Thursday, May 30, 2002

it's sooooo

HOT

lately...

OH GOD..!!! >_< it's like..it's really bad. it's like 97F today.(around 36degree celcius) anyway..glad that we have AC in our dorms now..altho roomie prefers "room temperature" (sigh). anyhoo, went to finish painting for my bowl ^^ it looks pretty nice~ hehee..well, i made it, so yeah. =P went to a chamber music concert today..the music was really nice.. but i still fell asleep for like 15mins. too bad~ i was tired. oh..i'm still full fr dinner. the tercero BBQ is so much better than last time ^o^ yummy~ it's funny how we became closer after we acted so gay and gross... it's like, we talk about sex everyday; but thats why it's fun to hang out. i think my preverted side has been reawakened =p gotta make sure that i dont bring this home ^^||| and have to eliminate my "yiu~" and "diu". yes, me bad bad. ok, have a paper to finish within the next 30mins. so talk to y'all later.

oh, btw, plans for this weekend: get rid of the stupid blister on my thumb; finish math hw; start on english essay thats due on monday; play ping-pong with mom and bro on sat; print out online fictions in chinese and movie stars' pics at bro's office (yes, that means free ink and paper); drop off my starbucks application; "trim" my hair. hmm..thats about it.
haha, it's funny how i have this kinda drama in college too...so weird... actually, this kinda drama has never happened to me. i really tried staying neutral in others' problem; but ofcourse i took my side based on my own interpretation ba. anyways, if becuz of the complaints i posted here earlier causing problems to my friends, then it's my fault. if any of u guys is still not satisfied or confused or unhappy about what i wrote here earlier, u may confront me. let me know if i'm wrong; you're my friend, help me grow and understand u better if u believe there's room for improvement.

dear, my journal is a really personal place where i write down thoughts of the moment. if they offend anyone, i'm sorry. but no need to blame it on other people; u can confront me. i dun want others to get involved just becuz of my own opinion. i take full responsibility for my own action/thoughts. and i dont hate anyone. i will never waste time to hate a person or to create an enemy. it's not the whole person that i dislike; it's just about the way my friend deals w/her own problems that saddens n upsets me. thats why it's like anyone's personal opinion on a certain issue. but this time it's about mine. no need to take it so seriously. if i really dislike anyone, i'll let that person know. if i'm not, ur still my friend. but if ur not happy about what i said about u in the public and not willing to accept my apology, i'm sorry but i'll respect whatever u plan to do. i remembered u asked me once if i'd do the same thing as ah por did to u in the future? i answered you, "i dont know, unless u piss me off. but u havent so far. and i will not promise anything." i dont get mad easily. when i do, there must be a reasonable cause to it.

i'd like to apologize to those whom i caused unneccessary troubles/misunderstanding to. lori, sorry about causing/stirring up this whole thing n caused unneccessary worries. laura, i'll make sure no misunderstanding will occur between u and those who are involved in this shit that i caused. denise, u can choose to deal with things the way u want, no need to follow the way i wanted u to; just do whatever that u believe is right. i'm not mad at u and i'm sorry about the tone/attitude towards ur decision in this thing between u two. i'm just tired of discussing this thing again and again when no one is willing to make any change and u already think this is the best way anyway; so why bother mentioning it? no need to judge who's rite or wrong. i hope this is the last time we'll have to bring this up. period.

Wednesday, May 29, 2002

teng lei goh faai... i finally want to study and do hw... but.. all kinds of noises are in the room..GREAT. i'm pretty pissed off now...but...couldnt do anything about it cuz they are all my fds and roomie.
i got a blister on my thumb fr the freshly baked walnuts on the walnut prawns..dohh! that was kinda embarrassing and stupid..=P anyway..blister loves me. it's still here! (argh) it's so hot today...i slept thru 2 out of 3classes today..like pretty bad this time. hardly woke up and when i did, i'd fall asleep within 5secs. slept at 3 last nite. finished paper in the last min and couldnt sleep as usual. oh well.

Tuesday, May 28, 2002

ok, i just lost my freaking entire entry. FUCK! u do not know how mad i am and how tired i am after typing that whole thing. i'm kinda tired of bringing this topic up again law..i thought it was over..but it came back again. hm... (i hate netscape and blogger)...my freaking entry is so freaking long....oh god...anyway! i'm so sick of this. so sick of blogger. ok, i remembered i typed something like, i told roomie once that i'd pick this over that if i have to. and what else did i write?? SIGH...u know what...screw this...i remembered i wrote a lot of shit about him and lots of my inner thoughts about bebe and her personality (devotions to fds,etc)....she's weird...she loves to sacrifice for her fds whom she met for such a short time =P

oh, and i talked to a friend at 4-5am just now about her problems. if i were in her situation, i'd never do such things to a friend who treated her wholeheartedly and sincerely. maybe i'm wrong about things, but it's not my business anyway. i also want to thank den for giving up her "close friend" cuz of some stupid reasons; therefore i had a chance to get to know lori n the rest of the crew better towards the end of my freshman year. i'm serious, thank u so much. or else, i'd never realize how much fun i can have with the ppl fr the second floor and how i was wrong about kitty being too "forceful" and "playful". actually, i feel bad for having a stereotype on her like this for such a long time. sorry, man. =p and i'm kinda glad that things between u guys will never be the same like b4.. i'm selfish, i know. yeah, one person will be so happy after reading this since i hardly mention this in person. anyway.. according to what den used to say, i dont understand her cuz i already took my side and that i'm stupid cuz i disagreed with her. it's ok, man.. no one understands everyone except herself...same here.

Monday, May 27, 2002

woke up at 2 today...slept for 9-10hrs. it's not a lot...played cards with friends till 4 last nite..hee.. i think i should stop "gambling"... ok, plan for tonite and tmr is to finish hws due wed. just realized that i spent about 40+hrs with my friends in the last 3-4days. i laughed so hard last nite cuz of lori's weird sneeze...i havent laughed so hard for a long time ^^ it's like, i laughed so much in the past 3-4days. anyways. should put an end to this and focus on my last 17days of school. i want to go home...miss my hamster and going home will remind me of my summer vacation...so yeah..^^ cant wait to finish my classes for this year.

Sunday, May 26, 2002

missed church today..sigh.. slept at like 2-3am ba...got up at 11pm..went to eat dim sum at sac at 1...so full. and grocery shopping for like an hr again. and yea, been acting pretty gay and lame lately...but i have fun. i think i should stop having fun and get more things done before it's too late. ^^|| i'm hardly in my room now.. roomie must've missed me so much =p (yes, she does!)

played cards with fds last nite till like 2am... drank a little bit of alcoholic beverages (only 4%alcohol and it tasted like sprit) i want to play mahjong tho.. i kinda loved it a few years ago...like i actually missed the feeling of playing around with it in my hands. anyway...we dont have a set here. it's arite, i'll wait till next yr *chuckles* oh yea, kitty and ro poured cold water on me while i showered... *grr* but i think i avoid two of their attacks ^_^ cuz i knew it was coming.

Saturday, May 25, 2002

hehee, guess what, my backpack has been sitting there since my last class on fri...like all notes and stuff are still inside..^^|| whoops. anyway, it was a nice nice friday tho. i got my math midterm back and did really well on it which i'm very grateful for and proud of! ^__^ yeah...getting 2B's for sure this quarter..^_^ oh, great, just knew that i did fine on my chem midterm too! ^^ yes! "excellent" i dont know, maybe the classes im' taking this year are easier or that i actually work harder for them..=P i'd agree to both theories. anyway, went to el cerrito to sing karaoke for 2-3hrs; shopped at a supermarket for hrs; and tried looking for a decent restaurant for 1hr at 11pm. haha..but yea, finally ate at Daimo, it was awesome. food there is better than mommy's (surprisingly). anyway... then got back at like 1-2am. didnt sleep till 4:30am bah... i think i woke up many times in the morning but went back to sleep since roomie was still sleeping. got up at 12:40pm.. went to sac and ate dinner at 4:30pm!! hehee ^^||| actually, it's like my first meal of the day; like, breakfast, lunch and dinner all at once. oh yea, no classes on tuesday~ and wednesday is a light day too ^_^ somehow i feel that life is finally going my way *sigh of joy* the feeling of having a bright future awaiting me is back..hehe...there are only 19days of dorm life left. hrm~ so fast.. already spent almost 9months here. so many things happen yet it seems so fast. i dont know, i'm gonna miss dorm life and hate the next 3years in college. sigh, upper division classes, yikes! plan for the weekend, mon and tues: finish hws for music, math and english; go to church; watch some movies so i can clean up my hard drive; and pack up a little bit.

Thursday, May 23, 2002

yanzi's latest album-"leave" is out!! it's awesome! ^_^ plus, yesasia is giving out her poster with a purchase of her CD, pretty tempting. anyway.. it's good.. i like all of her songs fr that CD. the lyrics and how she presents her songs. anyway, i'm just happy to find another great album that's worth listening to after karen mok's.
slept at 3something and woke up at 11cuz roomie called. anyway, then went to a student piano recital for an hour and picked up the first half of the drama series "jum chun kei". went home and ate noodle without lori's meat, sigh~ oh yea, last nite we made rice dumplings, the sweetened dumplings w/red bean paste inside and u eat those on new year's day,etc. yeah, it was pretty fun. they were surprised that i'd rather stay there with them than to "study"...well...true, i'm surprised myself but just didnt feel like leaving kitty all by herself making dumplings. yes, i'm so "considerate"~ =P hm...the dumplings tasted fine but looked a little odd. i cant wait to get out of chem class tmr!!! cuz i'll be free until finals week! YES! *tears* i dont know. i've been feeling weird without roomie here for 2days...but now it's like i need to put headphones back on if i want to study. hmm~

oh yea, all the download links i posted here are gone now...so yeah.

Wednesday, May 22, 2002

had a nice 2hr-nap today. it actually felt like 4hrs..anyways, studied half of my day for chem again..better start on music...sai~ anyway, went to segundo for dinner with my temporary tercero family. lori nap for 2hrs at my place today..haha..so piggish~

oh..yea, lynn finally got my 5-pages-letter..hehe..^_^
finally finished watching "dry wood pierce fire"...it's so funny and cute. anyway, slept at 4 and woke up at 8:30 today. ofcourse missed my beloved chem class at 8. okay, major studying today.

Tuesday, May 21, 2002

finished lab early today and ate at silo. came home and watched first half of "dry wood pierce fire" (yes, people, it's literally translated into english, sigh) anyway, miriam is funny...altho the first half of the movie sucks but cute, i wouldnt pay to watch this. anyway, louise goo is hot! i want to watch "jum chun kei" already~he looks so fine in it! okay okay, i should study more for chem..since i havent been doing so..oh shoot, have music listening quiz on fri also..argh. oh, woke up somewhere before 10 today to finish chem lab write up..thx to andy for waking me up. i realize that i usually am in bad mood after getting up...esp to those i care and love. sigh~must remember not to take things for granted.

Monday, May 20, 2002

slept somewhere after 3am last nite and got up at 7:25. so tired!! i finally slept thru 2of my 3morning classes..hehee...was up talking to roomie about things. one of the things she mentioned really stirred my anger towards someone whom i no longer care for. am i being too sensitive or too radical or is she really weird and so *freakin* desperate?!!! i am glad things are over. it again proves to me that i did the right thing. stupid desperate people are scary and ignorant!(ofcourse i used to be for a while too) it's just so scary when u realize that people use u physically or emotionally just becuz they are ignorant themselves. this whole thing just reminded of what happened with me and mai in freshman year. i just felt so annoyed whenever i mentioned her. it reoccurs now on a diff yet similar person. if u know who u are, please stop ur "trying-to-be-my-friend-and-be caring-and-stuff"... honestly, i dont know what and why are u doing this for or thinking about my life in ur way, i am fine. i acknowledge that i'm les. i will never deny to my history and my current status. if u think u'd have an influence on my life, sorry, you're not that great. sorry if things arent as bad as i thought. and thx for not talking to me on aim, i really appreciate it. not i try to ignore u or hate u, its just that i dont feel like talking to u and just chit chat w/u like what we did b4. i've got things to do(finally working hard, u know)..

to lynn, dont worry about what i wrote above ^^||| it's a long story and pretty complicated. anyways, dont worry. i'm fine. here's been raining and windy...where's my summer? ^^

oh yea, met lani on aim today and was kinda excited. we talked for a bit and she responded pretty quickly. i was gonna ask her for a pic of her but she had to take her midterm soon. so yeah, i hope i'll see her on aim again. that girl just never appears on aim.

lost like a pound or two in these 3weeks.. thats a good thing ^^ i dont gain or lose weight easily...i guess its a good thing.

Sunday, May 19, 2002

havent updated journal over the weekend ne~ ^^ well, i had a nice weekend oh~ like..i really enjoyed it and felt that it was fulfilling....treated foxie and money for bday dinner on fri nite. fox liked my hand-painted bowl but doubted if it's safe to use. met joey at starbucks and chatted with her for 2hrs about a lot of things. it was really fun and it brought us back closer ba, especially i "disappeared" for quite a while. then went to feuy's house to visit her. she's my HS buddy, one of my closest ones in HS. she is pregnant for 7-8months (sigh)..i finally met her on sat. we talked for like 1-2hrs. feuy and kerry filled me into a lot about their lives (relationships, school, family). i'm just glad that they didnt ask me nor mention anything about my relationship. anyway, it just made me think a lot about life after i met feuy. it's like, she's 19 and i'm 19. we chose diff paths in life. they mentioned about sex too...gosh, those girls. well, ofcourse, i'm not very innocent myself. i'm perhaps as corrupted as they are in a diff direction. then went to bro's choral celebration/worship fr 7:30-9:30 with mom cuz bro was in it.(he sang for many other choral performances b4 but he never insisted us to go) so yeah, mom wasnt so willing to go but i made her. it was pretty nice. it's kinda surprising.. bro's team was awesome. i enjoyed all of their songs. ^_^ and plus i think i can use this to fulfill one of the listening assignments for music class too. oh, didnt sleep well at home tho...very strangely. it's like, all the noises at nite made me stay alert and cautious. esp how my house is located right on a busy street...u hear cars sometimes at nite. oh well, have one more month of school left~ gonna miss my dorm..sigh.

and oh yea, realized i was impatient and tempered with my mom again. sigh, i'm so sorry. it's like...i knew i talked like she pissed me off but i couldnt control it b4 it was too late. anyways, but things got better after a while of chatting with my mom about school and people.

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according to one simple test, my mental age is 25. the level of my maturity is 46%; immaturity is 60%. this is in chinese and somehow innaccurate since most of the answer choices are obvious to be silly or mature. http://jeffhk.uhome.net/age.htm

talked with roomie till 4am..i am dead tired now. actually, i'm alrite..just slept thru math class..wasnt as bad as i thought la~ but..we had many cool converstations..^^ we havent talked like this for quite a while... maybe it's better if i dont have class at 8 in the morning the next day. i am excited about going home...poor nganie is cramming for her chem midterm in 50mins..fridays are supposed to be all cool and stuff...poor thing.

plans for this weekend: dinner w/foxie and money tonite; lunch with joey on sat; to go to bro's choral performance in sat evening; ready to go back to davis. sigh.

it's funny how "ng kwun yu" has changed so much in these recent years..she used to be like the kind of actress that plays comedian character or just silly character..but after she lost weight, she looks so much better! and she sometimes looks pretty cute too.

from the movie "dream of the dance".

Thursday, May 16, 2002

missed music concert today cuz we were late again.. i'm kinda pissed off...we are always late to eng and concerts..WTF..can ppl stop walking so slowly and taking their time when u have to make it fr tercero to olson in 5-10mins? argh. okay, ate ice cream for lunch again and had a tummyache afterwards..hehe ^^|| oh yea, planning to stay at davis for the long weekend to hang out w/my HK group. gonna go sing karaoke and eat at "dei moou koon" in richmond ^.^ oh yea,dorm AC is finally on~but roomie already complaining that room is too cold.. i was like, "wwwwhat?"

just watched "Princess-D" today w/terren honey and slave (jk). i actually liked the movie, esp the first half of it where CGI shows off its graphics...i think it's pretty cool..altho the plot was..kinda confusing and seems to lack some development to it..i still dont think angelica lee is pretty or hot..but i like the way she looks as a bartender. oh, and i hate edison's character in the story..i hope that isn't him in real life, well, he resembles somewhat to the character but hopefully not fully. anyways..i dont know how to write a review for this, so let's see what paul fox has to say about this.

Reviewed by: Paul Fox
Date: 04/14/2002
Summary: Princess-d Flies Off With the Plot

Princess-d is the latest highly anticipated film from actress turned director Sylvia Chang. Her direction combined with the teen heartthrob star power of Daniel Wu and Edison Chen the film might be deemed an almost certain success. Almost? The title "Seung Fei" bears a meaning of desiring to fly. In some ways to have freedom to go, to be free to fly after your dream is the central theme of the film.

The film's strong point lies in its rich development of interesting characters. Daniel Wu plays Joker, a graphic artist working at developing cyber girls for computer games and interactive demos. Angelica Lee, in her second big screen performance, stars as Ling a young girl living life in the dark side of Hong Kong trying to resolve the sins left by her father and created by her brother. Ling's strong personality (along with a bit of an acid trip) gives Joker the inspiration he needs to develop his new cybergirl. Edison Chen plays Kid, Jokers younger brother whose only enjoyment in life is playing ICQ and sleeping. Anthony Wong gives a cameo as the boys' father, who teaches ballroom dance in their studio apartment.

But all of these rather interesting portrayals are soon lost in a rather muddled storyline. Joker's fascination with both Ling and Princess-d seems to be trying to emerge at certain points, but this conflict is never really expressed. Does he really love Ling or only her representation of Princess-d? Ling, living in a world of raves and drugs, seeks to escape the environment she is in and serves as the guardian for her mother and brother, but it seems she is seeking to escape from more than just debts of the past but from Hong Kong itself (a common theme among young people these days). Kid is looking for his ICQ friend Lovely, but when he meets her, he finds it is not what he expected. In today's modern era of online friends, this plotline could have been developed even further than it is here. The film's point (as is given in a brief statement at the end) is that everyone should have a dream to chase even if these dreams cannot always be attained. Unfortunately the interesting points that the film brings up are never as fully developed as they could have been and the more interesting characters of the film, such as the Joker's father and Ling's mother, are dealt with the least.

The film features a great deal of CG for the Princess-d sequences (and a few others). This is no Final Fantasy, but some of the sequences are quite beautiful. For the most part however many of these are mere eye candy and have no real bearing on the storyline. These visuals along with the strong performances ultimately save the film and keep it entertaining, but don't expect to fly out of your seat.
http://www.hkmdb.com/db/movies/reviews.mhtml?id=9866&display_set=eng
Overall review rating - 3 (out of 5)
Review by Paul Fox
Location: AMC Festival Walk
Time: Thursday 28 March 2002 9:35pm

Wednesday, May 15, 2002

just figured out my schedule for fall of 2002 ^^ yups, done planning for the first quarter after summer~ anyways, taking 2bio classes, physics and chinese (for chinese speakers who "cant" read or write chinese)...*CHUCKLES* ahem, yes, me no read and write chinese =P it's gonna an easy easy A ^_^ perhaps my first A!! hhee...yay~ ok ok..enough. sorta dont want to take exact same classes as denise's...i dont want to be forced to study everyday and get picked on when i dont. (bleh~) have nothing better to do now, since the next midterm is not around till next week...reading for chem again and updating journal again. i am bored. used to hate peanut butter esp reese's cups. but i like reesesticks and peanut butter&jelly sandwich. why did i bring it up? cuz i'm eating reesesticks.

can't wait to go home...sigh~ plan to stay for the long weekend..cuz everyone is staying.. oh yea, it's fox's bday on next tues..must bring the self-drawn bowl home. i bet u she'd love it and love me even more ^_^ hehee...yup.

oh yea, i realize i like math, feel kinda strange not taking any math course from now on..hmmm~ i just realized that i hate chem or just that i like bio more ba. i dont like how chem presents the problems,etc. oh yea, taking 2bio classes next quarter do prove to u that i love bio right~? =P (it's actually becuz it fits my schedule better that way). yay~ living in my own apartment next year ^o^ joy joy joy. i can't wait to have my own room..it's gonna be a pain to move *shivers*

Tuesday, May 14, 2002

no, i'm not the drinking type of person... drinking is bad!! please, believe me that i'm not a drinking person. even roomie was surprised that i threw up after a bit of champaign today as i told her the whole story. i was like, "no, i'm very innocent~" she laughed at me!!! >_< (when she doesnt drink at all...blah!) anyway, felt really good after getting 5hrs of sleep.. woke up early to finish up my chem hw la...so yeah.. and took a shower..^^|| i brushed my teeth yesterday okay.. oh yeah, whats so funny is that lori is now sleeping on my bed.. ^^|||
whyam i up at this time? i came back fr sac singing karaoke and having bday dinner at 2:20am. it was funny altho i used up all cash on me.. aiya..but.. i think it's worth it ba.. havent been so crazy for a long time... anyways, then went upstairs to meet up with them again. planned to work on chem lab but ended up chatting and drinking a bottle of champaign.. my face just turned red right away and it wont go away!!! anyways, i think i'm physically drunk or buzzed... i felt so bad after like an hour. could feel my own heart beat, headache, heaviness on the head, and my rising body temp. had to ask a fd to walk me back to my room...was feeling very bad like i was about to faint in any minute. my vision started to blur on the way back to my room and was walking funny ^^|| finally i threw up in my room into the trash can ofcourse...thats becuz i ate a bday right after i drank the little glass of champaign.. and feel so much better after the throwing up..^^ this is my first time throwing up cuz i drank! drinking is bad...and pointless but.. it was only a third of the glass. my arms and legs are now pink too...hmm.. is this normaL? hehe, ok ok, it is..=P u know how the alcohol restricts the flow of blood therefore ur heart beats faster after drinking. so i guess this is why i turn pink ba. ok...i dont think i can brush my teeth tonite...nor taking a showwa. nite.

Monday, May 13, 2002

was kind of busy so didnt update my journal yesterday. anyway, couldnt sleep last nite, kept thinking about things i did with some friends lately. oh god, i wasted so much money lately!! low on cash now.. >_< ok ok, gotta tell myself not to ask for any money until i'm done with this quarter..yes yes..i should set limits for myself again.

suddenly missed lani yesterday...i really miss the way she looks..^^|| yes yes, i can be superficial too~ anyways, she's cute and i dont have any class with her this quarter. SIGH. the last time i saw her was like 2months ago..*sniffs* anyhoo.. oh, i remembered how people used to ask me what kind of qualities i look in a gf/bf...i would just answer "i dont know, it depends. i'd know when i meet the person." lately, i think i've met a girl who met almost every nice quality that i unconsciously looked for in a person. lets name some so u'd know what i'm talking about here... like, she's friendly, generous (esp to friends), patient (when u have problems), polite, intelligent (academically n whatnot), witty (gets everything i say, no need for repeats)... yeah...isnt she cool? ^_^ well, i'm glad just having her as a friend. no need for further possibility. i hope that she can stay straight forever cuz she deserves better. being gay is such a trouble. it gets annoying sometimes. and u know how it is with gay and les, there's hardly any good ending. rarely. i'd rather be straight.

music midterm wasnt as tricky as i thought it'd be ^o^ still did bad, but good enough. i deserve for whatever i'll get for that class. anyways, should i eat out with a group of fds or just stay home and nap? hmm..both choices are quite tempting..=P have a feeling that i'll end up going out. peer pressure ma~ hee, jk. it's more like, the power of a crowd is greater than of an individual. must sleep early tonite.. couldnt fall asleep last nite ((argh)) i dont fall asleep during classes but my eyes get kinda itchy and tired.

Sunday, May 12, 2002

i slept at like 10-11pm last nite.. planning to nap for 2hrs then more studies...but i only woke up a few times in between and found roomie studying.. i finally woke up at 6:30am, turned off my computer and went back to sleep till 10:30am. now i'm up studying for music w/11-12hrs of sleep(for the first time in 2months ba~) ^___^ feel so good now.. as in, i'm sure i can productive all day without yawning! hehe...yes yes, i skipped church..but..uh..hmm...^^|| no comment.

mommy asked me if i have time to finish everything by tonite. i said, "well, they are all due tmr, i have to finish them by tonite." i miss home. i miss my hamsta~ i thought i'd have time to watch some movies over the weekend, but it's funny how roomie saw most of the movies i've kept yet not watched this weekend..aiya...i finally got the movie starring nic tse based on a story fr the radio programs for like 4months, still havent seen it..whoops. oh shoot, just remembered that i'm supposed to pick up my bowl for foxie and finish another bowl..hmm... i'll just do it next week... sigh.

Saturday, May 11, 2002

it's so tempting not to go to church tmr... if so, i can sleep at 5 tonite, i can study more and get more things done too. yes yes, i'm weird cuz i can concentrate better at nite. i dont know..it's like, the reason i would stay in davis used to be "so i can go to church on sunday" and "to study here". but now it's like, i'm lazy to go to church...maybe i'm just lack of commitment to god. hmm...i have a feeling that i wont go to church tmr... i'm sorry...what should i do?

Friday, May 10, 2002

went to nuttree outlets mall in vacaville with roomie today from 3-7pm...i'm tired..especially cuz i wore contacts since 8. anyways, i still managed to arrive home safely, praise the lord. stopped myself fr purchasing for a few times.. and i didnt buy anything until i got to sanrio and nike stores. got this cute little stick-on-fabric of "U-sa-ha-na" (this bunny w/blue and pink ears) and a pairs of presto. told my mom about the shoes and she was like, "oh god, more shoes?!!" me, "er.........hmm..." ^^|| too bad la, she wasnt around..hehee...have to drive roomie's car back tmr which means half of my dad will be wasted again..sigh. gonna finish up this chapter for chem!! gonna finish this by 3am tonite.
gonna take o-chem next fall, but i already hate pre o-chem...i'm better at bio ba..like the chemistry involved in biological processes.

been taking showers with friends every nite for these 2weeks.. well, not together, but separately. anyhoo, i think i spend too much time with the same group of people or should i say just a few people? hehee, it's a "bad" thing~ =P those who claim to be my sister or slave or pet.. it's good that lori went home, that means i can lock myself in my room and study for what i havent done so for the week. aiya~ have to accompany roomie to places today and tmr...ugh.. somehow i'd rather stay home and start on my assignments..cuz..i know how much i really have to make up for. but, she just finished 2midterms...and i've been neglecting her and hanging out w/lori instead... (gosh, i'm so popular~) jk...still, i want to spend more time (hopefully quality time) with roomie like what we used to do.

my cute mug is here with me ^o^ cant wait to show my mom and bros ^_^

i want to start on writing another story in chinese..this time is gonna be something about "me vs. me".. like the another side of me that i hate. it's gonna be fun ^.^ but too bad, my chinese program is still inactive, gay ass.

Thursday, May 09, 2002

finally got my cute cute mug!! ^______^ hehee, and was working on 2bowls, one for foxie and another one for myself. just drew a pic of a fox and fox in chinese on the bowl with the quote on blogger; was trying to do what i did to my mug on my bowl..like law and sky,etc... pretty fun and i'm faster this time. i told them that it's for mother's day so that bowl will be finished by sunday *chuckles* gonna go back to work on my own bowl over the weekend... ^.^ saw spider-man, pretty good, kirsten looks way too old for tobey...*argh* i'm not in love with him nor his look, but still...
anyways, went out all day from 12-9...hehee ^^||| my lovely thursday~ it's gone!! dohh~ oh well~...hmm..hmm.. i will work hard on the weekend? hehee..=P gonna go shop on friday with roomie at vacaville *chuckles* oh yea, i ran out of cash already... darn...and not like i pay in cash all the time. i always use my bro's credit card...hmm...i guess i should stop going out. my DC misses me. hm, i better study now.
noooOOoooOo!! >_< i'm scared now after seeing my score on the gay-o-meter!! dohh!

>The Channel 4 Gay-O-Meter has calculated that sun is 60 percent gay! Find out just how gay you are with the Channel 4 Gay-O-Meter http://www.channel4.com/gayometer

Sun is 60% gay!
congrats. you've scored right in the middle and are a happy and well adjusted lesbian babe.
my eng midterm was pretty easy..i love my professor...*mwah!* i am so serious, he's like the nicest prof i've ever had in college after augustine. yea, i actually liked the way augustine taugh, he's cool. went to sac for dinner with pet-human/slave, ro and kitty. shopped at target's, me got chocolate, had sudden urge for peanut butter.. but gotta cut down on my snacks. gonna watch spider-man tmr with lori (lok lui daap) ^_^ yes yes, i'll work hard over the weekend la, how's dat? i will or else i'll be doomed. hmmm, cant wait to see my cute cute mug!! ^_____^ wanna make a bowl for fox and myself...might go on fri or weekend.

Wednesday, May 08, 2002

slept at 1:15 last nite...planned to go to bed at 12...but was in the mood to finish the chapter for chem..sigh~ u know, being in the mood is a rare thing. must get as much things done (60-75% of the time i'd be unproductive, so yea) woke up at 7:40..hee, glad that i didnt feel like sleep in class.. those around me were worse, hehe. list of things that need to be done: eng midterm, music research, music midterm, eng essay, math midterm, watching spider-man and picking up my dearest mug on thurs, and more chem studying before midterm in 2weeks. argh, have to finish all those over the weekend...aww~

Tuesday, May 07, 2002

nothing much for today..just kicked back for half a day and studied in the evening... gonna finish the last hr of my drama series tmr. i already knew that it's a happy ending..therefore the only motivation to finish it is just to see the cute coupl. i'm back to some serious praying before i go to bed.. for my second aunt's health and hope that she'll get to know god, my parent's worries (hope god'll give them a more positive perspective on things also), krojen's mood and studies, roommate's well being, and my studies.

"God can move mountains, but only prayers can move God."
woke up 30mins b4 chem lab today..hee ^^ whoops. anyhoo, sorta messed up on my lab..dohh! but oh well. midterm and my paper due date have been pushed back till monday..so now i'm basically wasting time..SIGH. i'm glad i'm staying here for the weekend..or else i wont have time to study and to finish my essay by sunday. after watching the last episode on marmalade boy i'll be back to my studious mood..no more fun things till summer...yes yes, must reinforce this so i wont slack off now. i want to get at least 2B's this time.
been watching this taiwanese drama series "the marmalade boy"...it's just a silly story...but the guy and the girl are too cute..so yea. anyways, there's this plot that another girl acts and thinks differently when she is in love with another guy. she used to be a selfish person, but now she becomes a person who cares and appreciates. ^_^ there's this one scene where she wanted to give her bf a handmade wool sweater. i just smiled..cuz.. it's so sweet.. people'd do such troublesome/complicated things for their loved ones just because their loved ones truly appreciate/cherish. it's like, i'd write emails to a friend who consider getting mails fr me is meaningful/important. (well, unless i'm totally wrong on this..) but anyway..just let me believe that my mails are important, ok~ =P well, yeah, thats just my sudden thought for the day.

Sunday, May 05, 2002

awww, roomie told me that some girl asked her who's like some new friends she met in college whom she could carry non-superficial conversations with? she answered the girl, "my roommate ba~" ^_____________________^ *chuckles* good job, i love u too, roomie. =P so keep answering people that. and just tell all of ur friends that even if they didnt ask u that question ^+++^

just came back fr the last orchestral concert performed by UCD orchestra. sorry that i left early and slept thru it. well, who to blame when i dindt get enough of sleep...my bad~ not that i meant to sleep thru it...hmm..yea.. sorry..i do feel bad cuz it was obvious that i slept. sigh. ok ok, i paid for it...so it's better right?
finally done studying for music which i have forgotten(abandoned) for 2weeks. been in a studious mood lately, excellent! anyhoo, took the colorgenics test again and here's my result.

1. I'm seeking for a relationship that has love, self-sacrifice and mutual trust. comment: wow, i am seeking for true love? well, i dun care anymore..whatever comes, let it be.
2. i need to solve my problems immediately and should take advises fr my friends,etc. all of my fds can feel my desperation. comment: *ahem* i am not desperate! anyway, my problems, eh?
3. i am ready to establish a relationship that is available to me at this time. just that a bit of conflict is involved. avoid direct confrontation at all costs. relationship that is available to me? ..hmm... me, myself, and I?
4. "Nobody seems to understand you at this moment for everything you suggest or do seems to be taken up the wrong way. All of this misunderstanding is leading to anxiety and stress. you feel that you are being treated most unfairly. You consider yourself being denied the appreciation essential to your well being and self-esteem and that there is nothing you can do about it. You feel that whatever you try to do to change the situation, you are getting nowhere fast. You would really like to get away from it all but can't find the energy or the strength of mind to make the necessary decision." comment: hee, wow, that sounds like i should be stressed out, hmm.
5. my will to cope my situation is giving me lots of stresses and tensions. i feel that i'm not capable of handling the situation and want to escape fr it. comment: escape? no no, i'm happy with how my life is now (esp when i'm done studying for stupid music now). me done solvoing problems for friends, so it's all cool now. not that i care anymore when one side bugs me, hm, i wonder if this negative attitude towards DD is right or not? hmmm, i dunno. i should just remind myself to stay neutral (okay, fine, i'll "act" neutral) hehe...^_^

cat, glad that u like the song.. stella's songs were out 2yrs ago...just sudden miss her songs..so uploaded it. anyway, my yahoo briefcase is full now.. any good suggestion of free servers to save files in? maybe i should try my UCD server..hee.

slept during sunday service and communion...^^|| sorry loh~ i slept at 1:45am.. woke up at 7:40am...i used to be able to stay awake even if i got only 5hrs of sleep.. like i got used to it..since i havent been to church for like a bit more than a month, i fall asleep through it again. whoops. anyhoo..roomie still sleeping..argh. i skipped sunday school...cuz i knew i'd fall asleep in it too.

Saturday, May 04, 2002

recommendation of latest albums:Karen mok's "I",
most of her songs are pretty nice..^_^ lyrics are nice too..as in meaningful and true.
here's her track 2-the queen sized bed in a single's room lyric here it's saying how the guy seeks for relationship when he's not ready for one; he only cares about him. they aren't willing to open their hearts and sacrifice for each other.
track3-love lyric here
the chorus is about "cuz you'd always remind me the past is always on my mind, i can't never be with my true love. if i never loved you, i wouldn't lose myself. recalling the memory of you will always remind me that i wouldn't be happy even if i have everything.
Track5-My girlfriend's boyfriend
translation:
"i'd supply you with whatever u want, even my date with him. he's no body when he's to compare with you. you're like my close friend and god sister. i will never let him break our relationship. he doesnt deserve to enjoy the fragrances of two diff perfumes (2perfurms=2girls). you are always my medicine to my wound (you=her best friend), he's only a cup of coffee. you'd ask me if i'm tired or not. he makes me stay awake. our friendship is worth more than my relationship with him. our destination would be the same if we were with him.
Track6-sin lyric here
got a new perfume, hope that it'd cover my odor of loneliness and to forget someone. you look like someone, a theif of souls. love is so tiring. i can't regret. even my imagination is under your control. altho hugging and kissing would only give me temporary happiness, i'm still willing to enjoy the short moments of those. love is my only sin.
my fav track 7-how much time you have given me lyric here
hey, how much time is needed before we really understand each other? hey, how much more do i have to miss you before i get your total attention? hey, i'm just right next to you, but it's already passed another year. what's really in between us? only a thin line or a gap that will forever depart us? love is a habitat between 2people. but i'm the only one who's "hunting for love". how much time u have given me before u disappear? hey, love is just next to you, but you didnt realize. how much further do u have to travel before u reach our destination? but i fell and realized what a dream i have lived in. i gave you my love, and how much of my time you have wasted?
Karen sang "close to you" (track11) that reminds me of the scene when homer met marge in high school.

i like the way the female character in marmalade boy.. her acting isnt so bad altho she exaggerates a lot..but its all becuz of her character la. anyway.. i used to listen to her CDs, she sings pretty good.. ^^ and she composed and wrote most of her songs and lyrics for her songs too! ^__^ yes, isn't she cool?!
stella wong.
Stella Wong-the 7th day after break up download here
i actually spent several productive hours on chem last nite and this early early morning..slept at 5:45am..hee, yea.. am...watched 12episodes (20mins each) for hrs..hee, cuz i wont have a chance to watch any movie/drama series during weekdays ma..so i better watch it on fri nite. i'm studying for music now...have to attend concert tonite and go to church tmr morning..then work on hw on sun nite.sigh. i'm still sleepy.. my lamp always makes me sleepy...aiya.. oh shoot, have to write an essay by wed too...GRR

Friday, May 03, 2002

S.H.E.'s latest album is pretty good...i was surprised. listened to one song of theirs everyday for like a month..ofcourse i "move on" but i'm still not sick of it. another friend of mine likes SHE too..^^ she sent me their MTV and it reminded me of those kpop MTVs. anyways, i really like Hebe's style.. maybe becuz she has short hair ba.. oh well. hebe is to the right. SHE-tropical rainforest
i am so sleepy and tired..didnt want to go to classes today..SIGH. why? i didn't fall asleep till 1something or 2 bah... thx to who?....%!##@..i really want to go home but i know i need to study. sigh...or else would i stay for my roommate? NO! not this time. i think part of me is mad at her for being so crazy over drama series and slacking off. it's been 2-3weeks ba...it just pisses me off that she's not taking everything seriously except her VCDs. maybe thats becuz her mom isn't here ba.. she needed sth to kill some of her time? i dunno.. anyway, i just dont feel like talking to her lately...dont feel like talking at all... sorry, peeps, not that i dont like u guys..just feel like being silent. speechless. no comment.

oh, and i blew my math midterm...like a D ba...dohh! but i'm pretty sure that i'll do fine on the next one... i'm getting the stuff... now gotta study for music...doing not as well in music too...eng is okay, plus our prof is super nice, i should be able to pull a B. anything more than a C for music and math. might be able to pull a B- for chem too. dont know la.. so gotta study hard this quarter...but it's hard when ur room has all sort of noises every nite. sigh.

Thursday, May 02, 2002

love.......

i dont believe that i will end up being with the one person i'm dating with if we were together. i'm only 19. it's hard to just think if i'd still be with this person at age of 20 or 21..haha, will this person be my last and only love? my answer is definitely NOT. i dont believe that my true love would appear at my age of 18/19.. no, s/he would be too immature or as immature as me anyway. i dont know..maybe this is why i'm not very serious in the last few relationships i was in. i am still waiting for a person who can make me be serious and crazy over him/her again. i have lost that kinda passion for a long time (haha, dont i sound as if i were really old or i were so experienced?). dont know if telling u this would ruin my reputation n my impression to u or not.. my first relationship was when i was 14, another one at 15, and 18. didnt know why was there a 3-yr-gap.. partly under self-exploration or i didnt really fall in love w/anyone around me or there was none that seemed interesting or i was being too picky or others were being too picky =P. mentioning all this cuz i just read a fd's journal and knew that she went thru..lots of depressions fr her relationship...sigh... anyway, i just realize that...lovers do take their partners' angers without much complains even it's due to a nonsense reason..i mean, the whole point in listening to ur partner is to be there for her so that she knows u care and love her. i dont know.. i wont talk back if someone's sad or mad..i'd listen. i guess, thinking of something to say is harder than to shut up, so i'd rather shut up ^^|| smart move, eh? ^.^ dont u hate it when fds just yap about their bfs (good n bad)..i've never been so sick and tired of those yappings... not that i dont welcome ur talking to me or seeking advise fr me, but the fact that, pls dont make this a daily thing!! SIGH. okay...just some thoughts.

didnt take my eng midterm yesterday cuz the proctor my prof sent showed up late so everyone inthe class decided to leave after 10mins of waiting *chuckle* so my fds and I ended up wandering around in downtown davis for 2hrs...my feet were killing me last nite! anyhoo..then rewatched hk VCD w/my fds till 3am. went to sacramento at 11:40am this morning till 5pm. arden mall is not as good as valley fair..sorry, bay area is still better =p got 2tiny pins w/homer simpson's face ^________^ gonna give one to alex when i have a chance to.. but if not, that means one more pin for my other bag! have been so unproductive in the past two days.. have an essay to finish up by 5pm on fri...if i finish it before 5, i may consider going home for the weekend. should I????!!! i still have too much food in the fridge for the week..aiya...well, i'll see.

Ephesian 5: 25-27   Husbands, love your wives,  just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her   26  to make her holy,  clean...