What would happened if Lord Jesus didn't save me from my homosexual behaviors?
What would happened if Lord Jesus didn't show me a way out of my homosexual behaviors?



My life would have continued toward an end, a separation from everything that's true, noble, right, admirable, pure, lovely, praiseworthy and good.

There is so much more life in exploring and seeking the Creator. There is more to life, than living without Creator.

My resting heart rate has gone up to 96bpm last week.... I become tired easily, not motivated to exercise, have a hard time relaxing. I can hear my heart pound inside of me. I keep praying to God to heal me, to touch me, to glorify Him, show me who He is during this time of healing and resting.
Today heart rate has gone up to 126bpm while I sat on a conference call. It was difficult to focus and analyze what the call was about.

This is a frustration period where my body can't catch up with my mind nor complete what my mind wants to achieve.

Is this what the holy spirit go through when I disobey him?

http://www.lifehack.org/articles/communication/60-thought-provoking-questions-that-will-change-your-perspective-life.html

1. Who are the people you surround yourself with?

 I surround myself with people who are sincerely concerned about life and those who care for me.
Friends who share spiritual findings with me, my parent who love me unconditionally, and I enjoy quiet time alone or God.

1. How do you express your gratitude for good things and people you have in your life?

I praise the people around me and I give thanks to God. Sometime I'd pray for them and pick them up in their hard times.

1. What are you spending your money on?

Mostly on myself, clothing, dining out, traveling, home.

1. Are you satisfied with your work?

I am enjoying work and constantly struggling for a balance of integrity and performance.  Overall I'm content to be here.

1. Did you pause to celebrate the last time you accomplished a goal, big or small?

All the time, I celebrate with my fav food, snacks or sweet drinks. 

1. Do you consider yourself worthy of love and admiration?

I deserve love and admiration. I'm becoming the person I want to date and marry!

1. How do you react when you encounter a homeless person?

I look away and ask God to forgive me for being heartless. I always doubt how they will spend the money, it's very hard for me to let go of hard earned money.

1. Do you meditate daily for at least 5 minutes?

Yes, esp when I drive ~30min to work. I'd pray and give thanks to God, asking God to lead every decision that I make this day.


How do you deal with failure?

I'm very bad at it, I hate failing, failures/mistakes make me feel sad, useless and worthless. When failure hits me, I'd be very quiet and avoidant of crowds. I'd withdraw to solitude, may eat unhealthy snacks/sweet drinks to cheer me up, I'd talk to Jesus, do self talk to find out what makes me sad. I usually need a few days/weeks to sort through things and emotions if it's a big failure.

1. What is your favorite quote? 

If He brings you to it, He will bring you through it.

1. What do you want your life to look like in 5 years? Do you have a plan to get there?

In 5 years, I hope I'm married and starting a family. My plan to get there is to pray and wait for God to answer His own promise for my family. I should be in a different position at my career, possibly the same company but greater responsibilities.

1. What inspires you?
2. If you could only speak one word today, what would you say?
3. When was the last time you took some time to be alone?
4. If you could spend 15 minutes with anyone, living or dead, who would it be? Why?
5. Did you say “I love you” to the most important person in your life today?
6. What step can you take today in order to fulfill your deepest desire?
7. How have you educated yourself today?
8. What did failure to reach your goal teach you about yourself?
9. Did you read a positive or uplifting book today?
10. Are you holding on to any past mistakes?
11. What habits are holding you back from success?
12. Are you feeding your fears or your hopes and dreams?
13. What gives you peace?
14. How do you challenge your assumptions?
15. What is the biggest frustration you’re facing now?
16. Are your goals and dreams written down?
17. What is your relationship with money?
18. How do you keep a sense of perspective when life gets difficult?
19. Are you a good listener?
20. What gives you meaning?
21. How often do you keep in touch with family and friends?
22. What is the source of your procrastination?
23. How much time are you spending on social media?
24. Are you able to say no, even when it makes you unpopular?
25. Who are your professors in the school of life?
26. Do you bring your work home with you?
27. When was the last time you had an exciting idea that kept you awake most of the night? Are you pursuing that idea today?
28. What are the top 2 compliments you hear from people about yourself?
29. When someone sees your name on caller ID, what thoughts and feelings do you want them to have?
30. Have you ever invested in yourself financially? Why or why not?
31. If you were asked to describe yourself in one word, what would it be?
32. What books have influenced you the most?
33. Who are the people under your influence?
34. Do you trust your own instincts?
35. Do you choose happiness or leave it to chance?
36. Are you open to experiencing something outside your comfort zone everyday?
37. What small habit can you change today?
38. What’s your favorite exercise routine?
39. Name one psychological barrier in your life? What is it holding you back from doing?
40. Do you fear rejection? What are you doing to overcome this fear?
41. Do you follow through on commitments?
42. How many times a day do you check your email?
43. Are you content? If not, what is the source of your lack of contentment?
44. If you could eliminate one things from your life today, what would it be?
45. Who are you becoming?

I encourage you to go through the questions again, slowly and deliberately. This list is not exhaustive, so I hope it inspires