, weirdo.

i miss my mid-length hair. it used to be silky and shiny. but...after i dyed it a few times...*ahem* so yeah, do not bleach your hair!

i'm glad that i'm feeling comfortable living with another girl who resides in my room for college. she's my mom's fd's daughter. her college is near my house. so my mom decided to let her stay in my room since i spend more time in davis than in san jose. first it felt awkward and uncomfortable to me. but after spending a day with her and her family, we had fun together talking about random stuff! i usually dont socialize with strange people. so they have to be really friendly for me to be talkative ^.^ the girl is still shy about living with us. but she came out and watched Dor run around for 15mins. she loved my guinea pigs ^_^ silly bebe squeaks at her a few times. anyway, i'm glad i got myself a friend.

it was Dor's 8th month birthday 2days ago.

i was down on my knees praying for forgiveness on trying to lure my friend back into an old sin. i was ashamed of myself.

some of my friends are going to see the phantom in SF this friday. i couldnt get a hold of tickets. duh, they got theirs 2months ago..hee, a little late =P i've never seen phantom but heard a little about it. i wish i have friends who love going to those and would go with me. lori, *ahem ahem*

you know, sometimes i hear about some excuses they use when they break up with others are that they are tired of how they were, or they grow less interesting to one another, etc. i believe when people get to know one another more and more over time, things would become interesting. but when a couple knows so well about one another and none of them continue to feed themselves with books/movies/music/art (another kind of growth). soon, people would find me boring, etc.
havent played basketball for years. it felt good to bounce and shoot the ball again. i guess doing different things or experiencing various type of activities are what add more spice to our daily routine.

i recently changed a little on fridae profile, what is important in a relationship:
the feeling for one another matters. i'm sure if you meet the right person with the right personality/logic/attitude/taste, etc and common wants and needs, chemistry will soon develop. time shall do the work.

so i showed mom the way to mission college yesterday and hand in her application. hopefully she'll pass all of her classes and become a certified nursing assistant.

so my friend told me that young butch in HK usually look down at popular ones. like they are superior or something. sigh, lesbians in HK.

oh, the only old friend/classmate from elementary/primary school that i still keep in touch with got into poly U ^_^ she's been the top of the class since i met her in first grade. i think i was within the top 3 students of the year for like 3years, so our grades were pretty close. then i fell behind... *whistles* anyway, i do feel that i'm not putting my talents into good use so i've become dumber >_< see, what american education has done on me?

ooh, good news. i lost 7lbs! what did i do? i sleep and kill most of my time watching TV or talking to my pets. pls dont let me jinx it!!!

http://hk.geocities.com/y_and_me_h_d/index05.04.htm

is it odd to imagine how would i react if my other half cheats on me? it's just a random thought. not that i wish it'd happen. i'm so sick of life at home. killing time isnt an easy thing to do when i dont have a goal of something to achieve. but i dont want school to start...eww. anyway, i think i'm nearly into schizophrenia. i've always like that word ^^ hehe, yes, strange me. uh, hmm...i need some companionship that i'm so used to.

i know you're unhappy right now...and that makes me unhappy too! i think i've mentioned your name and how long we've been together about 5times to 5diff people i talked to online. i think not having you around (i really feel that we are so far away with those 10-sec calls every day), from being unfamiliar to the sudden yet dramatic change to recent insecurity has developed in me. ofcourse i know how much you love me, plus there's no one better than me has appeared in your life (yea, i know how good or bad i am). well..i guess i should feel safe. insecurity and talking to myself here sux. please give me patience and love. treat me as gentle and caring as i were a mentally illed.

do u know how long i've been waiting for my cell phone to start a new month of service? i've been counting each day off since a week ago!! why? tell me why
i am so depressed now, gosh, but i'm sure u must be feeling worse. i'm sorry.

i am so bored lately as u can see how often i update my journal here =\
it's hot like davis today. so i guess davis must be like hell today. might have showers today. i want some rain right now.
was chatting with jackie last nite. she seems to be very friendly and someone worthy to meet if i ever go back to HK.

oh, yanzi sun is gonna take a long break. well, at least she's coming back.

so the thought of this suddenly pop up this afternoon:
can i stay if my other half cheats on me? or is having another relationship but yet holding to ours? ((well, it's not happening..so dont worry))
hmm... well, i dont think i can stand such relationship if it happened. perhaps, i know, with lori, if she ever falls for another person, that means she's lost the feeling for me already. oh, i'm saying this to scare you, silly. well, maybe if things happen, i wont be so confident and certain on how i'd respond!who knows?

just to share a little something. in my second relationship, the girl i fell for didnt tell me that she was with another person until we got together. so, to be exact and clear, i didn't know there's someone before me. and i think she's still with that person afterwards. not quite sure about now tho. but i remembered that she told me the other one really loved her for years. so, i hope they are still together =) dont hear from her at all now, so it's all up to our imagination.

gosh, i'm quite bored. need to find someone fun to talk to. where's lynn??

ooh, just in case anyone cares.. i called in tapioca express to see if they needed me. they probably will call me tmr if they do. miss the milktea if you ask why..hehe

i'm only talking 3 classes this coming fall. school on 9/25. just chat with an old classmate of mine since 1st grade on icq. i like the most over all the other friends cuz she still treats me the same after years. it's good to know that the other person is still holding onto the friendship i'm holding onto.

i finally realized that my bad temper last week was probably coming from my imbalanced hormones =P yes, blame them!
after a long chat with a good friend, i'm quite determined on what to do now. i guess, afterall, it's all satan's lies and tricks.

Let DorDor out running around the house tonite. he was circling bebe's cage tho. i'm sure he would've mounted bebe if there weren't any cage in between them. i feel sorry for not playing with bebe as much cuz she seems bored. fed her chinese cilantro tonite. she loved it.

ok, gonna sleep early now. cuz i do feel that my health isn't going too well. oh, finally watched an episode of queer as folk. it's pretty good.

so i slept at 4am again. woke up at 12:30pm and went to take a nap at 2pm cuz i was in extreme pain from mentrual period for 2hours (already taken some kind of pain reliever). so i woke up at 5pm and felt a lot better. finally had a late late lunch. wish somebody was there to take care of me. thank god mom was there. anyway, i get this kind of extreme pain like twice a year. there'd be lack of sugar in me that makes me wanna faint, feeling weak, and sweating. i usually want to kill myself upon the pain. stupid period.

just called for electricity service for my new place. ooh, good news, people!! my new apartment allows guinea pigs!! ^_____^ yay~ Dor gets to stay with me!

love nicholas tse. his voice accompanies me through some of my depressions. one of his new songs is called "continue to grow.." he continues to grow as time progresses silently. everything does.
i dont think we'd make good friends if he were in my life. i'm sure he's got his own attitude and temper sometime.

i used to wish to be a singer. well, perhaps every teen has dreamt to be one. ofcourse, i dont think my voice is good enough anyway. since we have digital cameras nowadays, i'll just sing in front of my own camera ^_* fortunate camera that is.

so talking to lynn everyday on icq is one of the exciting things i do now. (and you just left me for your drama! >_< ) hehe, jk~ i'm back to chatting with old friends. i realized i've known many people for years without meeting them in person. oh well.

so bebe is now in my room. watching her closing her eyelids and making herself comfortable in the dark corner just makes me wanna say "aww"... sigh, i've watched her grow in the past year after she got introduced into her new home. after we moved to diff places, i didnt get to see her everyday then. but that little girl still remembers me. i'd love to hug you, but you bite. sorry.

i think i need to manage my own bank accounts more carefully from now on. no more eating-outs when i'm back in davis. people i owe money to: eddy, wendy, ngan, phuong, lori, school and myself. i feel really insecure when i know i can't overdrawn my account one more time...helpless...i just gave up buying nicholas tse's new photo album and jozie lu's album. thank god no one knows. mom was scolding me when i said a $10 dinner isn't a big deal. i think they sorta sensed how much i pay for a dinner normally =P sometime i really hope that we can go through this together. i feel really bad seeing how hard my mom tries to be employed to help support the family. i'm ashamed of how wasteful i am. in other term, i'm too spoiled. (mom, love u..altho we blew your birthday...i hope you know that i'm always there for u...perhaps we dont do it often...but i'll try...)

so, i couldnt download robbie williams' a man for all seasons. i shall when i install kazaa. there's a new Ikea in palo altos or los altos this august. browsing through Ikea's catalogue is fun. trying to figure out how to arrange my living room. when i was a kid, i've always wanted to have a slide in my own room. you know those bunk beds with slides connected. i've always wished that i'd have that when i arrived the states. however, i figured i was too big for that and the condo we used to live in was too small. so, i grew into an older kid (mid to late teen). the thought of having a slide in my own room became too childish and useless. but i still think having a slide in ur room is no use and should grow sick of it.

dad hated me ever since i bought the papasan chair home. i recieved quite many put-downs on that. family, huh?!

i've used up all of my day time mins for this month. turning off my cell phone for 3more days.

anyway, i think a living room should need some kind of lumination. still searching for the perfect lamp.

went to see johnny english. loved its song! it smells like robbie's work. hmm, i like the movie ok. perhaps i wasnt enjoying much cuz i had a headache before going to the movie. but there're many scenes and ass-kicking dialogues that will crack u up. bond girls are hot!
anyway, i'm getting up earlier lately. often feel this need for another nap in the middle of the day tho. i realize i'd have headache if i get up too early in the morning (used to sleep 9hrs a day).

Lori, here's a nice song i've been listening to and wanting to dedicate this to you.
kelly's falling

Artist >> Robbie Williams
Song >> A Man For All Seasons
Johnny English Motion Picture Soundtrack

One eye on the shadows protecting his fellows
From sun up to the moon on his back
Sent the villains to Hades
A hit with the ladies
A stallion in the sack
You can’t get your life back
When right follows left Jack
The more you see the less you know
When others would leak it
His service is secret
Plays God when it’s your time to go

[Chorus]
Queen and country safe and sound
With villians six feet underground
And no one knows cause no one’s found
Any trace of a man for all seasons
Loves them and leaves them alone, so alone
And you and I wouldn’t have a clue
Who's doing what, why, when and who
Up the creek with no canoe
Watch out for the man for all seasons
Loves them and leaves them alone, so alone
But safe at home

From the House of Lords
Saving Norfolk Broads
Commoners and landed gentry
His word his bond
Whether brunette or blonde
Baby it’s so elementary
For the man never messed up your life with one stare
See the film you’ll know how it goes
But this ain’t no fiction
Just check the diction quid pro quo a pro?s pro
Fellas
Don’t be jealous
When they made him they broke the mould
So charismatic,
Willing, automatic
Never prematurely shooting his load
[Chorus]
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so how does it feel to be gaining weight and sitting at home?........well, i think i should start moving around =P

lori and eddie came over today to drop off bebe (my fd's guinea pig; the origin of my love for guinea pigs) and another hamster. so i'll be taking care of 2guinea pigs, 4rabbits (gave 3 away) and 4hamsters. so i basically spend more of my time doing something that i wasnt able to do when i was away fr home. i now watch hours of TV. i dont use the phone as often as before with lori now since we are both obligated to a certain degree. it's sad that we dont take advantage of our night minutes like before. but i'm still sleeping at 3am every night. hmm~ i usually go online late at night and start downloading clips/mp3s. i want to see the italian job. it feels like it's another ocean eleven.

might go see johnny english with mom tomorrow.

so I spent hours watching the vigilante force with dad today. we are one more episode to go before we complete this 30-episode drama series ^_^ hehe, great work, isnt it?
anyhoo, nothing much today. spent more time with my guinea pig. he seems to like me more today. he actually waits and watches as i lay my hand on his back. usually he gets scared and runs away. but this time, he just watches and doesnt move. his bedding is so dirty that i couldnt watch him suffer today.. but since there's no one to assist me on cleaning his cage. i added a bit more fresh bedding to cover up the soiled ones. tomorrow shall be the day. gonna let DorDor out to exercise while i clean up his mess.

so we went to valleyfair yesterday and everyone was tired from all the walking. i slept early last nite too!

i went to Lori's house to meet them and watched just married. didnt like it but the scenes of europe. then we head to play badminton and finished around 8:15pm. my arm, back and leg are already sore from the exercise. i dont think i've "rusted" too bad. still kept my footwork. or perhaps i could only play well on half the of the court if those folks didnt take over the other half .\/. anyway, i had fun. too bad that there's no hot guy to check out on... sigh~ what's wrong with SF?!!!

anyway, it was nice meeting eddie and joey these couple of days ^_^ and ofcourse, melissa, her Ben and michelle.
have a safe trip, eddie and lori! good luck on school and getting used to be a college student, melissa and michelle! ((BUNNY!!!))
i guess we wont have time to hang out again till next summer..haha, trust me, life becomes busy when you live away from home.

it's so funny that twins came up with this new album of classic kid's songs. good shot tho. their fans and kids will buy it for sure. i could imagine how much english they need to memorize in such a short time..hehee... it's horrible listening to the songs. %!#%$&!

... going to valleyfair with lori and her fds tmr. have to get up before noon =( i will try.

so i finally had the gut to email my bro about my thoughts. i tried my best not to sound bitter or whinny in the email. i cried as i was typing it up. i was too hopeless about the situation for too long. i dunno, it's complicated. i guess, only the love as a family can solve this.

it's so boring using internet now cuz i dont have all the bookmarks i saved in handy. so i only use it to talk to some fds and lori. i've been talking to many ppl whom i have lost contact with. i dont understand why i couldnt have the time to keep up with them.

ouch, eyes sore fr crying. thoughts of family made me cry.

went to mom's fd to BBQ today. then we sang karaoke for a few hours at night. we spent most of time eating =P and i heard so many chinese oldies that i've never heard of. it's funny. the lyrics, people in the MTV, it's like, er... what the...
then was questioned by a little girl about my gender. i was nice and just told her, u silly, come on.

so, when will i jog?

only had 6hours of sleep last nite and went to church today. i'm proud that i stop giving myself excuses not to go ^^ i think i better go to the one in davis cuz my bro starts to refer the church as wendy's church. i was like, hello, it's a chinese church in davis. i went there too.
things i dont like about bro's church are: ppl usually dont show friendliness towards me since i've been going there for years, they stop welcoming me like a newcomer; the student fellowship always has new ppl coming in and out; an increasing size of the people going there (many new babies and couples); i always pretend that i'm emotionless (i usually dont initiate conversation with ppl)
i'm an idiot!!!

i went back to look at pics of us. i miss dorm. i still dont understand why i complain so often about my roommate and i could've complained like once or twice about xtina. i guess, it's really not my problem this year. anyway, next year's life will be more independent life for me. even if lori isnt around, it'll only be me, our place, and my life that i need to worry about. no more of others' mess. i missed lori quite terribly last nite. it was rare, hehe.

we sorta had this argument tonite about verbal misunderstanding. please, no need to be angry just becuz i didnt fully understand and now i do. again, repeating doesnt mean i dont remember. forgetting doesnt mean i dont care. i love you.. but i've become more forgetful in recent years. i just can't help it. a little patience and the same great amount of love are all i'm asking from you.

watched TVB drama series the whole day and changed beddiings for DoDo and 2hamsters. dor is now in the living room. not fortunate enough to be rooming with me =P yay~ it's been a week that i havent done anything in particular (besides sleeping as much as i want). only if i could live like this forever (lets skip the lack of exercise part).

i love dor
i love you

so how does it feel to see pics of an ex-distant admirer? hmm... it's a weird feeling. i'm happy that she is who she is now and a pretty lady now. still remembered her voice. her voice is as deep as mine, that i had never expected ^^||| anyway, i'm sure i have more stories in my memory that i probably wont remember unless something triggers it.

it was boring listening to the conversation between my mom and her friends. i just never thought of what sorta things they'd talk about in the group. it's so lame. i guess, diff age groups discuss basically the common topics among the group over and over. and her friends treat me like i'm an expert in something. just becuz she knew my english is better and understands a lot better of american culture and customs. no, thats not called expertice in something. i couldnt help yarning in that 30min conversation. oh, her rabbit (white lop) is cute. hope she gets along with my black bunny.

spent my late night time with Do most of the time besides going online at night. i usually sleep after 2am and get up after 1pm. earliest was 11:45am =D i just couldnt resist the chemicals in my head. mom been telling everyone how lazy i am =P

so, is going back to hk in xmas a good thing to do?