Hi, sis, I value you and our friendship and that's why I have given some deep thoughts all night and day in working things out with us and communicate our differences. I appreciate your communication and openness because you care about our friendship.

同你有衝突我好唔開心,我覺得自己好無用,我好驕傲,生氣自己,成日不知不覺傷害和趕走愛我的朋友,我最怕自己孤單一個.
你指出我的"攻擊人hostile pattern"令我想到心理治療師上個月也指出來,我一直都不知而經常做的pattern. 多得你指出,否則我不意識自己在重覆this unhealthy pattern. 就算我不自知,我要為我的行為帶給你傷害而道歉,請你寬恕我.

根據therapist,這個pattern是源自我對原生家庭的suppressed anger, 而channel out toward others, 這樣對身邊無辜的人是不對和不公平的. 我還在逐步地幫自己離開這damaging pattern,不知需要幾多時間,我會努力work on my issues. 我亦需要你的幫忙和耐性,如你願意, 下次見到我對你hostile/擺你上枱,please let me know nicely. 這樣可以幫我increase my awareness so I can do something about it. Because of your love to share with me, you help me become aware of my issue. After I reflect upon them in the last 24 hours, I begin to see my limitation and mistake. It is difficult for me to admit my own limitations, to admit I'm arrogant, but I'm glad I did because you care about me enough to tell me how you really feel inside. Thank you!

Hi, sis, I value you and our friendship and that's why I have given deep thoughts all night and day in working things out with us and communicate our differences. I appreciate your communication and openness because you care about our friendship. Knowing there is a conflict between us saddens me, I feel that i am useless, I am so arrogant, angry with myself, unknowingly hurt and drive others away, I am afraid to be alone without any friends in the end. You pointed out that my "verbally attack/hostility pattern" reminds me of what my psychotherapist also pointed out last month, I did not know that I do this frequently. I'd say words to others with a hint of anger without knowing. I'm grateful that you pointed out to me, otherwise I'd still be unawared of this unhealthy pattern. Even though I was not aware nor intentionally attack you, I am responsible for my action and I apologize for hurting you, please forgive me. According to therapist, this pattern is derived from my suppressed anger toward my family of origin. Because it was suppressed over the years, this anger finds ways to channel out toward others (who are innocent). That is not right and unfair to those around me. I am gradually working on this issue and just beginning to be more aware of it, I do not know how much time it will take me, but I will work hard on it and other issues. I do need your help and patience, if you are willing, next time when you notice this hostilty in my conversation, please let me know nicely. This can help me increase my awareness so I can do something about it. Because of your love to share your anger with me, you help me become more aware of this damaging pattern in my life. After I reflect upon them in the last 24 hours, I begin to see my limitation and mistake. To admit my own limitations, to admit I'm arrogant is extremely difficult, but I'm glad I did because you care about me enough to tell me how you really feel inside. Thank you! If you think of any other conflict between us in the past, please let me know and we can make time to talk and listen face to face. I really don't want any conflict remain unresolved between us. I won't make it to church tomorrow due to work. I'd make time for you just let me know when you're ready.

Lord,
I feel so uneasy all day. I know I finally took care of the Prius recall on the side airbag and spent 2 hours and changed up my plans to exercise and relax. I don't know what is troubling me inside. I went to Daiso, Grocery outlet, places that I used to enjoy wandering at. Yet, they didn't bring me peace and enjoyment.
If unloading everything to You is the way to go, here I am unloading feelings and thoughts that have yet made sense to me. During shopping at Daiso, I felt dizzy and weak. I thought I was hungry or dehydrated. I just don't know what is going on inside me. Lord, what is really going on inside of me? Can you please tell me?

"You're dealing with a lot, 搞到你"陀陀擰".
好辛苦,很難再這樣過活每一天.......how do I get out of this, Lord?

我撐不下去了

主,你要我當如何看和行呢?

Jesus: come lean on me.
I lean into Your shoulders and cry; I have no more strength to hold myself up.
Jesus: 有我和你一齊行, I know what's out there.

I feel more at ease, more peace, being comforted and reassured of Jesus' presence to face my challenges.