finally going home today for chinese new year. not in any mood for last min review on stat at all, even tho my midterm is in 90mins ^^||| anyway, i can finally kick back over the weekend at home. weekend here is really diff fr living home. the surroundings are diff. i miss my watery bed in davis. i was studying on my bed the other nite and suddenly miss its "rubberi-ness". it's fun cuz it feels like a water bed. except u know that the fact is my mattress is totally messed up and used. (eww)

wow, felt like i havent been here for weeks. anyway, been through a week of midterms, still have one tmr but it's stat13. so glad that i didnt get into the other stat class cuz the one i'm in now seems very easy and light on hw. =D hehehe, yup yup. altho been thru quite some time worrying, it still turns out fine at the end. oh yea, almost lost my precious plant bio book the other time cuz i left it somewhere on campus. didnt remember until 20mins after and drove back to campus and found it safe on the table. oh yea, and i had a bio midterm the next day, thats why i was really really grateful for it. thank you, god. ochem midterm was easier than what i expected and what peeps been telling me. being extremely unprepared (only read the first two chapters in 4weeks; didnt even bother to try the practice problems, didnt even try to study beside going over the notes and past midterms) SIGH~ never been so bad and lazy for chem. i guess i kept having this idea that screwing one midterm grade isnt gonna hurt me. so yeah, but..thank god it's not so hard (and that i didnt study hard for it).

havent been home for days. i only slept in my own room once this week, good or bad? half half ba. i really want to spend as much time possible with lori and still get some works done. mac not happy.

just saw "new blood" with lori and joanna. it sux!!! waste of time, sigh. anyway, i'm feeling better now as i readjust to the life in davis. working on chinese hw, hehe, thats kinda cute. when and how should i go home next weekend? hmmm~oh yea, had fun hanging out since i only had little hw due tmr. havent had TK noodle for a long time. oh yea, an old old fd of mine, koy, called the other nite n we talked for 30mins. i knew her for like, hmm, almost 7yrs by the end of my sophomore year. wow~ altho we aren't any close fds, just buddies that used to hang out everyday. they never believe that i miss them too, sigh.

so, i'm back in davis. the weekend was horrible for most part of it. didnt have a chance to study at all. after all the packing for 2days, i was finally done by yesterday. so i took a break watching some will&grace i taped for the past 2weeks. only saw 2-3hrs!! thats the fun part over my long weekend. mom asked for a hug before i left home. so i got out the car and let her hug me. she only did this for a few times in the past 2yrs when i left home to school. but this time i said some harsh things to her. i dont know..since no one else cares about my comments, she was my last one to put all this on. sigh. i still miss BB...i gotta get another pet soon or else i would never go home again. goals for this week: stay home and study harder. falling behind in chem and botany.

i hate home!!! there's no more love =( i want to go back to davis. i'd rather stare into the space in my blankie. it's not the cleaning up or packing that annoys me; it's the attitude they order, scold at u, and rush u to finish packing. they accidentedly tore my drawing i drew in 9th grade. i've been keeping it (altho it's not my "masterpiece" or something, i just wanted to keep it cuz it's sorta memorable), anyway, so i had to throw it away. that sorta triggered me into tears. and another thing that lessens my attachment to my home and my family is that my baby hamster is gone. i kept having this urge to visit him and bug him, but i had to stop myself b4 i really went over to where his cage was located. even when i was really pissed off, i wanted to go see him and just have him accompany me. however, perhaps he wishes he could be there for me too. it's just funny. cuz whenever i was bored, i wanted to hop over to where his cage was to see him. but..... yeah, today's just depressing.

just watched "three", it was creepy. i got so scared. yeah, it's cool cuz there's finally a movie that gave me the creeps. my heart was beating so fast throughout the movie. well, i laughed at it at the beginning... hmm,anyway, go check it out la. hmm, didnt go to fellowship again. i think i'm getting LAZIER. sigh. someone pls whip me. so i went to have dinner with fds tonite, then watched one episode (an hour long, gosh) of lavender, played with BeBe the guinea pig (it's adorable!!! aww, BeBe), scored 12/10!!! whoohoo~

so..there goes my hamster. another death of another important part of my life. bro called yesterday morning telling me that my hamster was dying. at first i was just in shock. then a little tears. cuz i heard the background noises of my mom talking to BB. later, i heard mom's sobbing. she's attached to BB since i left for school cuz i sorta showed her how to play with him. everytime i call home, she'd tell me how BB behaves for the day,etc. i wasnt as sad as last time when duckie passed away. eyes were sore for the rest of the day. i even forgot about the death of my hamster later in the day; my eye sore was the only proof that i had cried. anyway, i'm going home this weekend. gonna clean up BB's stuff (house and toys), then my own stuff. gonna study for ochem over the weekend. davis is so cloudy and foggy. it makes me wanna stay home all by myself, doing nothing, organizing my room,etc. i miss those times.just being alone.

mom is letting her fd's fd's daughter stay in my room cuz she's going to SJSU!!!! ARGH. so it says it all, i have to go home this weekend to clean up my room, etc. should i bring my baby hamster over? i guess keeping it in davis with me will eliminate my will to go home. i told mom that i wont go home fr now on, perhaps once a month. she knew i'm pissed off. well, i was. but she told me that the girl is gonna "take over my room" tonite, i was sad. well, first, the trouble of putting away everything in my room; second, i wont have my own room when i go home; third, i know i'll be less attached to my family fr now on (esp. how i dont want to go home as often as usual). anyway, life goes on. at least i have my own apartment in davis. now, i'm more certain that i do not want to share my room with anyone anymore. even lori. i'm not happy!! rawrrrrr~

so tired. so need to catch up reading for classes. need to do hw. aiya

foggy. havent seen so much fog at nite. not in a good mood. dont want to make it any worse.

been away fr home for 3days. thats why i didnt update my journal at all ^^|| anyway, been staying with lori for the past weekend. stayed home, played with BB the guinea pig, went out to shop for grocery, cooked meals together, had hot pots at nites, talked about stuff we never shared b4, etc. missed church on sunday cuz we got into a fight and spent hours going through it till 3-4am. just couldnt handle staying awake in church with 4hrs of sleep, so i slept in. wendy said i looked tired and about-to-get-sick when i went home after 3days. she even urged me to go to bed right away. do i really look that horrible? hehe

the butch in my stat is cute!! i can't wait to be her fd. it's funny how i'm finally seeing more les on campus. year of 2005 lacks some unique peeps like them! Hi, joanna.

dont want to go home next weekend, should i????!!!!!

today is our seventh month anniversary. yup yup. sun's been good for 7months already. it's kinda amazing if i think about it. like how i stop keeping an eye on those who pass by or in my class. hmm...got a dozen of white roses for her cuz it's sth meaningful to her and i know i should be the one to take the honor in doing so. oh, been taking new pics with her new digital camera too. got many nice ones ^^ probably will have them uploaded over the weekend. staying in davis this weekend to sorta catch up on all of the assigned readings for my classes. oooh, I DIDNT GET INTO PHYSIC7a!!!!!!! RAWRRRRR. anyway, it was less humiliating and nervous than the BIS1b. first time experiencing heartbreaks (in getting into the class).hehe..yea, then i added stat in 5mins. taking 2sci classes and one chinese class is too relaxing for me. shouldnt waste time, u know. a fd of mine who graduated with a BS in biochem, hasnt started looking for a job yet. i sorta wanted to know if there's a market for a bachelor degree in just physical science/biological sci.

there are many things i'd like to type in here. however, some of them will portrait negative impressions of me in the eyes of readers and fds. it's sad how i have to keep some of those in my heart and let them be forgotten in the near future. well, i havent murdered anyone, if u wonder. argh, i didnt get into physics!!!!

oh, there are 2butches in my stat discussion. one chinese and one white. i need to be fds with the asian one. where's my class at? thursday, 6-7pm at wellman230. come check out the hottest butches in town. (just kidding, hehe, it should be in singular form tho =P )

had the nastiest korean food tonite. didnt think it was a waste of money cuz i'd pay any price to not eat it. anyway, i ordered "spicy kimchi soup" which is the most ordinary/traditional type of korean food. but then it was really sour and full of a weird tofu taste. *shivers* nasty nasty nasty! but the other fish soup and the little side dishes were good. sticking to eating at tofu house and order only their BBQ ribs will be my choice next time.

a tiring day. my day began at 7:10am.

hmm, after i make sure i have enough cash on me, i'll go buy the vans skating shoes. oh, been planning sth special on wednesday.

first day of school was horrible in general. been tired all day. and some classes were cancelled and they didnt even inform us until we were all ready for class. anyway, chinese was horrible too. extremely boring. should i be taking this class? hmmmmmm. very tempting. oh, and btw, UCD lacks good looking people. but it's cute cuz there's a crowd of nice and friendly folks.

yay~ back to davis tonite. realized how short the driving distance is if i start from milbrae instead of san jose. i'm kinda tired now. finally changed my sheets, so happy cuz it's so clean now ^_^ anyway, forgot what i was gonna write for today. so, it's ur loss. (oh, btw, i weight myself again after lunch today, hehee, 103.2 lbs!) ^_________^ i thought i gained a lot of weight too.

to all the mothers out there:

do not put citrus oil/juice in food try to make it more nutritious for ur children cuz my mom's food just proved it wrong!! was eating porridge for lunch today and couldnt help tasting some kinda bitterness in it. finally mom revealed that she added the peel of a grapefruit, explaining how it's good for ur health to be eating the peel (i know the white stuff between the peel and the fruit is good for ur health and it's been proven). but my porridge just tastes so bad cuz of the bitterness >_< yea, i'm also eating it for dinner. please, let food stay simple. i dont know if it's "the taste of love" inspires my mom to be more creative on cooking or what. argh. oh, remember there's one time when i was still on the tennis team for my high school. i usually brought a jug of water with me. one time, the water just tastes totally nasty and undrinkable to me. the reason behind it was that dad added salt in all the water in the house cuz it's good for ur body. hmm, i know thats what gatorade is made out of, but...water with salt is just unbearable to ur mouth and the thirst after a few hours of practicing. ok, end of story.

felt a bit better today. didnt have anything to do. maybe thats why i was in a bad mood later in the evening. spent my 12midnite in bed. was on the phone with a friend who counted down with me.

u know, it sux when there's no one to share the important moment(s). i actually scrolled down my list of phone numbers and found a few that i'd call them up and say hi...well, i text msged them instead.

been gaining weight at home cuz of the continuous supply of food available at home and how i'm no longer picky on what to eat. however, (no snickering yet!) i lost all the weight i gained in these few days. amazing, isnt it?! (yeah, i wish i could get sick like this everytime i gain weight)

oh yeah, flora chan looks pretty good in the TVB 2003 calendar ^_^